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This is our first year homeschooling. I have a 7-year-old and a 2-year-old.

I'm really, really struggling. Everything is a battle with my big girl. Today, we tried to make dreamcatchers to go with our Native American theme. She lost her mind because it was too hard - but she was doing it well! She threw it on the floor and went storming off in tears.

She refuses to write anything, and has this same kind of reaction. Drawing, as well. She wants me to do everything FOR her.

I'm at a loss. Help?
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by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 2:34 PM
Replies (11-12):
by Group Admin on Dec. 4, 2013 at 9:44 PM
When my kids went through this I praised them and when they got things wrong I kept reminding them they did their best and that I was proud of them for doing their best.

They did try me by doing badly on things I knew that they knew. I still praised them and said they could try again later if they liked. After a month of this they calmed down and settled.

Quoting QueenAtargatis: You're very right. She NEEDS reassurance all the time. She's the kind of kid that wants to be the best, and to prove she can do anything anyone else does. She genuinely appreciates compliments and praise.

In this instance, we were working on them for at least an hour. Perhaps you're right - shorter time increments. We typically only spend 15-20 minutes on activities, but I really thought this would be a fun and easy going activity. Hmm...

Quoting debramommyof4: I would say lots and lots of praise is in order and maybe only work for 5 or 10 min. At a time on something so that it does not become overwhelming to her.
by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 12:25 PM

Yes, I tutor children who are struggling. Sometimes it is just a small thing that is confusing them. But they often begin to feel like something is wrong with them. Once they get that idea, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

What usually starts this feeling of "something is wrong with me, I can't learn like the other kids, I am dumb, I can't read" attitude, can be one simple missing link, learning their phonic sounds incorrectly, a learning style different from the "one size fits all approach" used in the public school system.ext.

If they are still young, it is fairly simple to correct by finding and correcting the thing that started their feelings of inadequacy, and assuring them that nothing is wrong with them. But with older children, it can can require more patience, because they have often developed coping mechanisms (being the class clown, avoiding situations that they struggle with, ext.)

Hands on learners (and analytical children) often get the idea that they are "dumb", because the school system does not teach to these children's learning styles.

Quoting QueenAtargatis: Can you explain the self doubt/public school thought? I'm feeling like that might be part of what's going on here. =/

Quoting romacox:

because you are physically involving her in the learning process, I am not suspecting a learning style.  But, if she was in the public school system, it could be self doubt as mem82 suggested.

If she has not yet developed her eye hand coordination, give her coloring activities encouraging her to stay within the lines. 

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