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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

My mom called the school!((edit)))

I don't know why but this made me feel violated...like really my mom has made it clear that she doesnt agree with my choice to homeschool. She called the school that I am working with and spoke to the principal now she wants me to MAKE SURE (Yes she bascally yelled that) that she is allowed to "check up" on her grandson.

I see it more as check up on me and so on...She never called his other school, didnt even ask to see the report card but since I am doing something different now she wants to be "in the know"

Am I just being too sensitive???

Yes there are spelling errors...my 8 year old as gone back to not sleeping much so I am exhausted!

Sorry should have said...no the school did not tell her anything the principal said that he couldn't release any info to a non custodial family member. She just doesn't agree with homeschool she cant get the "typical" homeschooling out of her head.

by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 2:04 AM
Replies (31-39):
usmom3
by BJ on Nov. 19, 2013 at 4:16 PM

 OH I would be livid! She would be put in her place so fast her head would spin!

snowangel1979
by Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 4:29 PM
I would be beond livid. Not only is that just wrong, she went behind your back, and she's questioning your ability to parent. She clearly lacks boundaries, trust and knowing her place.

I would tell her the only thing I'm going to MAKE SURE of is that untill she learns her place and boundaries and stops being toxic, is that I will MAKE SURE she's not involved in MY CHILD's life.
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kirbymom
by Sonja on Nov. 19, 2013 at 6:22 PM
1 mom liked this
That would not make me feel happy at all. Your mom should not call or make inquiries to anyone other than you about your decisions regarding your family. This isn't about hiding or not hiding or someone's opinions regarding your decisions. Not unless there is reasonable doubt that there is physical harm or intent to harm. Period. Other than that, it is no one's business what you say or do. Period. Whatever decision you make about your mom, do not let anyone push you around.
So sorry that you have to Deal with a situation like this in the first place.
tuffymama
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:28 PM
1 mom liked this
My mom has Histrionic Personality Disorder, and you never saw a doc fired so fast as the one who delivered that cherry to her LOL. You have my sincere sympathy! I say cut her off. You don't have to use a cutoff maliciously; quite the opposite, in fact. I reached the decision to cut off my mother twice in my life after her fits, meddling, threats, and destruction caused me and my family more pain and heartache than I could EVER justify, no matter how much I need and want a mom. Your mother is threatening the peace and wellbeing of your family in general, and your mental health and your child's welfare in particular. Cut her off. Do it kindly, but do it in no uncertain terms. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO JUSTIFY THE CUTOFF. A cutoff is not an ultimatum or a punishment. A cutoff is about protecting you and yours, giving you a breather to recover and THINK, and to *hopefully* give the subject of the cutoff time to reconsider his/her prior actions. A cutoff is a big deal, and not something you wave around like a magic wand or a nasty threat. Think about it. There are boards full of practical, sensible people who can help advise you on keeping your head and performing a cutoff in the proper spirit. One big caveat: if she is the drama queen type who will escalate and make irrational decisions, create a scene in front of or TAKE your child, or possibly stalk or hurt you (or herself) if she is cut off, please PLEASE for the love of all that you hold dear, see a therapist who can help you with this specific family dynamic. It is less uncommon than most of us think, sadly.
Ecoseem
by Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 10:57 PM

I agree that you're definately not overreacting. 

How much could someone "just want what's best" when they are not mature enough to understand boundaries? 


ladyofnight
by Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 1:49 AM

What exactly is the "typical" homeschooling? My kids (ages 6 and 8) have sit down assignments to do. worksheets and everything. We also do explinations, help them with the first part of their lessons and then let them work independantly, but they work together all the time on science and social studies. Which in my area are 2 subjects not even introduced until about 4th grade. My mom helps me with their homeschooling as she is way more organized than I am, but when it comes to Science and Social studies, those are my subjects to teach and we work together and take turns with Language Arts, Spelling, and Math. 

I honestly don't know what the whole "Typical homeschooling is" is it like they don't learn anything accedemic and only learn through hands on? Or that they don't go to school for 8 hours a day? That just confuses me. 

ablackdolphin
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 8:28 AM
I would probably put her in her place with a threat of restraining order!
JATomlinson
by on Nov. 22, 2013 at 4:39 PM

That is violating.  My family doesn't agree with homeschooling in general but they don't try to tell me not to do it.  Send her this article, The Truth About Homeschool http://lioncubschool.blogspot.com/p/about-home-schooling.html

Tell her that ivy leauge colleges like Harvard, Duke, and MIT actively seek out home schooled children and that you want the best for your child, and that you are following all home schooling laws in your state.  Tell her you feel like what she did was unloving and disrespectful and you won't stand for it.  Tell her that you love her and respect her opinion, but that this is your child and your decision and it's not for her to question or undermine, even if she has loving intentions while doing so.  (Be nice about it to her I mean, you don't want to alienate her and get other family mad at you).

I often have to explain my decision to homeschool to family and friends who think public school is better, who think I am over protecting and isolating my child or doing her wrong by home schooling, they think I will not teach her as well or something, I just don't know.  Fact is, I had her reading at 3, now she's in Kindergarten and reading well and doing math that's well above Kindergarten level like fractions and evens and odds etc.

Don't let her spook you.  Stand your ground and let her know it's not for her to decide.  If she insists that she has a 'right' to know or be involved, tell her that she would be deeply offended if people had tried to tell her the 'right' way to raise her children.  Also, you may be able to quell her fears that you're doing wrong by your kid by inviting her to sit in on 1 or 2 home schooling days.  If you do invite her, tell her it will be a one time type of thing and that she's not to interfere with the day in any sort of way.

I have a story that is sort of related.  When I worked at a private Christian school, these parents put their kid into it and she was loving it, but the grandma thought it was the absolute 100% wrong choice and they were going to somehow brainwash or damage her precious granddaughter, so she insisted on going to class each and every day with her grandaughter.  This went on for months before she stopped and it drove the teacher's crazy because the woman went into it with the mindset that it was all wrong and she was going to prove that somehow even though it's not her choice.

Maybe your mom is just missing raising kids and wants to be a bigger part of her grandchild's life?

Ok, that's all the insight I have on this for today (be it good or bad I know not).

Howardx5
by on Nov. 22, 2013 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this

I dont take well to anyone invaiding my privacy or rights as a parent. If my parents want to know how things are going, they can ask ME. I don't think you are being too sensitive. I would be very upset too! 

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