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OT: 15 Reasons I’m Glad I Don’t Do Santa

15 Reasons I’m Glad I Don’t Do Santa

by Cynthia Dermody 

I love Christmas and all the Christmas traditions — I love practically everything about the season — except for one itsy-bitsy complication: I’m Jewish. As much fun as dreidels and a well-lit menorah may be, they just can’t compete with an entire culture that goes Christmas-crazy every year.

But there’s one big Christmas tradition that always makes me glad I’m Jewish: I don’t have to do the Santa thing. Here’s why I’m glad for that …

1. I get credit for shopping. It takes a significant amount of time and expertise, even if you do it all on Amazon.

2. I get credit for buying. Look, kids, those gifts cost money. Mommy’s not letting a bunch of elves get all the glory while she spends her hard-earned cash.

3. I get credit for wrapping. You think it’s easy to wrap a basketball? It’s not. But I did it, so RESPECT, bitches.

4. No lugging my kids to the mall to make them sit on the lap of a strange man. Weirdest tradition ever, Gentiles.

5. No expensive wish lists. Yes, technically Santa’s elves could make you a giant flatscreen TV just as easily as they could make you an iPod, but they won’t, and I don’t have to justify the reason why.

6. No letters to Santa. Mail carriers are busy enough this time of year to have to deal with a bunch of letters with fake North Pole addresses on them. We’re practically saying, “Here, U.S. Postal Service. Throw these away for us.”

7. No Santa stalking. You know what I don’t want to do on Christmas Eve? Spend it obsessively checking a website or a Santa-tracking app to see if the sleigh has made it to our area.

8. No Santa suit for my husband. Trust me: No one looks good in that much red fabric. And, no, I won’t sit in your lap either.

9. No fake reindeer crap. Any tradition that involves fooling kids with excrement is a tradition I’m glad isn’t mine.

10. No cookies on a plate to feed an already overweight man. Our kids’ biggest hero is expected to eat cookies at every stop and still shove his fat ass down a chimney. No wonder obesity is such a problem these days.

11. No carrots or glittery food for the reindeer. God forbid Comet and Prancer get left out at snacktime.

12. No messy ashes tracked around the fireplace as evidence. If Santa can deliver to eleventy-billion homes in a single night, he can clean up after himself.

13. No whining on Christmas Day. Because they got up and Santa couldn’t find forgot to bring one of the 15 items on their wish list.

14. No sadness when the truth comes out. Yes, kids, Mommy has been lying to you all these years about an imaginary fat man who bends the laws of space and time while wearing a fluffy red suit. Stop crying. All the other parents are doing it.

15. My kids behave out of love and respect … not because of a naughty and nice list. No, I’m serious. They DO. Quit rolling your eyes, dammit.

Do your kids believe in Santa?

Are you glad your kids don't believe in Santa?

by on Dec. 23, 2013 at 8:57 AM
Replies (31-40):
TidewaterClan
by on Dec. 23, 2013 at 10:57 PM
1 mom liked this

Be good little children. The Elf is watching you . . . 

Just joking but I agree. He looks to creepily happy. 

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I allowed my kids to believe in Santa just as long as they wanted. When they didn't want to anymore that was fine too.

My parents told me, due to their religion that there was no Santa and I felt that was pretty cruel to me. So I allowed my kids to believe without pushing it.

And btw, I think Elf on a Shelve is messy and creepy. LOL


Chasing3
by Bronze Member on Dec. 24, 2013 at 8:52 AM

my kids are starting to figure out it's mom and dad. But since they were really little, we bought gifts for the needy, and they'd ask why Santa didn't bring presents to the poor kids? I answered, "Santa sends mom and dad the bill for all the gifts." That solved it indefinately as to why they didn't get everything they asked for!

KickButtMama
by Shannon on Dec. 24, 2013 at 9:00 AM

I agree with a lot of he he PP's, I don't care about getting credit. The only complication over the years is my kids expensive tastes, they are techies like me. So they want the latest and greatest....this year my youngest wanted a $265 iPod touch, and my eldest wanted a $199 3ds XL, oh and not to mention the electric guitar (w/amp of course), etc....so since there's no way we could afford such expensive items, we tend to do a community gift under the tree - something everyone in the family has pitched in to buy - grandparents, cousins, etc, so no one ends up spending more than $25. So they tend to get one or 2 small presents from Santa...since Santa doesn't give tech items..lol..


RheaF
by Member on Dec. 24, 2013 at 9:03 AM
1 mom liked this

 It is kinda creepy, but the kids love it,lol.

Ours does not make messes though, I think "she" is a little too OCD for that. We have friends that go WAY over board...like the elf brings the kids gifts. Ours just moves from place to place....maybe it colors or leaves a note or something...but no messes,lol.

Quoting TidewaterClan:

Be good little children. The Elf is watching you . . . 

Just joking but I agree. He looks to creepily happy. 

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I allowed my kids to believe in Santa just as long as they wanted. When they didn't want to anymore that was fine too.

My parents told me, due to their religion that there was no Santa and I felt that was pretty cruel to me. So I allowed my kids to believe without pushing it.

And btw, I think Elf on a Shelve is messy and creepy. LOL


 

TidewaterClan
by on Dec. 24, 2013 at 10:22 AM
We have a stuffed one and he's cute. I think the skinny ones remind me to much of that gingerbread man (I think they're made by the same company). :)

Yours sounds like she has things under control. Ours just hangs out. I never heard of one that brought the presents - all the presents or just a special one?


Quoting RheaF:

 It is kinda creepy, but the kids love it,lol.


Ours does not make messes though, I think "she" is a little too OCD for that. We have friends that go WAY over board...like the elf brings the kids gifts. Ours just moves from place to place....maybe it colors or leaves a note or something...but no messes,lol.


Quoting TidewaterClan:

Be good little children. The Elf is watching you . . . 


Just joking but I agree. He looks to creepily happy. 


Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I allowed my kids to believe in Santa just as long as they wanted. When they didn't want to anymore that was fine too.


My parents told me, due to their religion that there was no Santa and I felt that was pretty cruel to me. So I allowed my kids to believe without pushing it.


And btw, I think Elf on a Shelve is messy and creepy. LOL




 

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Dec. 24, 2013 at 11:57 AM

The only thing my dd got for Christmas from us this year is an Ipod touch. It took months of saving! She was little bummed that her brother and sister got more but I just told her, their gifts combined don't equal what I spent on you.

Quoting KickButtMama:

I agree with a lot of he he PP's, I don't care about getting credit. The only complication over the years is my kids expensive tastes, they are techies like me. So they want the latest and greatest....this year my youngest wanted a $265 iPod touch, and my eldest wanted a $199 3ds XL, oh and not to mention the electric guitar (w/amp of course), etc....so since there's no way we could afford such expensive items, we tend to do a community gift under the tree - something everyone in the family has pitched in to buy - grandparents, cousins, etc, so no one ends up spending more than $25. So they tend to get one or 2 small presents from Santa...since Santa doesn't give tech items..lol..



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penguingirl
by New Member on Dec. 24, 2013 at 4:31 PM

My neighbor is the area Santa. My kids think its cool that he knows their names and things about them. We don't do anything elaborate except make cookies on Christmas eve for Santa. Both my husband and I are creeped out about the idea of Elf on a Shelf. We both are creeped out knowing our neighbor has one (we live in a duplex). lol

MaryJarrett
by Member on Dec. 24, 2013 at 4:40 PM
1 mom liked this
We don't do Santa but we also don't do "From:" labels on gifts. It's not about who gave who what.

I still lug my kids to the mall to shop. They can sit on Santa's lap if *they* want to. They know who he portrays. We treat him like you would a character at Disney world. Yes mickey is fake, but you can take a picture with his likeness, sort of deal.

I didn't know people made messes and put out reindeer food... a lot of what's listed is new to me. Interesting traditions.
Knightquester
by on Dec. 24, 2013 at 10:18 PM
3 moms liked this

Wow, I've read a lot of negative articles on Santa, god and other things "Christmas" like on Cafemom this holiday season, but this is a first when it comes to the Santa ones.

So here's the issue I have with anybody that celebrates the holiday who is negative towards somebody who celebrates differently than themselves.  It is "assumed" (big mistake IMO) that if a person celebrates the holiday they celebrate one set way, either religiously, or including Santa the way that people picture them to, it's as if there is no deviation in their mind, and the amount of ignorance and stupidity that comes with this way of thinking is astounding (to say the least).

We're neither religious, nor do we believe in Santa, but we don't wipe them out of the holiday entirely.  We don't actually put who any present is from, we don't talk about god, Santa and I have never ever had whining on the holiday.  I don't have children that think they have to behave due to some higher power or old holiday induced icon.

We do listen to the stories, watch the movies, read the books, listen to the music and play along with the holiday spirit.  Only one child has asked if Santa were real, my response before answering is "does it matter", I then countered with a question of what their favorite part of Christmas is.  My kids really could care less about presents, in fact we've had years where they literally have gotten nothing, and guess what they didn't complain at all, in fact they said it was one of their best Christmas' ever.  If I were to not do a real tree, some of our traditional stuff that we do as a family to make our Christmas special to "us" then I know they would be sad, and they've said as much.  They would not throw a fit or whine, but they enjoy some of the things we do as a family around the holidays to make them brighter.

I guess my point is no matter "how" you celebrate, or what you throw into your holiday to make it fit your families traditions, it should be something understood and respected by most that your way is what works for you and your family, even if it's not what they would do.  Sad really that this article even was written, but then again it's not the first sad one written this holiday on this site.

Personally I hope everybody has a wonderful holiday season, regardless of your beliefs or how you celebrate this season.

iluvcallalilies
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:48 PM

To be honest, I feel like the decision whether or not to "do Santa" was made for us in our family. I grew up with Santa before my dad was saved, then no Santa. Over the years, my parents decided Santa was a pagan tradition and distraction from Jesus and the vocal opposition to Santa became stronger and stronger as I grew up (hurtful at times to extended family - I now empathize with them). When our oldest was born, my brother immediately pipes up with Santa is Satan with the letters out of order, etc - and it all began. So, DH and I decided to simply tell our kids from the get-go that we pretend to be Santa on Christmas and surprise them with gifts. They wake to stockings and presents on Christmas morning and know that it is from us pretending. They also know that they aren't to share with other kids. They also know the truth of Jesus and His Love. Having watched the Santa controversy play out for decades (actual DECADES) in homeschool circles, it breaks my heart that something so trivial is so divisive and used so judgementally. I do not know any adults who have rejected Christ because of Santa as a child. I do know of HUNDREDS who have rejected Christ because their parents used legalism as a judgemental weapon when they were growing up. So, DH and I try to be very careful in choosing "which hills to die on" and lay a firm foundation on Jesus, remembering the main things are the plain things and trying not to allow trivial things to tear apart faith.

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