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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms
My 12 year old has been getting overly sarcastic and giving me a hard time lately. I know it's just part of growing up, but she wouldn't shut her eyes for 10 minutes or walk out on a public school class so I had to do something.

Two weeks ago we implemented the "Homeschool Detention Program" and it's working wonderfully! The girls and I made a list of rules: no laying down during class, no yelling during class, no playing with the dogs, etc. and posted them on our cork board. Every infraction equals 5 minutes of detention. Detention equals helping me clean on the weekend with absolutely NO grouching.

My house is much cleaner and older dd has a nicer attitude too, believe it or not! :)
by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 5:56 PM
Replies (11-20):
TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 10:06 PM
Our living & dining rooms are super clean now. Plus, by Friday the eye rolling & sassing during school were way down. :)

Quoting hwblyf:

Oh, I may have to utilize this!

TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Mar. 16, 2014 at 10:27 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you, that is really sweet of you to say. Most days I certainly don't feel like mother of the year. But I am hoping I am doing enough to counteract the horrible feelings of abandonment DD must have.

5 minutes is good, it's not a crazy amount, but it's really on them how much they accrue! My fear is that the second I mark down or point out that she just got 5 more min, it would be a total meltdown. Last week on two separate days: one day she cried "put my book down, stop touching it" for 40 minutes (me looking in a children's atlas mil bought for her to see if it would work for our geography lesson) and then she spent 6.5 hours doing about 2.5 hours of school work on Friday repeatedly slamming books closed, throwing her pencil and exclaiming "I don't get it" but never being able to specify what "it" was (this was throughout different subjects and assignments).

Ugh...this too shall pass....I'll just keep repeating that as much as possible.



Quoting TidewaterClan: I sincerely hope she never says that. Your children couldn't ask for a better & more caring mother than you.

It's working well, especially since it's only 5 minute increments. Older dd owed my three hours today and we got a TON of cleaning done.


Quoting TJandKarasMom: This is so exactly my DD and she is only 10.5! We have a long way to go....the icing on the cake is that she is not my biological child! She is DHs and her mother hasn't been in the picture at all for two years now. I am just waiting for the "you're not my mother!" comments to start :(. I know it's coming.

I may consider this HS detention....I like how you have it so its cleaning on the weekends, since I work this could work for us too.

Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it!

Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?


Quoting coala:

Sounds like you found something that is working. 

I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!

ablackdolphin
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 10:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Love it!! Wished it could work on my 4 yr old lol

Mandallyn
by Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 2:02 AM
1 mom liked this
I really hope by the time Scott is that age something like this will help us. Right now I think it would fly right over his head.
I do think this would work for Rylan. She'd probably be whipped into shape if I started doing this now!
bldjrs123
by Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 6:21 AM
1 mom liked this

I love this im so going to set some rules to use with this... my kids already clean during the week as part of chores and the fact that i cant use one hand right now due to fracturing it during our last ice storm.. but i think i could come up with some good stuff for detention lol. told my ol man bout this and he agrees it is a great idea.

mem82
by Platinum Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 8:47 AM
1 mom liked this
Lol Sounds good to me!
hwblyf
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow, a house with minimal sassing...definitely gonna have to keep this in my back pocket!

Quoting TidewaterClan: Our living & dining rooms are super clean now. Plus, by Friday the eye rolling & sassing during school were way down. :)
Quoting hwblyf:

Oh, I may have to utilize this!


coala
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:56 AM
1 mom liked this

This is the biggest.....more than 33 teams from across the US and 350 skaters at last count and continuing to grow.  We have been to local meeets where the team count hasn't exceeded 10 and not more than about 200 skaters.  We are going to meet some pro skaters as well.  I'm getting excited, but I really think she is feeling the pressure.

Quoting TidewaterClan: That does sound like she is feeling anxious. You guys have done other competitions if I remember right. Is this one the biggest? Have all the skating buddies been talking about it?
Quoting coala:

I honestly think she is testing us...we are coming up on the 2 year mark of her living with us.  It has been over a year since she has seen or talked to her bio mother.  Her bio father is in prison.....all of this is hard on this child.  I think she is testing to make sure that we aren't going to throw her away like her bio parents have.  It is hard some days and others not so much.  Then you factor in the stress level that is rising because she is going to a MAJOR skating competition in Atlanta this next weekend and her coach is pushing her to skate harder (because she just hasn't been giving it her all for 2 mos).  I think it is all just getting to her.  We are going to take some time off come summer....when her season is over.  I don't want to pull her and right now with regionals quickly approaching we are under fire with her skating.  Her coach even wants to partner her with a male friend of hers to have them skate a relay together....but she has to bring it up a notch because he is giving it everything and she is so/so.  UGH!!  Is how I feel most days after practice because she has SO MUCH untapped potential that she is wasting.

Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it! Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?
Quoting coala:

Sounds like you found something that is working. 

I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!



TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 10:36 AM

Has she just recently started to respond like that?  Could she be nervous about your husband's new job/their changed schedule?  I hope that settles down once everyone acclimates to the change.  

Quoting TJandKarasMom: Thank you, that is really sweet of you to say. Most days I certainly don't feel like mother of the year. But I am hoping I am doing enough to counteract the horrible feelings of abandonment DD must have. 5 minutes is good, it's not a crazy amount, but it's really on them how much they accrue! My fear is that the second I mark down or point out that she just got 5 more min, it would be a total meltdown. Last week on two separate days: one day she cried "put my book down, stop touching it" for 40 minutes (me looking in a children's atlas mil bought for her to see if it would work for our geography lesson) and then she spent 6.5 hours doing about 2.5 hours of school work on Friday repeatedly slamming books closed, throwing her pencil and exclaiming "I don't get it" but never being able to specify what "it" was (this was throughout different subjects and assignments). Ugh...this too shall pass....I'll just keep repeating that as much as possible.
Quoting TidewaterClan: I sincerely hope she never says that. Your children couldn't ask for a better & more caring mother than you. It's working well, especially since it's only 5 minute increments. Older dd owed my three hours today and we got a TON of cleaning done.
Quoting TJandKarasMom: This is so exactly my DD and she is only 10.5! We have a long way to go....the icing on the cake is that she is not my biological child! She is DHs and her mother hasn't been in the picture at all for two years now. I am just waiting for the "you're not my mother!" comments to start :(. I know it's coming. I may consider this HS detention....I like how you have it so its cleaning on the weekends, since I work this could work for us too.
Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it! Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?
Quoting coala:

Sounds like you found something that is working. 

I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!


TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 10:39 AM

This is true!  4 year olds don't usually care so much about consequences.  :)

Quoting ablackdolphin:

Love it!! Wished it could work on my 4 yr old lol


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