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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms
My 12 year old has been getting overly sarcastic and giving me a hard time lately. I know it's just part of growing up, but she wouldn't shut her eyes for 10 minutes or walk out on a public school class so I had to do something.

Two weeks ago we implemented the "Homeschool Detention Program" and it's working wonderfully! The girls and I made a list of rules: no laying down during class, no yelling during class, no playing with the dogs, etc. and posted them on our cork board. Every infraction equals 5 minutes of detention. Detention equals helping me clean on the weekend with absolutely NO grouching.

My house is much cleaner and older dd has a nicer attitude too, believe it or not! :)
by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 5:56 PM
Replies (21-30):
TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 10:42 AM
1 mom liked this

I definitely agree!  It sounds like Ry would appreciate this more than Scott at this point.  :)

Quoting Mandallyn: I really hope by the time Scott is that age something like this will help us. Right now I think it would fly right over his head. I do think this would work for Rylan. She'd probably be whipped into shape if I started doing this now!


TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 10:46 AM

I'm so glad you like it!  The hubs is backing me up, and that helps tremendously.

Sorry to hear about your hand!  I hope it's healing nicely.

Quoting bldjrs123:

I love this im so going to set some rules to use with this... my kids already clean during the week as part of chores and the fact that i cant use one hand right now due to fracturing it during our last ice storm.. but i think i could come up with some good stuff for detention lol. told my ol man bout this and he agrees it is a great idea.


TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 10:47 AM

Hey - whatever it takes!  :D

Quoting mem82: Lol Sounds good to me!


TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 10:54 AM

Wow that's huge.  I'm sure once it's actually happening she'll relax, but that has to be a lot to think of ahead of time.  I'm looking forward to hearing all about it once you guys get to go!

Quoting coala:

This is the biggest.....more than 33 teams from across the US and 350 skaters at last count and continuing to grow.  We have been to local meeets where the team count hasn't exceeded 10 and not more than about 200 skaters.  We are going to meet some pro skaters as well.  I'm getting excited, but I really think she is feeling the pressure.

Quoting TidewaterClan: That does sound like she is feeling anxious. You guys have done other competitions if I remember right. Is this one the biggest? Have all the skating buddies been talking about it?
Quoting coala:

I honestly think she is testing us...we are coming up on the 2 year mark of her living with us.  It has been over a year since she has seen or talked to her bio mother.  Her bio father is in prison.....all of this is hard on this child.  I think she is testing to make sure that we aren't going to throw her away like her bio parents have.  It is hard some days and others not so much.  Then you factor in the stress level that is rising because she is going to a MAJOR skating competition in Atlanta this next weekend and her coach is pushing her to skate harder (because she just hasn't been giving it her all for 2 mos).  I think it is all just getting to her.  We are going to take some time off come summer....when her season is over.  I don't want to pull her and right now with regionals quickly approaching we are under fire with her skating.  Her coach even wants to partner her with a male friend of hers to have them skate a relay together....but she has to bring it up a notch because he is giving it everything and she is so/so.  UGH!!  Is how I feel most days after practice because she has SO MUCH untapped potential that she is wasting.

Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it! Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?
Quoting coala:

Sounds like you found something that is working. 

I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!




coala
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 11:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I will once we get back.  She did a local league meet....her and my SO.  He placed 2nd in his age division in the rookie class, and she got 3rd in her age division in rookie class.  She should have placed 2nd, but there is a LONG list of issues I had with that meet....one of them being that they didn't call any problems with the better racers that needed calling, but made the kids who have just started racing..rerun a race because the lap counter couldn't keep track and rang the bell a lap early.  All the girls skated the correct number of laps, but they had to redo that race anyways.  My DD finished 3rd in that race and 2nd the first time through.  UGH!  Ok, I'm done venting and will hopefully have some pictures of this next race for everyone.

Quoting TidewaterClan:

Wow that's huge.  I'm sure once it's actually happening she'll relax, but that has to be a lot to think of ahead of time.  I'm looking forward to hearing all about it once you guys get to go!

Quoting coala:

This is the biggest.....more than 33 teams from across the US and 350 skaters at last count and continuing to grow.  We have been to local meeets where the team count hasn't exceeded 10 and not more than about 200 skaters.  We are going to meet some pro skaters as well.  I'm getting excited, but I really think she is feeling the pressure.

Quoting TidewaterClan: That does sound like she is feeling anxious. You guys have done other competitions if I remember right. Is this one the biggest? Have all the skating buddies been talking about it?
Quoting coala:

I honestly think she is testing us...we are coming up on the 2 year mark of her living with us.  It has been over a year since she has seen or talked to her bio mother.  Her bio father is in prison.....all of this is hard on this child.  I think she is testing to make sure that we aren't going to throw her away like her bio parents have.  It is hard some days and others not so much.  Then you factor in the stress level that is rising because she is going to a MAJOR skating competition in Atlanta this next weekend and her coach is pushing her to skate harder (because she just hasn't been giving it her all for 2 mos).  I think it is all just getting to her.  We are going to take some time off come summer....when her season is over.  I don't want to pull her and right now with regionals quickly approaching we are under fire with her skating.  Her coach even wants to partner her with a male friend of hers to have them skate a relay together....but she has to bring it up a notch because he is giving it everything and she is so/so.  UGH!!  Is how I feel most days after practice because she has SO MUCH untapped potential that she is wasting.

Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it! Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?
Quoting coala:

Sounds like you found something that is working. 

I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!




TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Mar. 17, 2014 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this
It's been going on longer than the new job situation...DH just found out Friday morning about it and we didn't really say anything that the kids could hear until at least that evening.

I've noticed it's much worse on days we have something scheduled (dance, co op, etc). I'm wondering if there is some social anxiety, but it also happens on days with no plans. And some days when I have to leave for work (especially my earlier days) she has a rough time as well. She has some autistic tendencies and one of the biggest is having trouble with transitions. I try to make things a routine and warn her when there's going to be a change, but sometime it seems better to just tell her at the last minute.

Quoting TidewaterClan:

Has she just recently started to respond like that?  Could she be nervous about your husband's new job/their changed schedule?  I hope that settles down once everyone acclimates to the change.  

Quoting TJandKarasMom: Thank you, that is really sweet of you to say. Most days I certainly don't feel like mother of the year. But I am hoping I am doing enough to counteract the horrible feelings of abandonment DD must have.

5 minutes is good, it's not a crazy amount, but it's really on them how much they accrue! My fear is that the second I mark down or point out that she just got 5 more min, it would be a total meltdown. Last week on two separate days: one day she cried "put my book down, stop touching it" for 40 minutes (me looking in a children's atlas mil bought for her to see if it would work for our geography lesson) and then she spent 6.5 hours doing about 2.5 hours of school work on Friday repeatedly slamming books closed, throwing her pencil and exclaiming "I don't get it" but never being able to specify what "it" was (this was throughout different subjects and assignments).

Ugh...this too shall pass....I'll just keep repeating that as much as possible.



Quoting TidewaterClan: I sincerely hope she never says that. Your children couldn't ask for a better & more caring mother than you.

It's working well, especially since it's only 5 minute increments. Older dd owed my three hours today and we got a TON of cleaning done.


Quoting TJandKarasMom: This is so exactly my DD and she is only 10.5! We have a long way to go....the icing on the cake is that she is not my biological child! She is DHs and her mother hasn't been in the picture at all for two years now. I am just waiting for the "you're not my mother!" comments to start :(. I know it's coming.

I may consider this HS detention....I like how you have it so its cleaning on the weekends, since I work this could work for us too.

Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it!

Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?


Quoting coala:

Sounds like you found something that is working. 

I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!

ambcortez
by Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 12:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Mine write lines for afterschool work if the day doesn't go smoothly due to distractions they're causing. I like the idea of the cork board though. I think if they see the rules, they'll be less likely to act up, haha. 

KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 3:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Thanks, and by all means steal my ideas freely because I've gotten them by stealing them off of others.

Supernanny had a show once about severely picky eaters and she suggested the kids make charts of the food groups and pick snacks from different groups. She also assigned the kids one night per week to plan, shop for, and help make a healthy meal.

They also got to add picture of new foods they tried to a board. She also took them to a huge farmers market and they just enjoyed the day and sampled stuff.

Quoting TidewaterClan: These are wonderful ideas Krissy! I'm going to use them if you don't mind. My youngest likes salads now, but these are super clever ways to make other veggies fun.

Quoting KrissyKC: That is tough about the veggies. My now 6 yr old ate only brocolli or corn until we planted a few veggies. Especially "her" cucumbers. She wouldn't eat them before we grew our own.

She is still a little picky, but she devours salads with a variety of greens (artisan lettuce, dandelion greens, spinach, raw kale) and she will eat a whole plate of sliced cucumbers with ranch dip now.

My older kids have been getting excited about the anatomy subject we have been studying and have been eating better based on learning how nutrition affects his body.

I set things up for a build your own salad and put some interesting fact or two about the options on index cards. Sometimes they still refuse to eat it, but usually they are willing to put at least a sample of the new items on their salad.

If all else fails, the occassional gently worded bribe works.

I set a platter of raw cut veggies on the table and announce that when the tray is gone, we will make berry sundaes.


Quoting coala:

I honestly think she is testing us...we are coming up on the 2 year mark of her living with us.  It has been over a year since she has seen or talked to her bio mother.  Her bio father is in prison.....all of this is hard on this child.  I think she is testing to make sure that we aren't going to throw her away like her bio parents have.  It is hard some days and others not so much.  Then you factor in the stress level that is rising because she is going to a MAJOR skating competition in Atlanta this next weekend and her coach is pushing her to skate harder (because she just hasn't been giving it her all for 2 mos).  I think it is all just getting to her.  We are going to take some time off come summer....when her season is over.  I don't want to pull her and right now with regionals quickly approaching we are under fire with her skating.  Her coach even wants to partner her with a male friend of hers to have them skate a relay together....but she has to bring it up a notch because he is giving it everything and she is so/so.  UGH!!  Is how I feel most days after practice because she has SO MUCH untapped potential that she is wasting.

Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it!

Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?


Quoting coala:

Sounds like you found something that is working. 

I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!

kirbymom
by Sonja on Mar. 17, 2014 at 3:21 PM
Oh that is wonderful! Hooray! Now come set me up for our school! :)
TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:17 PM

Vent away!  I don't blame you since that had to be frustrating for girls and parents.  Hopefully the upcoming one is conducted in a more professional manner since it's so big.

Quoting coala:

I will once we get back.  She did a local league meet....her and my SO.  He placed 2nd in his age division in the rookie class, and she got 3rd in her age division in rookie class.  She should have placed 2nd, but there is a LONG list of issues I had with that meet....one of them being that they didn't call any problems with the better racers that needed calling, but made the kids who have just started racing..rerun a race because the lap counter couldn't keep track and rang the bell a lap early.  All the girls skated the correct number of laps, but they had to redo that race anyways.  My DD finished 3rd in that race and 2nd the first time through.  UGH!  Ok, I'm done venting and will hopefully have some pictures of this next race for everyone.

Quoting TidewaterClan:

Wow that's huge.  I'm sure once it's actually happening she'll relax, but that has to be a lot to think of ahead of time.  I'm looking forward to hearing all about it once you guys get to go!

Quoting coala:

This is the biggest.....more than 33 teams from across the US and 350 skaters at last count and continuing to grow.  We have been to local meeets where the team count hasn't exceeded 10 and not more than about 200 skaters.  We are going to meet some pro skaters as well.  I'm getting excited, but I really think she is feeling the pressure.

Quoting TidewaterClan: That does sound like she is feeling anxious. You guys have done other competitions if I remember right. Is this one the biggest? Have all the skating buddies been talking about it?
Quoting coala:

I honestly think she is testing us...we are coming up on the 2 year mark of her living with us.  It has been over a year since she has seen or talked to her bio mother.  Her bio father is in prison.....all of this is hard on this child.  I think she is testing to make sure that we aren't going to throw her away like her bio parents have.  It is hard some days and others not so much.  Then you factor in the stress level that is rising because she is going to a MAJOR skating competition in Atlanta this next weekend and her coach is pushing her to skate harder (because she just hasn't been giving it her all for 2 mos).  I think it is all just getting to her.  We are going to take some time off come summer....when her season is over.  I don't want to pull her and right now with regionals quickly approaching we are under fire with her skating.  Her coach even wants to partner her with a male friend of hers to have them skate a relay together....but she has to bring it up a notch because he is giving it everything and she is so/so.  UGH!!  Is how I feel most days after practice because she has SO MUCH untapped potential that she is wasting.

Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it! Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?
Quoting coala:

Sounds like you found something that is working. 

I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!





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