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DD Still wants to go to high school but I have a plan. Am I being too hard? Update

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Question: Do you think I'm being unfair?

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Yes, I think you are.

No, not at all.

Eh, I'll explain in the replies.


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Total Votes: 39

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I had a long talk with dd. She admitted that the public school draw was more social than anything else but it's more important for her to be learning. So she's decided to stay homeschooled.

Another change I'm making, is how we do school work. For the next month or so, I'm going to try real world learning. Instead of traditional algebra, dd is going to be figuring out her monthly payments for a 10,000 dollar Mustang convertible with a 7.5 interest rate. Or I'll have her deposit a check  in her account with a negative balance, then see how many bills she can pay and have money left for groceries. I'm also planning on having her do a lot more cooking and baking, something she enjoys but I just haven't found time to do. I'm trying to encourage her to read more by paying her 1.5 cents per page,lol. Writing she's always been good at and for science and history I'd like to watch more documentaries with her so she can find topics that interest her. She's pretty excited about this change. Wish me luck!

After coming back from her aunt's, dd is more insistent than ever about wanting to go to a "real" high school. (Sil and her bf spun tales of all the social experiences she'll be missing out on) I'm completely against it. She's already so behind as it is and there's no way she could keep pace in a high school setting.

Then I had a plan. My teaching style is very relaxed and laid back. The kids learn what they're interested in at their own pace. But, if she truly wants to go back to public school, that would have to change. I would look up common core and start teaching her to those standards. She would have to work very hard to catch up and by the end of summer, I would test her. If she is at or above where she needs to be, I'll send her to high school. If not, she'll have to stay home for another year.

She told me I was being unfair, and I'm just trying to make it hard on purpose. 

by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 11:37 AM
Replies (31-40):
debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:52 PM

Your welcome.  I just want to keep peace on here.  The homeschool boards are about the only ones I am on daily because there is hardly ever any drama.  I know we all teach differently, but we all work together and support each other.  It makes me happy.

Quoting paganbaby:

Sorry... I did tell her she suckedembarrassed

Thank you though. I really appreciate it.

Quoting debramommyof4:

 That was harsh.  We come here for advice and support not to be attacked.  We all get enough of that from people who do not understand or appreciate homeschool.  And while you may believe someone is a failure, please try to give them advice or be more gentle with your opinion. 

I am sure you would hate it if some one told you "You suck"  Or you are a failure.

Quoting mommy2adandykid:

honestly, if she is 'so far behind' you need to put her in regular school NOW.  get over yourself-you failed at homeschooling. move on.  

 


 

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:55 PM
1 mom liked this

It's true! It's rare for me to see any drama in here. Some of you ladies may disagree but it's always done respectfully. Honestly, I was very surprised with her comment.

Quoting debramommyof4:

Your welcome.  I just want to keep peace on here.  The homeschool boards are about the only ones I am on daily because there is hardly ever any drama.  I know we all teach differently, but we all work together and support each other.  It makes me happy.

Quoting paganbaby:

Sorry... I did tell her she suckedembarrassed

Thank you though. I really appreciate it.

Quoting debramommyof4:

 That was harsh.  We come here for advice and support not to be attacked.  We all get enough of that from people who do not understand or appreciate homeschool.  And while you may believe someone is a failure, please try to give them advice or be more gentle with your opinion. 

I am sure you would hate it if some one told you "You suck"  Or you are a failure.

Quoting mommy2adandykid:

honestly, if she is 'so far behind' you need to put her in regular school NOW.  get over yourself-you failed at homeschooling. move on.  

 


 


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:59 PM

Oh, no. I was agreeing with you! Sorry I didn't make that clear,lol.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

 I think you mssed a line. I understand that's not what she is thinking about, which is why you need to make sure she understands exactly what she is getting herself into and then let her decide. There is no going back and forth.

I forgot she had jusst "tried" it again. In this case, there would be no coming home before the end of the year. If she chooses high school, she MUST finish out the year, no matter if she is failing or held back.


Quoting paganbaby:

She's not looking at the work involved. Her idea of high school is cute boys in the hall, best friends gossiping during lunch, prom, football games, ect. 

If she's willing to put the time and effort, I'm willing to let her try high school. Like you, it would be, see how it goes but no more back and forth.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I wold set up an appointment wit ha school counselor at the high school she wold atted. Go over the requirements, the rules and expectations and have her tested to see where she wold be placed.  





Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 7:00 PM

Nice!

Quoting MamaLauri:

I think you want to know how she is doing against the core.

With an individualized education she should be doing better than in public school. (A study using the Woodcock-Johnson Test of Achievement and well matched peers, determined that in 5 of the 7 academic areas homeschoolers were at least one grade level ahead of public schoolers, and 1/2 grade higher in math.)

If she has challenge areas, those need to be identified and addressed.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 7:07 PM

I like this. The hardest part for me is finding our rhythm. My personal style growing up would have completely unschooled, my son does well with mostly child led, dd doesn't respond to either, nor did she adapt well to traditional. I like what you outlined though. It feels like it's something that could work for her.

Quoting Chasing3:

i agree i can't tell you what to do, but I can say what I would do in the situation.

I'd insist my dd can't change her mind on a whim and she is stickind with current decision for one full year.

AND I'd insist that I am going to teaching to some standards. Not necessarily CC, because I can't deal with that, but not really relaxed either. I'd pick a few things that have to be done daily: math, reading, writing and then a choice from a list of something else (grammar, spelling, vocab, geography, language, etc). I'd say science and social studies can roll into the daily reading/writing requirement - after all, you've got 5 days a week, so if she read and wrote on science once day, on Social Studies (or history) another, then there's still 3 other days to read fiction or non fiction and write on those or an other topic. And, I'd try to mix in field trips, art projects, music appreciation, physical exercise as I see fit.

That's just what I'd do. If I didn't make some rules and aim to mostly stick to a plan, all I'd get done is surfing the web, hitting the gym, drinking coffee and chatting on the phone and if I got a load of laundry done in a day, I'd be patting myself on the back for being so productive. And all my ds would do is play video games and watch tv!

does she struggle with reading? I can give you an idea for a reading program I really, really like.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

MelanieJK
by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 7:11 PM

I'm missing something.     Why aren't you upset that she's not capable of keeping up?      You're not doing her any favors by allowing her to stay behind.     Today she's not prepared to go to a school she's interesting in.    Tommorrow she won't be prepared to take on an opportunity that she's interested in.

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 7:18 PM

I know, I really need to. I just find her reasoning irritating. She's not looking at her education, just her social life. 

I really am considering letting her try, if only for the experience. I know she won't stay though. She had a terrible time keeping pace all three years of middle school and I don't see how high school would be any easier. 

I have a question. What did you need to give the high school, paperwork wise, to enroll your girls?

Quoting NYCitymomx3:

Both of my dds went to public high school after 8th grade.  It was their choice. I was ok with it because here in NYC you get to apply for more than 12 schools (out of 400+ total).  Both got into their first choice schools -one for journalism and one for performing arts.  That said, yes, I would have loved them to continue homeschooling, but I felt it was important for me to let them at least try it if it's what they really wanted to do. 

I think it is important to get her up to speed on 8th grade work.  But it's more important to change your attitude toward her decision and show her that you are supportive - even if you aren't.  Honestly, you really need only to focus on math and language arts.  Work on the 4 basic functions, some prealgebra, grammar,  and composition.  Then let the school give her the placement test and she has to deal with where she's placed.

Letting her try high school is probably going to be better than the resentment she'll feel about it and about you for a long time, imo.  I mean, if the school is really horrible and dangerous, then do what you can to keep her home.  If not, I say let her see what high school is really like.  My dds loved it and actually did get to do a ton of really fun things.  


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 7:20 PM

Public school isn't for every child. I know it certainly wasn't for me. That doesn't upset me. This year will be her first year homeschooling with me and once we get started, I have no doubts that she'll make tons of progress :-)

Quoting MelanieJK:

I'm missing something.     Why aren't you upset that she's not capable of keeping up?      You're not doing her any favors by allowing her to stay behind.     Today she's not prepared to go to a school she's interesting in.    Tommorrow she won't be prepared to take on an opportunity that she's interested in.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

TidewaterClan
by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 7:52 PM

This is just a thought, but is there any subject that she REALLY enjoys?  My girls both absolutely LOVE history.  I can throw any language arts work: spelling words, main idea, supporting details, find the homonyms, diagramming, etc., into our social studies and they don't even blink.  We've even included art the last two weeks into SS because it goes right along with our other lessons.

Does she have anything that you could use as your anchor and pull in some other (necessary) skills?

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 8:11 PM

I like how you think! Hmmm... she loves art. Painting, drawing, crafts,ect. What do you think I can do with that?

Quoting TidewaterClan:

This is just a thought, but is there any subject that she REALLY enjoys?  My girls both absolutely LOVE history.  I can throw any language arts work: spelling words, main idea, supporting details, find the homonyms, diagramming, etc., into our social studies and they don't even blink.  We've even included art the last two weeks into SS because it goes right along with our other lessons.

Does she have anything that you could use as your anchor and pull in some other (necessary) skills?


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

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