Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I hope I did the right thing...

Posted by on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:03 AM
  • 19 Replies

 My dd has a friend Rachel. She's 14 years old and not in school. Her mom told me she's tried high school, K12, a charter school (2 days a week, 2 hrs a day) nothing works. Rachel either doesn't want to do the work, or can't, I'm not entirely sure. Her mom isn't exactly a big help either. She basicly lets her daughter do whatever she wants and has a "Oh well, what can I do?" attitude.

So Rachel hasn't been in school for a month now. Her mom is worried about getting in trouble so she asked me how I homeschool DD. Honestly, I was hesitant to give her the information. I don't think she would do a very good job homeschooling her at all but then I thought, what other option does she have? So I set her up with the online forms and a detailed list of what materials I use and how I cover each subject. Right off the bat, she turns to Rachel and says, so when we get home you can fill this out and submit it right? I'm thinking 'NO! You're the mom.' 'You need to do this!' *Face palm*

Later she tells me that Rachel won't be allowed outside until she shows that she's been doing some work, cause she's not going to be putting up with that. Sigh...she has no intention of actually teaching her daughter. Luckily the work examples I gave her can be self taught, if she's serious about learning. I just hope I didn't set this little girl up to fail.

by on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:03 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:14 AM

You can only give information.  You cannot control what another family does.  I hope it goes well, but try not to beat yourself up if it doesn't.

debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:16 AM
With a mom who puts it all on the child she was set up from the beginning to fail. That part is not your fault. I pray the little girl takes an initiative or she is going to have a tough life.
paganbaby
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:18 AM

I know, i know...

I even considered having her come over and have school with us, but I honestly don't want the extra responsibility.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

You can only give information.  You cannot control what another family does.  I hope it goes well, but try not to beat yourself up if it doesn't.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














paganbaby
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:19 AM

What mom does that? I really hope she does too. If nothing else I'm going to tell her if she has any questions or needs help, to let me know.

Quoting debramommyof4: With a mom who puts it all on the child she was set up from the beginning to fail. That part is not your fault. I pray the little girl takes an initiative or she is going to have a tough life.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:20 AM
3 moms liked this

No....no...NO!  Do not offer that!  You are just getting the wind in your own sails.  As much as you MIGHT be able to help this child, you need to take care of the educations in your family right now.  Maybe a year or 2 down the line, it might be possible, but not now.

Sorry if that sounded a bit heartless.  I struggle with that stuff too.

Quoting paganbaby:

I know, i know...

I even considered having her come over and have school with us, but I honestly don't want the extra responsibility.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

You can only give information.  You cannot control what another family does.  I hope it goes well, but try not to beat yourself up if it doesn't.



paganbaby
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:24 AM

Thank you for saying that! I was feeling so guilty thinking it :-(

If she needed help with a chapter or something, I could do that, but the thought of an extra child...like you said, I'm just now starting to find my rythem. Adding dd was harder than I thought it was going to be.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

No....no...NO!  Do not offer that!  You are just getting the wind in your own sails.  As much as you MIGHT be able to help this child, you need to take care of the educations in your family right now.  Maybe a year or 2 down the line, it might be possible, but not now.

Sorry if that sounded a bit heartless.  I struggle with that stuff too.

Quoting paganbaby:

I know, i know...

I even considered having her come over and have school with us, but I honestly don't want the extra responsibility.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

You can only give information.  You cannot control what another family does.  I hope it goes well, but try not to beat yourself up if it doesn't.






I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:27 AM
A mom who doesn't really care. At least you are willing to give her a place to ask questions.

Quoting paganbaby:

What mom does that? I really hope she does too. If nothing else I'm going to tell her if she has any questions or needs help, to let me know.

Quoting debramommyof4: With a mom who puts it all on the child she was set up from the beginning to fail. That part is not your fault. I pray the little girl takes an initiative or she is going to have a tough life.


debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:30 AM
I totally agree with Blue. Though I would end up offering. I can not help it. But I would be in over my head and I have been homeschooling for 3 years with 4 kids.

Quoting paganbaby:

Thank you for saying that! I was feeling so guilty thinking it :-(

If she needed help with a chapter or something, I could do that, but the thought of an extra child...like you said, I'm just now starting to find my rythem. Adding dd was harder than I thought it was going to be.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

No....no...NO!  Do not offer that!  You are just getting the wind in your own sails.  As much as you MIGHT be able to help this child, you need to take care of the educations in your family right now.  Maybe a year or 2 down the line, it might be possible, but not now.

Sorry if that sounded a bit heartless.  I struggle with that stuff too.

Quoting paganbaby:

I know, i know...

I even considered having her come over and have school with us, but I honestly don't want the extra responsibility.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

You can only give information.  You cannot control what another family does.  I hope it goes well, but try not to beat yourself up if it doesn't.




paganbaby
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:30 AM

Sadly yes :-(

And hopefully she takes me up on it.

Quoting debramommyof4: A mom who doesn't really care. At least you are willing to give her a place to ask questions.

Quoting paganbaby:

What mom does that? I really hope she does too. If nothing else I'm going to tell her if she has any questions or needs help, to let me know.

Quoting debramommyof4: With a mom who puts it all on the child she was set up from the beginning to fail. That part is not your fault. I pray the little girl takes an initiative or she is going to have a tough life.





I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 11:34 AM
3 moms liked this

You're welcome.  There are times I wished someone would walk behind me and keep whispering "just say no".  LOL  I feel guilty about so much that I really shouldn't!

I'll bet it has been harder than you thought!  LOL I am often surprised by how the sum of the parts is so much higher than the parts themselves.  Hope that makes sense!  LOL

Quoting paganbaby:

Thank you for saying that! I was feeling so guilty thinking it :-(

If she needed help with a chapter or something, I could do that, but the thought of an extra child...like you said, I'm just now starting to find my rythem. Adding dd was harder than I thought it was going to be.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

No....no...NO!  Do not offer that!  You are just getting the wind in your own sails.  As much as you MIGHT be able to help this child, you need to take care of the educations in your family right now.  Maybe a year or 2 down the line, it might be possible, but not now.

Sorry if that sounded a bit heartless.  I struggle with that stuff too.

Quoting paganbaby:

I know, i know...

I even considered having her come over and have school with us, but I honestly don't want the extra responsibility.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

You can only give information.  You cannot control what another family does.  I hope it goes well, but try not to beat yourself up if it doesn't.





Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)