Which do you think has more of an effect on your childs behavior. Disciplinary actions or positive reinforcment?
Neither! Treating them with the same respect we give each other, being understanding about their feelings/opinions & having compassion for their feelings/emotions works best for use!
We don't do much in the way of punishments. Instead we do Behavior Bucks. The kids earn these fictional 'bucks' by having good behavior, completing chores, being helpful, etc...or there can be a deduction of bucks for bad behavior. Each child has a checkbook register to keep track. They can use these 'bucks' to RENT things they enjoy from 3pm till 10am the next day. All electronics (video games, DVD players, computers, etc) are kept in my bedroom closet. If they don't have the bucks, they can't play the games they love,
I have always found that being engaged in various activities together helped a lot (ie: keeping them busy).
Victory lap to #37 today!
It really depends on the day and the child. I have one who is so focused on what is fair and right that she can't see the forest for the trees. I ended up having to take away a brand new toy she got for Christmas because she wasn't understanding the concept of "fair". She came to me 2 days later and explained to me in her words why she thought she lost her toy. She hit the nail on the head so to speak. She has understood why it was taken away and what she can do in the future to prevent it from happening again. I prefer natural consequences, but they only work with one of my girls...the youngest. With my oldest something only works once or twice and then not again. It is incredibly frustrating. Her dad has taken the talk to her approach which in my opinion doesn't garner results quick enough for me, but it eventually works.
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