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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Does it make me an awful mom?

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My DD2 is 4 years old and is my challenging child. She doesn't have any learning problems but her attention and comprehension are seriously lacking. I homeschooled my dd1 who is 7. Is it awful of me to want to send my 4yo to kindergarten at a b&m and not homeschooled her? I'm wonderingnif any other moms have one in and one out and how that works for you? Thanks for any advice!
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 6:04 AM
Replies (21-29):
Honey_Comb
by Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:29 PM
If you google the milestones for a five year old there are a couple links. We brought it up to her ped and he said as far as comprehension she has to be tested by the local school system.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

Which milestones? I'm sincerely curious. Our son's pediatrician isn't the least bit worried about him - neither am I.

Quoting Honey_Comb: Well based on she appropriate milestones she should be. I usually don't go by those but I just worry about her. We had her evaluated for ADD/ADHD but since she's so young we are waiting longer to see if this things go away, which most of them have.



Quoting AutymsMommy:

I'm curious why you would think she should be able to do more than one task at a time.

My son is the same age - he'll be 5 in May; his focus is fleeting, he's energetic, and he cannot typically do more than one task at a time. He is completely age typical in those regards.

Quoting Honey_Comb: Like I said I haven't decided anything. Just playing with the idea. And by comprehension I mean she does not understand anything you say. Rules go in one ear and out the other. Her attention doesn't stay longer than a minute. She turns 5 in March and should be able to do more than one task at a time and just can't. I was just seeing what other peoples experiences are.





Quoting Leissaintexas: She's only 4, how good could her attention span and comprehension be? I'd give it a year or so, then see if maturity is the issue. 4 seems young to decide that. I don't know many 4 yr olds who are ready for seat work and the demands of school.



Honey_Comb
by Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:32 PM
1 mom liked this
I really appreciate that. I hate the idea of sending to her to a public school, I love schooling my kids. Its the best feeling when your child learns and you witness it.

Quoting kirbymom: Sweety , I wouldn't send my kids to public school for love nor money BUT, I would not impose that on anyone else. My advice to you is to do what is best for you and your family. You can take her out if you find ps not working and home school her. That is the beauty of homeschooling. Decide this - change that, to best fit the needs of the family. If you are in need of some support, this group is an awesome place for support. Whichever way you decide to go, we are here fir you.

Hugs! :)
AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 10:04 PM

I guess I just do not care much about paper based milestones, lol. It never occurred to me that an almost 5 year old should be able to focus much or sit still for long and, luckily, our ped seems to agree.

Quoting Honey_Comb: If you google the milestones for a five year old there are a couple links. We brought it up to her ped and he said as far as comprehension she has to be tested by the local school system.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

Which milestones? I'm sincerely curious. Our son's pediatrician isn't the least bit worried about him - neither am I.

Quoting Honey_Comb: Well based on she appropriate milestones she should be. I usually don't go by those but I just worry about her. We had her evaluated for ADD/ADHD but since she's so young we are waiting longer to see if this things go away, which most of them have.



Quoting AutymsMommy:

I'm curious why you would think she should be able to do more than one task at a time.

My son is the same age - he'll be 5 in May; his focus is fleeting, he's energetic, and he cannot typically do more than one task at a time. He is completely age typical in those regards.

Quoting Honey_Comb: Like I said I haven't decided anything. Just playing with the idea. And by comprehension I mean she does not understand anything you say. Rules go in one ear and out the other. Her attention doesn't stay longer than a minute. She turns 5 in March and should be able to do more than one task at a time and just can't. I was just seeing what other peoples experiences are.





Quoting Leissaintexas: She's only 4, how good could her attention span and comprehension be? I'd give it a year or so, then see if maturity is the issue. 4 seems young to decide that. I don't know many 4 yr olds who are ready for seat work and the demands of school.




I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee















Honey_Comb
by Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 10:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm about to be that person now. I'm tired of this world making the kids all the same. I just need to let her grow at her own pace!

Quoting AutymsMommy:

I guess I just do not care much about paper based milestones, lol. It never occurred to me that an almost 5 year old should be able to focus much or sit still for long and, luckily, our ped seems to agree.

Quoting Honey_Comb: If you google the milestones for a five year old there are a couple links. We brought it up to her ped and he said as far as comprehension she has to be tested by the local school system.



Quoting AutymsMommy:

Which milestones? I'm sincerely curious. Our son's pediatrician isn't the least bit worried about him - neither am I.

Quoting Honey_Comb: Well based on she appropriate milestones she should be. I usually don't go by those but I just worry about her. We had her evaluated for ADD/ADHD but since she's so young we are waiting longer to see if this things go away, which most of them have.





Quoting AutymsMommy:

I'm curious why you would think she should be able to do more than one task at a time.

My son is the same age - he'll be 5 in May; his focus is fleeting, he's energetic, and he cannot typically do more than one task at a time. He is completely age typical in those regards.

Quoting Honey_Comb: Like I said I haven't decided anything. Just playing with the idea. And by comprehension I mean she does not understand anything you say. Rules go in one ear and out the other. Her attention doesn't stay longer than a minute. She turns 5 in March and should be able to do more than one task at a time and just can't. I was just seeing what other peoples experiences are.







Quoting Leissaintexas: She's only 4, how good could her attention span and comprehension be? I'd give it a year or so, then see if maturity is the issue. 4 seems young to decide that. I don't know many 4 yr olds who are ready for seat work and the demands of school.




ablackdolphin
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 8:19 AM
1 mom liked this
I get wanting the break!! My dd4 is my crazy kid but I chose to homeschool her knowing that I am her mom and if I don't want to be around her an adult who is not a parent wouldn't want to either and she would either end up in trouble or her education would suffer. She is gifted but crazy!!
Honey_Comb
by Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 8:21 AM
That's a great way to look at it!!! So very true!

Quoting ablackdolphin: I get wanting the break!! My dd4 is my crazy kid but I chose to homeschool her knowing that I am her mom and if I don't want to be around her an adult who is not a parent wouldn't want to either and she would either end up in trouble or her education would suffer. She is gifted but crazy!!
romacox
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:21 AM
1 mom liked this

Sometimes we have trouble with one child because they are of a (1) different personality or learning style than our own.  But more often it is the(2)  strong willed child that is difficult to raise.  A little information helps a lot in both cases.  

If we can raise the strong willed child without breaking their spirit, they turn out to be very capable.  My husband is strong willed.  I often say when he is right, it is like watching a miracle happen (he can do anything he puts his mind to) , but when he is wrong, it is like being run over by a freight train.

(3) Also keep  in mind that we tend to think children should learn certain things by certain ages.  But the latest brain research shows that there can be a 5 year difference of maturation between any two "normal" children.  Basing achievement based on chronological age is inappropriate.  

Following are some articles to help you.

(1 &3)  Whole Brain Teaching (the different learning styles, how to improve the health of the brain, and a real life example)

(2) Setting Limits For The Strong Willed Child

Quoting Honey_Comb: All this make perfect sense. I suppose I would be sending her for me to get a break and hopefully it would only be kindergarten or jus until she seems to comprehend better. But I am worried that my 7yo would want to go and she's so far ahead I'm afraid PS would dumb her down. I've not made any decisions and would love to omeschool all my kids. Thanks for the input!


tansyflower
by Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:30 AM

my not quite 4 year old is a handful and drives me CRAZY and i still wouldnt send him.  if anything his problems would probably just get worse not better.  many schools are not well equipted to handle children that need more one on one attention and different learning styles.  i am not even going to try to "formally" hs him until he 6/7.  my sister is a teacher and she agrees he will be much better off if we give him more time.

lovelylady83
by on Feb. 2, 2014 at 12:06 PM

I know many people who home school half their kids BUT consider too that if she is difficult for you she maybe that way in school too.  


I would say she is 4 and you don't really need to worry about it yet.  The course work required for a 5 year old is not much.  If she is seriously active you may just need to look at schooling her differently than your older one. My older one is very antsy.  Can't sit still bored if she is not interested, prefers hands on and video based type things and comprehends things better by reading on her own versus read alouds.  

Some tips that I would recommend is trying various types of activities with her (teaching the same topic) until you see what she enjoys the most.  Do you netflix or amazon prime?  you could rent/ watch some educational things as a trial Like Signing Time.  You can subscribe to National Geograpic Little Kids for like 17$ for the year and do two facing pages a day the last page is usually an activity.  Or High Five is a good one for that age too.  High Five comes with an activity that you cut and play alone or together.  Starfall.com is great for reading and then Sid the Science Kid is online too.  Math at that age(5) is counting, colors, shapes.  Try sitting with her for no more than 10 min at a time 3 times a day.  10 for math, 10 for letter sounds & recognition and 10 min to read a SHORT story/ article.  

If you are looking at doing something more organized for K or Pre K Peak with books is awesome and Moving Beyond the Page used to put out a one page file for how to use it with homeschooling.  I have that file I can post the instructions if you want.  (they stopped selling it when they designed their own prek and K) 

Another one that maybe of interest is 5 in a row but that requires a longer sitting time (it didn't work for us).

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