Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

 

Poll

Question: How many kids do you have?

Options:

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10+


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 61

View Results

How many kids do you have?
I am being bashed in another group about how I'm wanting to have my fourth kid. I get that this is a "2.5" kid society, but wow, why the heck is it anyone's business but my own? I mean, if me and my husband are happy with our family size, why does everyone feel the need to judge? When I see large families, I think "Wow, that must be fun!" and most people think "wow, I feel sorry for her". This is just a sad society of people. Children are wonderful blessings, whether your situation is "perfect" or not. Which most of us, truth be told is NOT. 
Just because a family has alot of money, does not, and will never make them good parents. Anyone else run into the bashing of having more than 2 kids?
 

by on Jan. 18, 2014 at 12:30 AM
Replies (31-39):
Grumpy.Cat
by Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 11:43 PM

Oh I totally agree about different degrees of financial situations. I'm talking roof over the head, secure place to live, not one fender bender away from homelessness, LOL. Not whether or not you have the money to keep a room at the Burj Al Arab on reserve ;) We've lived on next to nothing and been just as happy or happier than now when we have perhaps too much, I don't think it matters as long as there's resources and time for everyone and having more kids won't compromise the security of the others, KWIM?

Quoting tonyanamelia:

I agree that the parents should be able to care for them both financially and emotionally. But I also believe that not every "financial" situation has to be the same. Some people think you must have a savings account for each of your kids' college. Some people think you need every baby item known to man for each child, when in all actuality babies do NOT need every little piece of baby furniture/accessory out there. Obviously food is essential. But do the need to have every toy from toysrus currently on the market? (Not saying my kids don't have tons of toys...because they have a whole room full. LOL) Just saying, some people have this standard they want everyone to live up to, and it's different and should be different for every family. 
I agree also, it's TOTALLY not anyone's business but your own how many children you have (unless the dept of children has to get involved because of neglect, drugs, alcohol, etc. Obviously some people out there can't handle themselves much less their kids)  

Quoting Grumpy.Cat:

We have 8. There's an occasional comment from outsiders but mostly we don't get grief for it. I grew up in an extended large family and that's where my ties still are, that's who we surround ourselves with. My grandparents had 8 too, and my dad was actually the only one of his siblings to have fewer than 4 kids, so large families are very much the norm and embraced in my family.

I do have to say, however, I do not believe children should be brought into a situation where the parents are not able to provide for them, financially or emotionally. At that point I start hearing "children are a blessing" or some other simpering cliche and thinking, 'the child is a blessing to you; you're not one to them.' It's more about fulfilling some need for the parent than about the health, happiness or future of the child, when people keep having children they can't afford or pay attention to.

Absent that, though, I don't really understand the negativity toward large families. Nor do I understand the negativity toward only children, or the way "2.5 kid norm" is spat like some kind of insult, often by larger families.

Who. gives. a. fuck? Really, who gives a fuck what other people do and why they choose to stop or not stop at 1, 2, 4, 8, 10, 15 kids, so long as everyone is provided for in the ways that matter?



-----
In such ugly times, the only true protest is beauty.
- Phil Ochs

oahoah
by Member on Jan. 19, 2014 at 12:47 PM

Not quite but with 3 boys close in age we get a lot of looks when we are out and some rude "jokey" comments.  I think large families are great as well, I came from a family of 7 kids and really wanted more than we have but it's not possible. I don't think finances should determine your family size but I do think you should be able to support your family without government assistance.  It's more sad for people that don't realize what a blessing children are.

tonyanamelia
by on Jan. 19, 2014 at 1:40 PM

Yeah, I agree. We aren't in the "next to nothing" category. But we don't live on alot of credit like so much of our family and friends, so we only use what we get and stop there. Sometimes it goes farther than others but our kids never know the difference. We always take care of them first.

Quoting Grumpy.Cat:

Oh I totally agree about different degrees of financial situations. I'm talking roof over the head, secure place to live, not one fender bender away from homelessness, LOL. Not whether or not you have the money to keep a room at the Burj Al Arab on reserve ;) We've lived on next to nothing and been just as happy or happier than now when we have perhaps too much, I don't think it matters as long as there's resources and time for everyone and having more kids won't compromise the security of the others, KWIM?

romacox
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2014 at 6:37 PM

Two children were enough for us.  But children from large families learn so much more about tolerance, acceptance, co-operation and more.  You know your limitations. and no one else does.  Go for it girl.

KickButtMama
by Shannon on Jan. 19, 2014 at 6:56 PM

WTF, I don't know why anyone thinks they have the right to make that kind of determination for anyone! I remember when I was having my 2nd child my SIL gave me crap saying she only wanted to have 1 kid because she didn't think attention and love should be split...huh? (Was my response), she just had her 3rd child...lol..so apparently she figured it out! 

tonyanamelia
by on Jan. 19, 2014 at 7:07 PM

I kind of think alot of that bashing is jealousy. Sometimes they don't even realize they are jealous. Alot of my friends and even family bash having more than 1-2 then...they turn around and get pregnant. LOL
I agree, NO ONE has the right to choose someone else's family size.  

Quoting KickButtMama:

WTF, I don't know why anyone thinks they have the right to make that kind of determination for anyone! I remember when I was having my 2nd child my SIL gave me crap saying she only wanted to have 1 kid because she didn't think attention and love should be split...huh? (Was my response), she just had her 3rd child...lol..so apparently she figured it out! 


mem82
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2014 at 7:18 PM

I have four. 8)

mem82
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2014 at 7:23 PM

We get a lot of looks with just four. We also get assumptions that we need PA or something which irks, I admit. I feel like I have to say, "We have four and no we don't get help, yes they were planned and we MAY have another when we are ready." lol

KickButtMama
by Shannon on Jan. 19, 2014 at 7:31 PM

Yes, I never thought of it that way. But I think you could be right about the jealousy. I always wanted to have a large family, with 4-6 kids. But I have a vascular disease so I had to stop after 2. 

Quoting tonyanamelia:

I kind of think alot of that bashing is jealousy. Sometimes they don't even realize they are jealous. Alot of my friends and even family bash having more than 1-2 then...they turn around and get pregnant. LOL
I agree, NO ONE has the right to choose someone else's family size.  

Quoting KickButtMama:

WTF, I don't know why anyone thinks they have the right to make that kind of determination for anyone! I remember when I was having my 2nd child my SIL gave me crap saying she only wanted to have 1 kid because she didn't think attention and love should be split...huh? (Was my response), she just had her 3rd child...lol..so apparently she figured it out! 



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN