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help with 7 year old, again :)

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2013 at 10:57 PM
  • 36 Replies
1 mom liked this
So, i mentioned that I suspect spd for my 7 year old son.
Well, lately he has been acting up. Almost adhd, hopefully not! He has had no self control (worse than his younget brothers), keeps spitting, it has become more like a habit, does this crazy dance like movement (like he has too much energy and nowhere to put it). I know pary of it os because its been raining and hard to get everyone out with no car (i dont want to take the baby in the rain, and he had a cough). So there's that, but there has also been him getting furious with me. Last night he got mad because his little brother didnt give him a cookie he should have shared. So, he was furious with me over it. He said i should have given it to him, but i did ask him if.he got a cookie. He said yes, but i guess he didnt listen to the question. Anyways, he kept giving me this face (if it was a cartoon hos whole face would be red and steam coming from his ears), and then he said "i hate you", "yoi dont love me" and "Im stupid". This lasted for about 30min-an hour. Finally he calmed down to talk ot through. Then it happened again today because i had to take him home from his Aunts house and he was mad. He said hes never coming home and isnt apart of my family anymore, along with the three other things he said last night.

So, Im wondering, should I be concerned? Is this normal for a 7 year old? Why does he always take it out on me?
by on Nov. 24, 2013 at 10:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 11:16 PM
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 Do you give him food with red dyes? My dd did that before we figured out that she has a reaction to the dyes.

Precious333
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 11:21 PM
I'm trying to think, you know, he may have had some in his trick or treat candy! He has purple nerds on thursday or friday! I never buy that junk, so it could be it!

Quoting debramommyof4: Do you give him food with red dyes? My dd did that before we figured out that she has a reaction to the dyes.
debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 11:30 PM

 That may be it.  Everytime we slip and let her have anything that has dyes, we feel the repercussions for several days.

Quoting Precious333:

I'm trying to think, you know, he may have had some in his trick or treat candy! He has purple nerds on thursday or friday! I never buy that junk, so it could be it!

Quoting debramommyof4: Do you give him food with red dyes? My dd did that before we figured out that she has a reaction to the dyes.

 

Bleacher-mom
by Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 3:39 AM

Sounds like he could be pushing you, testing the limits. You need to stand your ground. One thing that we do is rather than neccessarly punishing, like taking away T.V. time etc, is they have to earn their rewards, doing schoolwork, doing their chores and having a good behavior. If they don't, then they don't get their rewards.

Another thing to try is spending time working on his behavior. Like roleplaying. My kids used to have a bad habit with getting upset any time we went to leave their grandparent's or friends house or even when I told them it was time to come in.

What I did was expained to them how important it is to listen to me and obey. Then I told them how I expect them to act when we go to leave somewhere or I tell them it's time to come in. Then we would go outside. I would give them a couple of minutes to get into playing, then I would tell them to come in. If they had an attituded, I explained it to them all over again. Then I repeat letting them play for a couple of minutes and then telling them to come in several time. It's all about teaching them a new habit.

Precious333
by Silver Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:50 AM
We have been has counrless conveesations, and he kmows.he.canr get special rewards withour finishing his work wirh a goos attutude.Part of it is he has an expectation,and if it goes differently he doesnt handle that wrll,and he blames me.


Quoting Bleacher-mom:

Sounds like he could be pushing you, testing the limits. You need to stand your ground. One thing that we do is rather than neccessarly punishing, like taking away T.V. time etc, is they have to earn their rewards, doing schoolwork, doing their chores and having a good behavior. If they don't, then they don't get their rewards.

Another thing to try is spending time working on his behavior. Like roleplaying. My kids used to have a bad habit with getting upset any time we went to leave their grandparent's or friends house or even when I told them it was time to come in.

What I did was expained to them how important it is to listen to me and obey. Then I told them how I expect them to act when we go to leave somewhere or I tell them it's time to come in. Then we would go outside. I would give them a couple of minutes to get into playing, then I would tell them to come in. If they had an attituded, I explained it to them all over again. Then I repeat letting them play for a couple of minutes and then telling them to come in several time. It's all about teaching them a new habit.


hwblyf
by Bronze Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 11:01 AM

I have a son with sensory issues, and he is by far my most challenging.  The other kids pick up his ways, but it's an imitation, so their whole being isn't into it the way he is.  He's almost 11 now, and it's getting much better.  If he can cool off and come back and talk with you, that's what we allow.  G gets very frustrated, much less these days, but HUGE when he was 7ish.  Pretty much like what you're saying.  VERY hard not to react.   But letting him walk away, letting him regulate himself, even if it was avoiding the situation for a bit, was good for us all.  Then we talk about how his emotions are ok, his reaction was not.  And I try to give him words for it.  Yes, I know you're frustrated, it's upsetting that this happened when you thought that should have happened.  All that good stuff.  And it can take years.  But he's learning, he really is.  This may be your kiddo's area of need.  Just like you wouldn't punish and scold a child who is having a hard time with an academic area, that won't work with a social area, either.  Yup, don't allow the disrespect, stand up for yourself, but keep plugging away at his learning.

Precious333
by Silver Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 11:07 AM
Thanks for your encouragement! Dh and i just decided to do a "no yelling jar", so hopefully that will help us all. Dh is not happy about his unkind and disrespectful.words toward me, and she he punish him for it. Im not sure how i feel about that. In one sense i do want him tk respect me and know its not ok to behave that way, but i want him to be able to feel comfortable talking to me. I rather have him talk than hide his feelings.


Quoting hwblyf:

I have a son with sensory issues, and he is by far my most challenging.  The other kids pick up his ways, but it's an imitation, so their whole being isn't into it the way he is.  He's almost 11 now, and it's getting much better.  If he can cool off and come back and talk with you, that's what we allow.  G gets very frustrated, much less these days, but HUGE when he was 7ish.  Pretty much like what you're saying.  VERY hard not to react.   But letting him walk away, letting him regulate himself, even if it was avoiding the situation for a bit, was good for us all.  Then we talk about how his emotions are ok, his reaction was not.  And I try to give him words for it.  Yes, I know you're frustrated, it's upsetting that this happened when you thought that should have happened.  All that good stuff.  And it can take years.  But he's learning, he really is.  This may be your kiddo's area of need.  Just like you wouldn't punish and scold a child who is having a hard time with an academic area, that won't work with a social area, either.  Yup, don't allow the disrespect, stand up for yourself, but keep plugging away at his learning.


PurpleCupcake
by Cynthia on Nov. 25, 2013 at 11:08 AM

If my 7 year old did this I would be VERY concerned. My first trip would be to take him to the doc to have him evaluated. They have meds that can help.

Think of it this way, these outbursts are a symptom not the problem. 

Precious333
by Silver Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 11:10 AM
We have talked to the doctor and she gave me a number to get him evaluated. I am not the only one concerned about his overall behavoir.


Quoting PurpleCupcake:

If my 7 year old did this I would be VERY concerned. My first trip would be to take him to the doc to have him evaluated. They have meds that can help.

Think of it this way, these outbursts are a symptom not the problem. 


PurpleCupcake
by Cynthia on Nov. 25, 2013 at 11:14 AM

That's awesome, get him evaluated. I think it will help a lot. I had my son evaluated and it was so nice to have the whole picture. 

Also, keep a journal of the outbursts. What happened before, what caused it, what happened, what happened after...everything.

Quoting Precious333:

We have talked to the doctor and she gave me a number to get him evaluated. I am not the only one concerned about his overall behavoir.


Quoting PurpleCupcake:

If my 7 year old did this I would be VERY concerned. My first trip would be to take him to the doc to have him evaluated. They have meds that can help.

Think of it this way, these outbursts are a symptom not the problem. 






     

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