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Poll

Question: How many kids do you have?

Options:

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10+


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Total Votes: 61

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How many kids do you have?
I am being bashed in another group about how I'm wanting to have my fourth kid. I get that this is a "2.5" kid society, but wow, why the heck is it anyone's business but my own? I mean, if me and my husband are happy with our family size, why does everyone feel the need to judge? When I see large families, I think "Wow, that must be fun!" and most people think "wow, I feel sorry for her". This is just a sad society of people. Children are wonderful blessings, whether your situation is "perfect" or not. Which most of us, truth be told is NOT. 
Just because a family has alot of money, does not, and will never make them good parents. Anyone else run into the bashing of having more than 2 kids?
 

by on Jan. 18, 2014 at 12:30 AM
Replies (21-30):
LilliesValley
by on Jan. 18, 2014 at 12:42 PM
Ee have two. We'd like to have three heck maybe more but we understand the limits of our income. We could have another but that would mean our kids that are here would have to give up things. When you already don't have a lot I just don't think that's fair. If we won the lottery then sure I'd have more. Age is also a factor. I'm almost 34 but dh is 11 years older than me.
Alynn74
by on Jan. 18, 2014 at 12:44 PM

I actually have no problem when people make comments about how busy I am because I have 5 kids. I used to get that quite alot when they were smaller but now that I have 2 teenagers I usually just get the comments on how nice it is for me to have kids that are old enough to help :)

Quoting Radiating2: Note to self, no mentioning how busy a Mom of four or more children must be through small talk with Moms I don't really know. I would never ever mean it as a bash, ever. Just to express that I know she works hard. Taking care of 5, 6, 7 people's needs (I'm including hubby of course), all at once sometimes and ALL day long can't be easy. That being said, I believe you have to follow your own heart and have the family size you and your husband choose or you won't be truly happy.
I imagine even people who choose to have no children at all experience the same type of judgement or bashing from people who just can't quit understand.
For what it worth I think you ladies are Amazing :)


usmom3
by BJ on Jan. 18, 2014 at 12:47 PM

 I only have 3! I don't think I could handle more then that but I don't begrudge anyone that has more! Each family is different & there is no right or wrong amount of kids to have. Parents that chose to have one get as much grief as parents that chose to have a lot.

Alynn74
by on Jan. 18, 2014 at 12:51 PM

I used to get bent out of shape over the "are they all yours? " comments but in this day and age with blended families, it isn't surprising. It's not necessarily the nicest question and really not anybody's business, but I don't think it's meant in a bad way when it's asked.

 I personally get tired of hearing how I must be on assistance (I'm not) and how my family's size and other's like mine are destroying the Earth by overpopulating it. Large families are not single handedly destroying the Earth and usuing up it's resources. This crap has been going on for decades-before all the present day big families were even around.

Grumpy.Cat
by Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 3:51 PM

We have 8. There's an occasional comment from outsiders but mostly we don't get grief for it. I grew up in an extended large family and that's where my ties still are, that's who we surround ourselves with. My grandparents had 8 too, and my dad was actually the only one of his siblings to have fewer than 4 kids, so large families are very much the norm and embraced in my family.

I do have to say, however, I do not believe children should be brought into a situation where the parents are not able to provide for them, financially or emotionally. At that point I start hearing "children are a blessing" or some other simpering cliche and thinking, 'the child is a blessing to you; you're not one to them.' It's more about fulfilling some need for the parent than about the health, happiness or future of the child, when people keep having children they can't afford or pay attention to.

Absent that, though, I don't really understand the negativity toward large families. Nor do I understand the negativity toward only children, or the way "2.5 kid norm" is spat like some kind of insult, often by larger families.

Who. gives. a. fuck? Really, who gives a fuck what other people do and why they choose to stop or not stop at 1, 2, 4, 8, 10, 15 kids, so long as everyone is provided for in the ways that matter?

-----
In such ugly times, the only true protest is beauty.
- Phil Ochs

tonyanamelia
by Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 5:41 PM

I agree that the parents should be able to care for them both financially and emotionally. But I also believe that not every "financial" situation has to be the same. Some people think you must have a savings account for each of your kids' college. Some people think you need every baby item known to man for each child, when in all actuality babies do NOT need every little piece of baby furniture/accessory out there. Obviously food is essential. But do the need to have every toy from toysrus currently on the market? (Not saying my kids don't have tons of toys...because they have a whole room full. LOL) Just saying, some people have this standard they want everyone to live up to, and it's different and should be different for every family. 
I agree also, it's TOTALLY not anyone's business but your own how many children you have (unless the dept of children has to get involved because of neglect, drugs, alcohol, etc. Obviously some people out there can't handle themselves much less their kids)  

Quoting Grumpy.Cat:

We have 8. There's an occasional comment from outsiders but mostly we don't get grief for it. I grew up in an extended large family and that's where my ties still are, that's who we surround ourselves with. My grandparents had 8 too, and my dad was actually the only one of his siblings to have fewer than 4 kids, so large families are very much the norm and embraced in my family.

I do have to say, however, I do not believe children should be brought into a situation where the parents are not able to provide for them, financially or emotionally. At that point I start hearing "children are a blessing" or some other simpering cliche and thinking, 'the child is a blessing to you; you're not one to them.' It's more about fulfilling some need for the parent than about the health, happiness or future of the child, when people keep having children they can't afford or pay attention to.

Absent that, though, I don't really understand the negativity toward large families. Nor do I understand the negativity toward only children, or the way "2.5 kid norm" is spat like some kind of insult, often by larger families.

Who. gives. a. fuck? Really, who gives a fuck what other people do and why they choose to stop or not stop at 1, 2, 4, 8, 10, 15 kids, so long as everyone is provided for in the ways that matter?


chotovec82
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 5:51 PM
I'm in the same boat. I love my second but I don't want another.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

LOL.  I'm sorry this is rude, but I totally get a kick out of the fact that I'm getting railroaded IRL to have a 4th because the grandparents want a grand-daughter!  I have 3 boys, if I had another boy, it would make me cry and probably get depressed, so I won't put myself and the 3 children I already have through that.  Yeah, I'm a horrible person, I know.

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 5:53 PM

Now that I read mine over, boy does that sound whiny!  LOL  I love my boys I just really wanted a girl and never got one.  I am very happy with my family size.

Quoting chotovec82: I'm in the same boat. I love my second but I don't want another.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

LOL.  I'm sorry this is rude, but I totally get a kick out of the fact that I'm getting railroaded IRL to have a 4th because the grandparents want a grand-daughter!  I have 3 boys, if I had another boy, it would make me cry and probably get depressed, so I won't put myself and the 3 children I already have through that.  Yeah, I'm a horrible person, I know.


chotovec82
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 7:09 PM
1 mom liked this
My reply was supposed to say that I love my boys boot don't want anymore.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

Now that I read mine over, boy does that sound whiny!  LOL  I love my boys I just really wanted a girl and never got one.  I am very happy with my family size.

Quoting chotovec82: I'm in the same boat. I love my second but I don't want another.



Quoting bluerooffarm:

LOL.  I'm sorry this is rude, but I totally get a kick out of the fact that I'm getting railroaded IRL to have a 4th because the grandparents want a grand-daughter!  I have 3 boys, if I had another boy, it would make me cry and probably get depressed, so I won't put myself and the 3 children I already have through that.  Yeah, I'm a horrible person, I know.


AllThatBabyJazz
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 9:52 PM

4, well, 3 and 1 on the way. We are open to having more. 

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