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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms
I have homeschooled about 18 months. I just am so tired at night after homeschool cooking cleaning and everything else that I am tire at night. My husband wants to be intimate and I want peace and quiet. He will get upset but understands I'm tired I suggested we make nights that we know we will be intimate but he says that will tak out the spur of the moment fun. Is my suggestion off the wall? Not that I am scheduling it but we both know the night will be having sex or we won't.
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 11:41 PM
Replies (21-30):
paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 11:11 AM

This is a great idea!

Quoting debramommyof4:

How about you plan them and then surprise him then it is spur of the moment to him.

My husband understands but I still give in even when I do not feel like it sometimes because he starts to feel undesirable. I do not want that so I fake it till I get there. If that makes sense.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Nora.83
by on Nov. 29, 2013 at 1:29 PM
He's 9 months and I'm still breast feeding . I hope I will have a sexdrive soon but I worry with homeschooling cooking cleaning a baby laundry. I'm just so WORN out and sex is not a priority


Quoting usmom3:

 That is very normal, how old is your youngest? It can take a long time to want to be sexual again after a baby, especially if you are afraid of getting pregnant again to soon! Not saying that you are but I have known many that when they really looked deep down their lack of interest was really a subconscious fear of getting pregnant!


Quoting Nora.83:

He does help and provides so well for us an has a stressful job. I'm just tired I think and my hormones have nt been regulated since the birth if my last one I don't think I have much of a sex drive right now

 


Nora.83
by on Nov. 29, 2013 at 1:31 PM
We do hbe the opposite problem lol
My dh would have sex everynight worn out or not and I just don't care to but hoping that will change


Quoting paganbaby:

I have the opposite problem :-( Dh has never been in the mood at night. Only first thing in the morning when the kids are up (we have no privacy since our bedroom walls are made of curtains and when we do sex has to be very quick and quiet. Ugh.) But this last month he hasn't been in the mood AT ALL. Before that he would ask once a week or so in a very annoying way that would turn me off. Don't ask me, "You wanna do it?" Don't grab my hand and show me how happy you are. Brush your teeth and just kiss me!  But noooo... I swear I think he does it on purpose to avoid sex. 

Sorry about that rant.


jjchick75
by Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 2:35 PM
It's pretty common for women who are breastfeeding to have a low sex drive. Sex usually only happens on the weekend for us. We are both exhausted at night and are out as soon as we crawl into bed lol. Good luck. Hope you can get things figured out!


Quoting Nora.83:

He's 9 months and I'm still breast feeding . I hope I will have a sexdrive soon but I worry with homeschooling cooking cleaning a baby laundry. I'm just so WORN out and sex is not a priority




Quoting usmom3:

 That is very normal, how old is your youngest? It can take a long time to want to be sexual again after a baby, especially if you are afraid of getting pregnant again to soon! Not saying that you are but I have known many that when they really looked deep down their lack of interest was really a subconscious fear of getting pregnant!



Quoting Nora.83:

He does help and provides so well for us an has a stressful job. I'm just tired I think and my hormones have nt been regulated since the birth if my last one I don't think I have much of a sex drive right now


 



romacox
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 3:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I found this article the other day that gives some ideas about how to make homeschooling easier.  She is a home school mom that was also homeschooled The Lazy Girls Guide To Home Education

Molimomma
by Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 3:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Quoting Nora.83:

Having sex and being intimate is the last thing I want at night after a long day but I'm trying to change this .

Right there with you! I feel guilty A LOT about this but honestly at night all I want to do is go to sleep and I HATE how I am when I'm overtired(grumpy and lacking patience) so I really make a point to get enough sleep. DS is turning 4, has some major sensory issues and is high energy so he wears me out. When I phased out his nap a few months ago I wanted to cry the first week or so I was so tired. It's getting better now but between homeschooling, potty training, and just life in general some days all I want is peace and quiet and to be left alone! DH has a terrible schedule and is hardly ever home so everything falls on me and I do me everything, between actual exhaustion and the stress of it all my desire went to zero. DH and I have talked about this from time to time and some weeks it is great and some weeks it is not but that's life everything has a season. Just know you are not alone in feeling this way and also it is good that you at least want to make the effort to change it!
Nora.83
by on Nov. 30, 2013 at 2:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Good to know I'm not the only one wiped out with kids homeschooling and sex lols


Quoting Molimomma:



Quoting Nora.83:

Having sex and being intimate is the last thing I want at night after a long day but I'm trying to change this .



Right there with you! I feel guilty A LOT about this but honestly at night all I want to do is go to sleep and I HATE how I am when I'm overtired(grumpy and lacking patience) so I really make a point to get enough sleep. DS is turning 4, has some major sensory issues and is high energy so he wears me out. When I phased out his nap a few months ago I wanted to cry the first week or so I was so tired. It's getting better now but between homeschooling, potty training, and just life in general some days all I want is peace and quiet and to be left alone! DH has a terrible schedule and is hardly ever home so everything falls on me and I do me everything, between actual exhaustion and the stress of it all my desire went to zero. DH and I have talked about this from time to time and some weeks it is great and some weeks it is not but that's life everything has a season. Just know you are not alone in feeling this way and also it is good that you at least want to make the effort to change it!

Countess79
by Member on Nov. 30, 2013 at 7:32 PM
1 mom liked this

I will be honest with you.. 

If it comes down to it.. I am positive your hubby would tolerate a less than perfectly clean house.. and get some nookie..

A man who isn't satisfied... will roam .. So it's your choice.. either you put out.. or he will look for someone who will..

I don't mean to be mean.. I just learned this lesson the HARD WAY!

kirbymom
by Sonja on Nov. 30, 2013 at 9:38 PM
Ah sweetheart. You are certainly not alone in regards to this issue. Many women are/were/will be affected by these emotional and physical and hormonal driven feelings and thoughts. I, myself, have been through this through 7 kids. It was, as we found out, that my problem was a combination of things, such as lack of vitamins, lack of estrogen, lack of sleep, lack of desire, lack of time. Once thus was determined to be the case, I was able to work on a plan to help put me back on track. When it came to being tired, and having a lack of desire, I knew I would have to get creative. For instance, I would "tell" hubby that tonight was the might. BUT, I would give him light kisses or shuttle hugs, come hither looks, as much as possible when he was around. THAT was spontaneous. Hubby didn't figure on those things happening. I would also write him little love notes in places I knew he had to look in. These were just small gestures but they helped. Add this to getting some vitamins and minerals and I was beginning to feel a but better.
I'm sure that as long as you show that you are putting forth effort, your hubby will understand.
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*

P.S.
Lots of great advice above me. :)
KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Dec. 1, 2013 at 11:52 PM

I think I'd find ways of making your home-education a little easier if it's wearing you out so much that you want to schedule when you have sex.

Maybe your expectations are set too high and you are burning out.   Maybe the kid(s) need to chip in a little more around the house.    Maybe you can take advantage of free reading, netflix documentaries, etc.   I even have had a day recently where I told the kids.   YOU decide what you do today for your education.   I'm taking a break.   However, the rule is that you must explain why it's educational and I will "approve" it.


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