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Does it make me an awful mom?

Posted by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 6:04 AM
  • 29 Replies
My DD2 is 4 years old and is my challenging child. She doesn't have any learning problems but her attention and comprehension are seriously lacking. I homeschooled my dd1 who is 7. Is it awful of me to want to send my 4yo to kindergarten at a b&m and not homeschooled her? I'm wonderingnif any other moms have one in and one out and how that works for you? Thanks for any advice!
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 6:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
celtic77dragon
by Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 7:13 AM
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I dont think it makes you awful.

Then again, I don't consider sending a child to a b+m school as something awful. 

SamMom912
by Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 7:39 AM
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Youre not an awful mom... But id have concerns about what youre sending her for? Do you need the break from her cause she is difficult? Do you think she will need support services youre unable to provide? Do you think the enviornment is a benefit to her there? (Bigger, more social, free evaulations, psycologist, ot, support for add?) 

Here is my concern if she is difficult at home, then perhaps the school environment wont be a good place. Id be concerned that she is unable to handle the demands of the day, gets in trouble, has difficulty with attention and sitting still and her education starts to faulter as well as self esteem. 

I think as a trial run, K seems like a good idea if your reasons are the above. If she does have trouble, id seeks some guidance from an OT for some sensory help with her attentional issues ( read raising a sensory smart child) as well as a psychologist to evaluate her for ADD/HD. If your child has attentional issues, the school may or may not be a better place for her. 

Hugs.. In all honesty, you sound like a great mom... :) 

KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 8:52 AM
1 mom liked this
I have one that is more challenging. I'm finding different ways of educating her. Its getting easier with age too. Also I've given up on what I thought was a timeline of expectations. I have tried to stop pressuring myself.

Your daughter at four may not be ready like your other child was at four. Maybe she won't be ready for formal schooling until 7 even.
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:06 AM
2 moms liked this

I have a very difficult child (5 now) who I considered sending to PS.  I mentioned it one day and he asked me if I loved his brothers more than him.  That was the end of that idea.  I would see no problem with sending one to PS as long as no one feels left out.  It could go either way too...What if the 7yo decides she wants to go to PS too?  What if DD2 decides you are sending her away because of her behavior? So IMO Tread carefully.

awesomemommy2
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:09 AM
It doesn't make you bad but it may be something your kids question. Why specifically do you want to send her? And would it just be for K?
Honey_Comb
by Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:26 AM
2 moms liked this
All this make perfect sense. I suppose I would be sending her for me to get a break and hopefully it would only be kindergarten or jus until she seems to comprehend better. But I am worried that my 7yo would want to go and she's so far ahead I'm afraid PS would dumb her down. I've not made any decisions and would love to omeschool all my kids. Thanks for the input!
KickButtMama
by Shannon on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:50 AM
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I agree, my elders was my 'difficult' one. I was on the verge of giving up HS after the first year or so, (when he was in grades peers-k & k) but I had to completely change how we schooled and that helped. And once he reached about age 7 he became much easier to communicate with, as he could express himself better. I'm glad I didn't give in and send him. If  he couldn't sit and listen to me for the 1-2 hours of school, then he definitely would have been miserable sitting for 6+ hours at PS. There are kids that are successful in the PS setting - but my son is very much a free spirit, he would have been crushed there. 

Quoting KrissyKC: I have one that is more challenging. I'm finding different ways of educating her. Its getting easier with age too. Also I've given up on what I thought was a timeline of expectations. I have tried to stop pressuring myself.

Your daughter at four may not be ready like your other child was at four. Maybe she won't be ready for formal schooling until 7 even.


AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 10:36 AM

This.

I have one in brick and mortar private school, while I homeschool my middle child (and eventually my youngest, when he's old enough).

So long as you're happy with what is taught there, and how, and have no safety concerns, believing that your child will thrive there, there should be no guilt.

No *one* learning environment works for every kid (or every mom!).

Quoting celtic77dragon:

I dont think it makes you awful.

Then again, I don't consider sending a child to a b+m school as something awful. 


I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee















jjackson2
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 10:41 AM
I am sort of where you are now. But I do not homeschool. I send mine to private school. I have a difficult one who is 5. I am thinking of sending him to public school. He may not qualify for K this year and I feel that is a lot of money just to have him in pre-k again. Plus he could get extra services at the public school. He is everywhere he should be but he is a non writer. At this time, he will not qualify to go to K at the private school. I dont think you are a horrible mom. You have to do what is best for your situation .
Pukalani79
by Kristin on Feb. 1, 2014 at 10:51 AM
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 I've had one at home and two in ps, then two at home and one in ps and finally all three at home.  It's different, but you have to do what's best for each individual child imo

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