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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

I need help.

Posted by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:33 PM
  • 14 Replies
My Dad has pancreatic cancer, it spread and he's not getting treated for it. My Mom needs some help with him. I have been going over more often helping clean, cook and staying with Dad so she can go to the store. I feel very nervous leaving him alone. He has Hospice but he doesn't trust volunteers to stay with him. It doesn't look good for him, he has no energy, he is 5'11 and weighs 115 lbs. He told me he is suprised that he wakes up. He wants to be at home for as long as possible. Now the problem I have is Destinay and I don't have good homeschool days when I go over there. I want to spend as much time as I can with Dad before he dies, but I also want to teach Destinay. So what would you all do in this situation? Oh and by the way, I'm the only one who can go over during the day. Thanks for the help.
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
romacox
by Silver Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 6:15 PM

That is a tough decision, and only you can decide.  Can your Mom team up with you in the homeschooling, cooking and cleaning?  You can also use the cooking to teach reading, spelling, fractions and measuring.  Folding cloths can be used to teach fractions.

Mommynay2
by Bronze Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:32 PM
Hi my Mom has Bipolar disorder, and she is going through something. Whenever Destinay and I go over there she tends to leave. I don't want to put more pressure on Mom because I know she takes on a lot when I'm not there. I just wish I could do both. Thanks for the advice.

Quoting romacox:

That is a tough decision, and only you can decide.  Can your Mom team up with you in the homeschooling, cooking and cleaning?  You can also use the cooking to teach reading, spelling, fractions and measuring.  Folding cloths can be used to teach fractions.

TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:55 PM

Is your mom taking an anti-depressant to handle the amount of stress she's going through?  I'm sure she could really use the boost.

As far as time with your dad goes, I honestly wouldn't worry about hs right now.  If your dad would enjoy hearing a book I'd read to both of them, but I would just seize the day on the time you have with him right now if it were me. 

usmom3
by BJ on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:23 PM
2 moms liked this

 Personally (this is not just because we already unschool either) I would unschool her as much as the law in your state would allow to free up the stress of homeschooling. Your Father is sick & eventual will pass on so I would see spending time with him for both you & your daughter would be so much more important right now. This time you have with him you will never get again so make him & it the priority! I am sorry if this did not come off compassionate enough I have a hard time in face to face conversations sounding compassionate let alone online!

KickButtMama
by Shannon on Mar. 12, 2014 at 9:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, I'd put learning on the back burner. I'm sure even your DD would cherish this time. 

Mommynay2
by Bronze Member on Mar. 13, 2014 at 7:49 AM
You are right. You came off honest and true; and didn't sugarcoat what you said, I appreciate that. I will try unschooling her at this point, because trying to take care of his house and my house plus the emotional toll on me it is very hard planning and focusing. Thank you very much.

Quoting usmom3:

 Personally (this is not just because we already unschool either) I would unschool her as much as the law in your state would allow to free up the stress of homeschooling. Your Father is sick & eventual will pass on so I would see spending time with him for both you & your daughter would be so much more important right now. This time you have with him you will never get again so make him & it the priority! I am sorry if this did not come off compassionate enough I have a hard time in face to face conversations sounding compassionate let alone online!

usmom3
by BJ on Mar. 13, 2014 at 12:37 PM

 I am glad that I did not offend you! I hope that when it is all said & done you will look back on this time & see it all as an opportunity that few people get with a loved one that is at the end of their life! If your Father is up to talking & visiting encourage him to have conversations with your daughter about everything he knows & loves. Maybe he could watch movies that he loves with her or she could read one of his favorite books to him! All of those things will help them be closer & give her fond memories of him!

Quoting Mommynay2: You are right. You came off honest and true; and didn't sugarcoat what you said, I appreciate that. I will try unschooling her at this point, because trying to take care of his house and my house plus the emotional toll on me it is very hard planning and focusing. Thank you very much.
Quoting usmom3:

 Personally (this is not just because we already unschool either) I would unschool her as much as the law in your state would allow to free up the stress of homeschooling. Your Father is sick & eventual will pass on so I would see spending time with him for both you & your daughter would be so much more important right now. This time you have with him you will never get again so make him & it the priority! I am sorry if this did not come off compassionate enough I have a hard time in face to face conversations sounding compassionate let alone online!

 

DyslexiaParent
by Member on Mar. 13, 2014 at 1:00 PM

Living life and valuing our time with family is such an important lesson all by itself.  I think that being there for your dad, and your DD seeing your love, compassion, and support for your aging parents will speak more volumes to her than any book!  That said, while you're there, you can have activities that could be educationally beneficial.. Like:

- Having your dad tell stories from his life (history),

- Let your DD draw or write notes to him while you're there (writing practice or art)

- And, your DD will learn about the body systems and other things related to biology too just in asking about your dad's health.

Let it be a time of love and peace and reflection--You'll cherish it always!  There will be time to worry about strict academics soon enough. ;-)

Hugs to you and your family during this difficult transitional time.


Quoting Mommynay2: You are right. You came off honest and true; and didn't sugarcoat what you said, I appreciate that. I will try unschooling her at this point, because trying to take care of his house and my house plus the emotional toll on me it is very hard planning and focusing. Thank you very much.
Quoting usmom3:

 Personally (this is not just because we already unschool either) I would unschool her as much as the law in your state would allow to free up the stress of homeschooling. Your Father is sick & eventual will pass on so I would see spending time with him for both you & your daughter would be so much more important right now. This time you have with him you will never get again so make him & it the priority! I am sorry if this did not come off compassionate enough I have a hard time in face to face conversations sounding compassionate let alone online!


SandyKC
M.S. Instructional Design, Veteran Homeschooling Mom of "Light of My Life" Boys,
Author

KenneMaw
by Member on Mar. 13, 2014 at 1:11 PM

I agree with the posts above.  Do not worry about homeschooling right now.  On your dad's good days, let him talk to your DD and teach her about the world.   My Grandfather was an amazing man and knew stories about every family in town (not gossip, but where they came from, etc...)    I wished I had written down everythign he said.   Just make the most of this time with your Dad and support your mother.  Destinay will learn SO much by watching you and seeing what being a family really means.

I am so sorry about your Dad.  My prayers are with you and your Mom.

mommy2kaelynn
by Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 2:48 AM

I am in a very similar situation, but I am not local. I live 8 hours away by car. My daughter is 7 and we have been trying to normalize her life, and not scare her about her Fadr (Grandpa) whom she is very attached to. He has been in and out of the hospital for 8 months and is in what they call a cyclical pattern. He probably will not ever get 100% better. I cannot be here all the time, I need to be at home, but we are trying to be as helpful for my Mom and he as we can. 

I have been here for 3 weeks now, 2 with my daughter, than she went home and we are lucky that we have a very dear friend, currently unemployed, watching her and doing her schoolwork with her for free this week. 

But I need to come back with her in about 3 weeks. It is a VERY difficult balancing act.

Be with your Dad as much as you can, let your daughter be there too if it's not too rough on her. Be thankful you are close and able to be there, I wish I could be so close! 

I love the ideas of having him tell you all his life stories - record them on a digital recorder to preserve them!!!

Good luck, I will be thinking of you and keeping your family in my heart and prayers. I truly understand

Gentle (((hugs)))

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