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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

DD Still wants to go to high school but I have a plan. Am I being too hard? Update

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Question: Do you think I'm being unfair?

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Yes, I think you are.

No, not at all.

Eh, I'll explain in the replies.


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Total Votes: 39

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I had a long talk with dd. She admitted that the public school draw was more social than anything else but it's more important for her to be learning. So she's decided to stay homeschooled.

Another change I'm making, is how we do school work. For the next month or so, I'm going to try real world learning. Instead of traditional algebra, dd is going to be figuring out her monthly payments for a 10,000 dollar Mustang convertible with a 7.5 interest rate. Or I'll have her deposit a check  in her account with a negative balance, then see how many bills she can pay and have money left for groceries. I'm also planning on having her do a lot more cooking and baking, something she enjoys but I just haven't found time to do. I'm trying to encourage her to read more by paying her 1.5 cents per page,lol. Writing she's always been good at and for science and history I'd like to watch more documentaries with her so she can find topics that interest her. She's pretty excited about this change. Wish me luck!

After coming back from her aunt's, dd is more insistent than ever about wanting to go to a "real" high school. (Sil and her bf spun tales of all the social experiences she'll be missing out on) I'm completely against it. She's already so behind as it is and there's no way she could keep pace in a high school setting.

Then I had a plan. My teaching style is very relaxed and laid back. The kids learn what they're interested in at their own pace. But, if she truly wants to go back to public school, that would have to change. I would look up common core and start teaching her to those standards. She would have to work very hard to catch up and by the end of summer, I would test her. If she is at or above where she needs to be, I'll send her to high school. If not, she'll have to stay home for another year.

She told me I was being unfair, and I'm just trying to make it hard on purpose. 

by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 11:37 AM
Replies (41-50):
TidewaterClan
by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 8:33 PM

We have a wonderful Art book (Art Express).  It has "Art Across the Curriculum" with math, social studies, etc.  Let me look through that tonight and see what kinds of ideas you might be able to use.  

Quoting paganbaby:

I like how you think! Hmmm... she loves art. Painting, drawing, crafts,ect. What do you think I can do with that?

Quoting TidewaterClan:

This is just a thought, but is there any subject that she REALLY enjoys?  My girls both absolutely LOVE history.  I can throw any language arts work: spelling words, main idea, supporting details, find the homonyms, diagramming, etc., into our social studies and they don't even blink.  We've even included art the last two weeks into SS because it goes right along with our other lessons.

Does she have anything that you could use as your anchor and pull in some other (necessary) skills?



paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 9:27 PM

Thanks!

Quoting TidewaterClan:

We have a wonderful Art book (Art Express).  It has "Art Across the Curriculum" with math, social studies, etc.  Let me look through that tonight and see what kinds of ideas you might be able to use.  

Quoting paganbaby:

I like how you think! Hmmm... she loves art. Painting, drawing, crafts,ect. What do you think I can do with that?

Quoting TidewaterClan:

This is just a thought, but is there any subject that she REALLY enjoys?  My girls both absolutely LOVE history.  I can throw any language arts work: spelling words, main idea, supporting details, find the homonyms, diagramming, etc., into our social studies and they don't even blink.  We've even included art the last two weeks into SS because it goes right along with our other lessons.

Does she have anything that you could use as your anchor and pull in some other (necessary) skills?




Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 9:39 PM
2 moms liked this

In your shoes, having just pulled her out, my kid wouldn't have that option right now.   I'd have to tell her that, too.   I mean, you JUST set up homeschooling her two months ago.     Going back and forth isn't healthy for either of you.

I think the two of you need to commit to making this work.  This is a team effort.   You both need to explain your expectations and the things you need out of life and out of this schooling experience.  

Then, I'd tell her that pulling her wasn't a "break" it was because brick and mortar school wasn't working out for her future.  

I know that you want to use the whole gentle approach, but do you think that this is her way of saying she's getting bored of no routine and no success?   I mean, the social aspect is such a small thing and can be worked on.   She can join sports, book clubs, library, art, drama, etc...   it won't be long before she can get a job and start earning some money, with homeschooling she can work around her school hours and work hours most kids can't.

There are so many benefits and possibilities regarding homeschooling that I think she hasn't had a chance to make a good decision.   Neither have you.

Are you committed to this?   That's the first question to ask.   Because whether they are 4 or 14, they respond better when you are excited and committed to it.   Your enthusiasm (or lack of) will be contagious.





paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 9:45 PM

And this right here, is why our group rocks so hard. I'm going to come back to this after I get dd in bed.

Quoting KrissyKC:

In your shoes, having just pulled her out, my kid wouldn't have that option right now.   I'd have to tell her that, too.   I mean, you JUST set up homeschooling her two months ago.     Going back and forth isn't healthy for either of you.

I think the two of you need to commit to making this work.  This is a team effort.   You both need to explain your expectations and the things you need out of life and out of this schooling experience.  

Then, I'd tell her that pulling her wasn't a "break" it was because brick and mortar school wasn't working out for her future.  

I know that you want to use the whole gentle approach, but do you think that this is her way of saying she's getting bored of no routine and no success?   I mean, the social aspect is such a small thing and can be worked on.   She can join sports, book clubs, library, art, drama, etc...   it won't be long before she can get a job and start earning some money, with homeschooling she can work around her school hours and work hours most kids can't.

There are so many benefits and possibilities regarding homeschooling that I think she hasn't had a chance to make a good decision.   Neither have you.

Are you committed to this?   That's the first question to ask.   Because whether they are 4 or 14, they respond better when you are excited and committed to it.   Your enthusiasm (or lack of) will be contagious.






Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

kowl
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 9:03 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't think you are being unfair at all.  It is our job as parents to do what we feel is best for our kids.  At her age she does not have the ability to see the future and understand your reasoning.  You didn't say absolutely no.  You gave her an option.  If this is what you want then this is what you will have to do.  If nothing else she will learn that if she wants something then she has to work for it.  Too many kids now want everything handed to them on a silver platter.  

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 11:05 AM

I'm back.

I feel like a fool. This is what I should have done a long time ago. I guess I figured everything would just fall into place like it did with Bubba.

Ithink that's exactly what's she's saying. She told me yesterday, the reason she wants to sleep so late is so she has less time to kill before her friends come over. I thought I was helping her by giving her a break. Before when we were doing work, she was bored and miserable, when we stopped she was breifly happy, then back to bored and miserable again. I don't know what to do! The only thing I'm sure of is that PS is NOT for her.

Just had a thought. Tell me what you think. I still want to give her till the first of the year off from "work" but maybe we can do other things. I was thinking of doing a reading incentive program. For every 5 books she reads, I'll pay her 10$ *This child hasn't cracked a book excepting diary of a wimpy kid since she was 10 :-/ All of her reading is done online* Then I can have her pick an experiment from our book "Totally irresponsible science experiments" Do some arts and crafts. I have a glue gun, popsicle sticks, paints. I also bought this cute sewing kit where you make a book mark. Then we can watch a science show or documentary together. Just some things to keep her busy until her friends come over. Socially she does not lack at all,lol.

Quoting KrissyKC:

In your shoes, having just pulled her out, my kid wouldn't have that option right now.   I'd have to tell her that, too.   I mean, you JUST set up homeschooling her two months ago.     Going back and forth isn't healthy for either of you.

I think the two of you need to commit to making this work.  This is a team effort.   You both need to explain your expectations and the things you need out of life and out of this schooling experience.  

Then, I'd tell her that pulling her wasn't a "break" it was because brick and mortar school wasn't working out for her future.  

I know that you want to use the whole gentle approach, but do you think that this is her way of saying she's getting bored of no routine and no success?   I mean, the social aspect is such a small thing and can be worked on.   She can join sports, book clubs, library, art, drama, etc...   it won't be long before she can get a job and start earning some money, with homeschooling she can work around her school hours and work hours most kids can't.

There are so many benefits and possibilities regarding homeschooling that I think she hasn't had a chance to make a good decision.   Neither have you.

Are you committed to this?   That's the first question to ask.   Because whether they are 4 or 14, they respond better when you are excited and committed to it.   Your enthusiasm (or lack of) will be contagious.






Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 11:10 AM
That sounds like a great idea. I think keeping her busy and maybe you can throw some cooking in there also so she gets real life practice and if she already cooks have her plan menus and make something new.

Quoting paganbaby:

I'm back.

I feel like a fool. This is what I should have done a long time ago. I guess I figured everything would just fall into place like it did with Bubba.

Ithink that's exactly what's she's saying. She told me yesterday, the reason she wants to sleep so late is so she has less time to kill before her friends come over. I thought I was helping her by giving her a break. Before when we were doing work, she was bored and miserable, when we stopped she was breifly happy, then back to bored and miserable again. I don't know what to do! The only thing I'm sure of is that PS is NOT for her.

Just had a thought. Tell me what you think. I still want to give her till the first of the year off from "work" but maybe we can do other things. I was thinking of doing a reading incentive program. For every 5 books she reads, I'll pay her 10$ *This child hasn't cracked a book excepting diary of a wimpy kid since she was 10 :-/ All of her reading is done online* Then I can have her pick an experiment from our book "Totally irresponsible science experiments" Do some arts and crafts. I have a glue gun, popsicle sticks, paints. I also bought this cute sewing kit where you make a book mark. Then we can watch a science show or documentary together. Just some things to keep her busy until her friends come over. Socially she does not lack at all,lol.

Quoting KrissyKC:

In your shoes, having just pulled her out, my kid wouldn't have that option right now.   I'd have to tell her that, too.   I mean, you JUST set up homeschooling her two months ago.     Going back and forth isn't healthy for either of you.

I think the two of you need to commit to making this work.  This is a team effort.   You both need to explain your expectations and the things you need out of life and out of this schooling experience.  

Then, I'd tell her that pulling her wasn't a "break" it was because brick and mortar school wasn't working out for her future.  

I know that you want to use the whole gentle approach, but do you think that this is her way of saying she's getting bored of no routine and no success?   I mean, the social aspect is such a small thing and can be worked on.   She can join sports, book clubs, library, art, drama, etc...   it won't be long before she can get a job and start earning some money, with homeschooling she can work around her school hours and work hours most kids can't.

There are so many benefits and possibilities regarding homeschooling that I think she hasn't had a chance to make a good decision.   Neither have you.

Are you committed to this?   That's the first question to ask.   Because whether they are 4 or 14, they respond better when you are excited and committed to it.   Your enthusiasm (or lack of) will be contagious.






tansyflower
by Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 11:16 AM
1 mom liked this

after two months of homeschooling?  no, i wouldnt let her go back.  i would let her finish out the year at the very least.  i also wouldnt push common core because it would be a total waste of time of both your time and would make her hate homeschooling that much more.  the whole idea behind homeschooling is to foster a child's independent love of learning.

if she was doing that poorly in regular school then she needs something else.  but maybe that something else is a homeschooling association that will give her access to her peers, or some extra curricular activities like an art class at a local college.  give her what she likes and wants, but within a specific scope where you know her chances of succeeding will be much higher.  you already know she doesnt do well in public school and as the mom you need to draw your line in the sand and end that discussion.  but make sure to offer her other, fun alternatives that give her sense of control.

i quite high school at 14.  left home at 15.  home schooled (and by home schooled i mean 90% unschooled) myself and i loved it.  i learned about antiques, the elderly, skilled nursing care, art, history, cooking, baking, sewing, other arts of home making and so much more.  it was all stuff that interested me.  the things i hated i skipped.  and you know what?  i am almost 30 freaking years old and i have never once used algebra (that i know of lol) and it didnt affect me negatively.  by the age of 16 i was running a household, including all my own bills, checking account, household budget ect.  i was beyond responsible for my age and i liked it.  and i even went on to complete an associates program for massage therapy with a science program that mirrored the nursing program minus biology and pharmacology. heck by the age of 20 i opened my own business!  by the age of 22 i was teaching classes at the same school i went to lol.

you dont have to force her to learn things she doesnt like if she isnt interested in them at the moment.  focus that energy on trying to inspire her own sense of self and give her some wiggle room to figure out what she is passionate about.  but please dont dangle public school in front of her when you know she will fail at it just to prove a point.  that doesnt seem like a very good idea to me at all.

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 11:18 AM

Oh yes, cooking! She loves to cook and bake. I'll add that too.

Quoting debramommyof4:

That sounds like a great idea. I think keeping her busy and maybe you can throw some cooking in there also so she gets real life practice and if she already cooks have her plan menus and make something new.

Quoting paganbaby:

I'm back.

I feel like a fool. This is what I should have done a long time ago. I guess I figured everything would just fall into place like it did with Bubba.

Ithink that's exactly what's she's saying. She told me yesterday, the reason she wants to sleep so late is so she has less time to kill before her friends come over. I thought I was helping her by giving her a break. Before when we were doing work, she was bored and miserable, when we stopped she was breifly happy, then back to bored and miserable again. I don't know what to do! The only thing I'm sure of is that PS is NOT for her.

Just had a thought. Tell me what you think. I still want to give her till the first of the year off from "work" but maybe we can do other things. I was thinking of doing a reading incentive program. For every 5 books she reads, I'll pay her 10$ *This child hasn't cracked a book excepting diary of a wimpy kid since she was 10 :-/ All of her reading is done online* Then I can have her pick an experiment from our book "Totally irresponsible science experiments" Do some arts and crafts. I have a glue gun, popsicle sticks, paints. I also bought this cute sewing kit where you make a book mark. Then we can watch a science show or documentary together. Just some things to keep her busy until her friends come over. Socially she does not lack at all,lol.

Quoting KrissyKC:

In your shoes, having just pulled her out, my kid wouldn't have that option right now.   I'd have to tell her that, too.   I mean, you JUST set up homeschooling her two months ago.     Going back and forth isn't healthy for either of you.

I think the two of you need to commit to making this work.  This is a team effort.   You both need to explain your expectations and the things you need out of life and out of this schooling experience.  

Then, I'd tell her that pulling her wasn't a "break" it was because brick and mortar school wasn't working out for her future.  

I know that you want to use the whole gentle approach, but do you think that this is her way of saying she's getting bored of no routine and no success?   I mean, the social aspect is such a small thing and can be worked on.   She can join sports, book clubs, library, art, drama, etc...   it won't be long before she can get a job and start earning some money, with homeschooling she can work around her school hours and work hours most kids can't.

There are so many benefits and possibilities regarding homeschooling that I think she hasn't had a chance to make a good decision.   Neither have you.

Are you committed to this?   That's the first question to ask.   Because whether they are 4 or 14, they respond better when you are excited and committed to it.   Your enthusiasm (or lack of) will be contagious.







Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

TidewaterClan
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 11:51 AM
1 mom liked this

JMO, but Krissy has an excellent point.  The human mind yearns for learning.  I pulled my 6th grader out two months ago.  I gave her two days to detox, then we started working with our curriculum (most of it was from Amazon and arrived quickly during her last week of ps).  She's doing wonderfully, and enjoys every subject again.  Your daughter may be ready tackle math, writing, etc., if she's asking for ps.  It's just a thought.  


There are some great websites for working art into other curriculum areas.  I used "art across the curriculum high school," but I'm sure middle school would return good things too.


Here are some ideas.  The book we have is for 3rd grade, so I skipped past things that wouldn't apply.  

Language Arts - Choose different artwork and have her write descriptions or stories of them, using correct syntax, spelling, and as many details as possible.  I think that would be fun and you could use fiction and non-fiction paintings.

Write poems to describe the mood of a painting, write a Diamante poem, a news article style paper, an advertisement.

Practice creating speeches about buildings or places in an art piece.


Science - Discuss symmetry, prisms (light spectrum), natural dyes, good old-fashioned baking soda & vinegar volcano, tie in archaeology (prehistoric through Indians, etc.).


Math - proportions of the face, objects, and animals.  

Measuring diameter & radius, finding the volume of spheres, etc.  

Geometry (if she needs to go over shapes - hexagons, rhombuses, polygons, etc.).

Create math problems (including fractions, percentages, etc.) using buildings.


Social Studies - There are so many things you can do with this.  Historical paintings that captured time frames, maps to work on geography or map reading skills, etc.  Finding art that goes along with your history (or American History if that's what you'll do).  

Discussing other cultures and celebrations, including folk culture. 


I hope that helps.

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