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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Why and when did you decide to home school?

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2014 at 2:47 PM
  • 31 Replies

My son is 7. He is brilliant. he HATES the demands of school. Its loud, chaotic, and the social piece is too much for him. 

How did you come to the decision to homeschool? 

How hard is it? 

This may sound bad... But how do you get a break from your kids when youre home with them ALL the time? 

I love the 6 hours my son is at school. Since he hates shopping, the gym, the mall, errands.. i do ALL that then. 

Forgive my ignorance in this subject, and Im hoping Im not offending anyone. 

I bought a house in one of the best school districts in NY. Im kinda sad he doesnt like it. 

by on Jan. 6, 2014 at 2:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 3:00 PM
4 moms liked this

When my eldest was in the fourth grade and the school suspected dyslexia but didn't offer any services specifically for it - they didn't consider it a "special need".

Since pulling that child out, I've done more research, and with the implementation of Common Core Standards, I'm more concerned than ever about the state of the nation's education system. To add to my horror, the Catholic schools are followig suit.

Our eldest (who was pulled out in grade 4) is currently attending a private school for bright/gifted dyslexic children. It only goes to grade 8 and then we plan on homeschooling her again. I am currently homeschooling DS4 and we have a toddler at home as well, who will eventually be homeschooled.

Yes, it's hard. Most things in life worth doing or having aren't easy.

Time to myself? I ask my husband to take the children for a bit, or we hire a sitter and go out.

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee















bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 3:23 PM
2 moms liked this


Why and when did you decide to home school?

We decided to homeschool 3 years ago.  My oldest had a lot of issues in the local public school.  He was picked on for his lunches, he was ahead and bored, he was in trouble for talking because he was ahead and bored.  It led me to pull him mid-year and bring him home to school.

How did you come to the decision to homeschool? 

It took a lot of thought.  I read up on our homeschool laws.  I chose to fully homeschool first, but then I was so worried about the evaluations in our state.  I gave myself an ulcer, LOL!  So then we did K12 for half of the next school year.  But K12 was like the PS because it didn't allow us to move with the speed of the kids.

How hard is it? 

That one is hard to say.  I would say it depends on how much you put into it!  You can choose an all-in-one curriculum (That's a complete guide to lessons and order) that also has a near script for the parent to read (that's nearly all of your planning).  OR you can make all of your own curriculum, tests, subjects, everything.  Or anything in between.  It all depends on how much you want pre-done for you and what works best for your family.

This may sound bad... But how do you get a break from your kids when youre home with them ALL the time? 

Really, it does NOT sound bad at all.  It can be difficult sometimes!  I have a "flat on bed time."  They can read, write, play with very quiet toys.  But they must stay in their bunks for an hour.  Usually my youngest still falls asleep.  But the others have begun to enjoy the quiet time to read and think.  And I get an hour to read and think too!


jen2150
by Silver Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 3:39 PM
2 moms liked this
When my oldest was 2 we started thinking about schools. It was either private or homeschooling. I started thinking back to all the gaps in my education and how I struggled. My husband was gifted but was loaded down With unnecessary work. I wanted to keep their curiosity going and decided homeschooling was the easiest way and I wanted them to have more freedom than I had in school.

I have time for myself because I make the time. My sons attend weekly co-ops where I am able to have time to myself. I also joined a gym with daycare. It helped immensely. Also I taught my kids to be independent. It is good for kids to know how to entertain themselves. Homeschooling is not hard but it is very time consuming. It is basically a full time job and sometimes more. It was the best decision I have ever made. It is not for everyone.
SamMom912
by Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 4:00 PM

My hubby works in NYC (about an hour commute) and leaves at 5am and gets home at 7pm. So hubby is NOT an option. Lol. I also have no family close by. So I have concerns in that dept. 

I also agree that life is hard and hard work is expected.. Im more concerned about the difficulty of following the curriculum so the learn what they need for the future and to meet requirements.i dont want his homeschooling to be "less" then the district we bought in to provide our children with a great education. 98 percent of of HS grads go on to college with 15 percent in Ivy schools. its good here. Im worried about "letting him down". 

I have a masters in Fine Arts. math and Science were not my forte. LOL.. 

Quoting AutymsMommy:

When my eldest was in the fourth grade and the school suspected dyslexia but didn't offer any services specifically for it - they didn't consider it a "special need".

Since pulling that child out, I've done more research, and with the implementation of Common Core Standards, I'm more concerned than ever about the state of the nation's education system. To add to my horror, the Catholic schools are followig suit.

Our eldest (who was pulled out in grade 4) is currently attending a private school for bright/gifted dyslexic children. It only goes to grade 8 and then we plan on homeschooling her again. I am currently homeschooling DS4 and we have a toddler at home as well, who will eventually be homeschooled.

Yes, it's hard. Most things in life worth doing or having aren't easy.

Time to myself? I ask my husband to take the children for a bit, or we hire a sitter and go out.


SamMom912
by Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 4:01 PM

Our daycare at my gym is only for kids under 5 before 2pm.. Since the majority of kids go to school here since our districts are good. 

Im really struggling with this because I really think Homeschooling would be good for him, but bad for me. LOL

Quoting jen2150: When my oldest was 2 we started thinking about schools. It was either private or homeschooling. I started thinking back to all the gaps in my education and how I struggled. My husband was gifted but was loaded down With unnecessary work. I wanted to keep their curiosity going and decided homeschooling was the easiest way and I wanted them to have more freedom than I had in school.

I have time for myself because I make the time. My sons attend weekly co-ops where I am able to have time to myself. I also joined a gym with daycare. It helped immensely. Also I taught my kids to be independent. It is good for kids to know how to entertain themselves. Homeschooling is not hard but it is very time consuming. It is basically a full time job and sometimes more. It was the best decision I have ever made. It is not for everyone.


Chasing3
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 4:12 PM
2 moms liked this

hmmm... we bought a house in "one of the best school districts" in our area too. Along wiht high test scores, comes insane pressure and angry teachers that are too demanding and try to diagnose normal, active kids with adhd and guilt the parents into taking blame for them being neurologically impaired, instead of looking at inappropriate curricula and developemntally inappropriate classrrom behavior expectations!

I decided to homeschool half way through last year after the constant calls, emails and complaints from the school sent me and my son to a therapist to be treated for anxiety.

Essentially, this quote (along with lots of other reading up on alternative education, best practices in education and how standardized testing and standardized curricuum does not create engaged learners, alternatives for meds for adhd tx, inaccuracies in adhd diagnoses, etc. etc. etc.) from the book "the minds of boys" my Michael Gurain convinced me:

"When you notice males in education distress, you can point out that we are creating for our sons aneducational system not well suited to certain aspects of their brain; a system that claims they are defective, disordered, or incorrigible because they can't learn - even further, that their inability to change is yet another flaw in their characters as males, one that supposedly requires medication."

I keep this quote on my planner for days I feel a little frazzled and wonder about sending him back to public school. His twin sister is still in public school and says she loves it and does not want to homescool. I know if I demanded to homeschool her, she'd make it difficult for me! She thrives on the social aspect - which I don't think is particularly healthy either. I had to walk into the building today for her - it makes me angry. I am angry that the teachers and principals and aides and staff don't even know enough about the kids in their classrooms and school to know what is best for them. It makes me angry that all they care about is data and test scores. It makes me angry that they are teaching them a boring, rote, standardized curriculum and can't make meaningful accomodations for anyone. It makes me angry that they've forsaken writing and cursive, basic math facts, reading for fun - all to practice fill-in-the-bubble worksheets all day long. It makes me angry that engaging reading books, hands-on activities, student-made projects have all fallen by the wayside in persuit of test scores. Now thinkgs like a science fair or a book club are run by parent volunteers and are done by kids at home and aren't done for a grade anyway, so not many participate. It makes me angry that I remember having instrument lessons in elem school, but now you have to pay for it and get your child there at 7:45 am. It makes me angry that they never have outdoor recess - they watch videos on the whiteboard. How sad! It makes me angry that in order to coerce kids into doing boring worksheets all day long, they have to humiliate and berate students who are a little slower or need help by heaping undue praise on the ones that make their teaching day easy by flying through mindless work. Then they wonder why kids tease each other and bully - because the kids are made to feel like "haves" or "have nots" all day long.

As for your time - Yes, it's a huge sacrafice. I was the mom dropping the kids off in my yoga wear, then hitting the gym, then shopping or maybe coffee with a friend or whatever errand had to be run. So, I don't have all day for me anymore. But, I'm guessing it's a little easier since my kids are older - almost 10, 10 and 12. I can leave them home while I run one to an after school activity, or a quick trip to the store, etc.

SamMom912
by Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 4:36 PM

My son is in the ICT class (1/2 reg ed, 1/2 special ed and an aide) with 23 students, He has SPD a sensory processing disorder where sounds/noise/smells/visual stimulation and textures re all 10 times more pronounced to him. It makes the classroom a difficult place. 

He has a physical delay for fine and gross motor skills. 

His teachers, his OT and his PT are all womderful. They "get him" they work with him. They sent him home with 18 books to read (for fun) over break. hey let him read in an adjoining classroom when its chaotic. But, he still struggles with the demand of lunch, gym, music, art.. All the "mandated" stuff. We have outdorr recess (unless its clod and wet, so much of the year here in NY) lol.. But yes, its 23 minutes.. And thats it.. 

I do see what youre saying though about the unrealistic expectation. I think it is sad the percentage of kids misdiagnosed. i think that many who need the help still arent getting it. 

I also appreciate and agree with the state of schools and teaching for tests and not teaching to teach for the love of learning, 

thanks for replying. 

I will say if my son was 10 I might consider it more. 

Quoting Chasing3:

hmmm... we bought a house in "one of the best school districts" in our area too. Along wiht high test scores, comes insane pressure and angry teachers that are too demanding and try to diagnose normal, active kids with adhd and guilt the parents into taking blame for them being neurologically impaired, instead of looking at inappropriate curricula and developemntally inappropriate classrrom behavior expectations!

I decided to homeschool half way through last year after the constant calls, emails and complaints from the school sent me and my son to a therapist to be treated for anxiety.

Essentially, this quote (along with lots of other reading up on alternative education, best practices in education and how standardized testing and standardized curricuum does not create engaged learners, alternatives for meds for adhd tx, inaccuracies in adhd diagnoses, etc. etc. etc.) from the book "the minds of boys" my Michael Gurain convinced me:

"When you notice males in education distress, you can point out that we are creating for our sons aneducational system not well suited to certain aspects of their brain; a system that claims they are defective, disordered, or incorrigible because they can't learn - even further, that their inability to change is yet another flaw in their characters as males, one that supposedly requires medication."

I keep this quote on my planner for days I feel a little frazzled and wonder about sending him back to public school. His twin sister is still in public school and says she loves it and does not want to homescool. I know if I demanded to homeschool her, she'd make it difficult for me! She thrives on the social aspect - which I don't think is particularly healthy either. I had to walk into the building today for her - it makes me angry. I am angry that the teachers and principals and aides and staff don't even know enough about the kids in their classrooms and school to know what is best for them. It makes me angry that all they care about is data and test scores. It makes me angry that they are teaching them a boring, rote, standardized curriculum and can't make meaningful accomodations for anyone. It makes me angry that they've forsaken writing and cursive, basic math facts, reading for fun - all to practice fill-in-the-bubble worksheets all day long. It makes me angry that engaging reading books, hands-on activities, student-made projects have all fallen by the wayside in persuit of test scores. Now thinkgs like a science fair or a book club are run by parent volunteers and are done by kids at home and aren't done for a grade anyway, so not many participate. It makes me angry that I remember having instrument lessons in elem school, but now you have to pay for it and get your child there at 7:45 am. It makes me angry that they never have outdoor recess - they watch videos on the whiteboard. How sad! It makes me angry that in order to coerce kids into doing boring worksheets all day long, they have to humiliate and berate students who are a little slower or need help by heaping undue praise on the ones that make their teaching day easy by flying through mindless work. Then they wonder why kids tease each other and bully - because the kids are made to feel like "haves" or "have nots" all day long.

As for your time - Yes, it's a huge sacrafice. I was the mom dropping the kids off in my yoga wear, then hitting the gym, then shopping or maybe coffee with a friend or whatever errand had to be run. So, I don't have all day for me anymore. But, I'm guessing it's a little easier since my kids are older - almost 10, 10 and 12. I can leave them home while I run one to an after school activity, or a quick trip to the store, etc.


bren_darlene
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 6:49 PM
1 mom liked this

 I have been home educating for over 20 yrs.  I first began as soon as I heard of home education (it wasn't as well known then as now) mostly because I missed my kids sooo much when they were gone from me and I hated what they were being exposed to in the government schools. My oldest was 13 at that time (now 34).  I have never , ever regretted one second that I got to spend with my children. They are grown and gone so very fast. I miss those days very much. 

Is it hard?  Not a bit. It does take time and preparation but it is a blast most of the time :-)

Not sure about having time alone. That wasn't important to me and I did everything with my children. Do you have relatives or friends that can watch your son for a few hours a week?

All I can say is that it is a wonderful lifestyle and you will cherish the time for the rest of  your life.

ablackdolphin
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 8:43 PM
2 moms liked this

The moment I was pregnant with DD.  I knew she was different right then and there.  Even the midwives (several) said I hope you are prepared to chase this child around.  She was CRAZY active even then. Then when I saw how she was a terrible sleeper, really demanding, spooky smart and a lot like her daddy, I knew I had to.  She'd be in trouble all the time otherwise! She needs to learn something and MOVE ON!

There are so many other reasons.  A major one was my sister's boyfriend bringing a gun to school and threatening her life way back in the 1980's, well before all the recent issues. I lived in the middle of nowhere at the time!

My own education lacked because of teachers dealing with problem kids and or slowing down to other kids "levels".  I could have learned so much more. 

I really dislike the focus on sports in schools.

I could go on and on....

As for my kids being home all day...yep, it's not always easy.  A simple run to the store, bank or haircut is never easy. We have no family in town and don't do babysitters anymore.  DH has to be here for me to get out alone.

BUT, we can homeschool in our PJs....work on days that schools would have off (like 12/31 this year...DH worked so we did school that day until 5pm!)  or taking days off for Bdays or Gma visits or going to visit family.

I also don't want my kids raised by other kids.  I want them raised by me and DH!  My kids are young and I have the ability to pick and choose who they are introduced to and who we have playdates with!

We can study what DD is interested in and teach her in the way she learns best (currently the human body, she's 4 and is crazy about it right now).

I committed to doing one day at a time, one week at a time and one year at a time.  If it gets to the point where there are more bad days than good and it's just not working for one of us, then we'll look at other options...public school will always be there!

TidewaterClan
by on Jan. 6, 2014 at 10:01 PM
1 mom liked this

My daughters are in the 6th and 3rd grades.  I've wanted to homeschool my younger one ever since kindergarten because she had such a hard time with bullies, an overbearing teacher in the 1st grade, keeping up in math, etc.  I asked dh over and over about homeschooling her but he was too worried.  After she cried so often last year my husband finally agreed.  Now he is Mr. Homeschool!

My older daughter always loved public school until this year.  I brought her home after the first month.

I was extremely nervous, but I bought the teacher's books along with the student texts, and they are WONDERFUL.  There is so much additional information, and best of all (for me!), a pacing guide in each so I don't shove too much into one day.  I love math, but even if I didn't the teacher's guide would get me through.

As far as "me" time, there isn't a ton of it.  DH is going to watch the girls one night a week so I can write/draw/??? in another section of the house and they'll all pretend I'm not here.  :)  We finish school around 2:30 most days, and the girls get to watch tv or play after that.  I clean the house, and take care of other things during that time.  They love going with me to the grocery and other places, so we do that after school too.

I'm not complaining, but I honestly think I had more time to myself (during lunch break) when I was working full time.  :) 

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