Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms
My 12 year old has been getting overly sarcastic and giving me a hard time lately. I know it's just part of growing up, but she wouldn't shut her eyes for 10 minutes or walk out on a public school class so I had to do something.

Two weeks ago we implemented the "Homeschool Detention Program" and it's working wonderfully! The girls and I made a list of rules: no laying down during class, no yelling during class, no playing with the dogs, etc. and posted them on our cork board. Every infraction equals 5 minutes of detention. Detention equals helping me clean on the weekend with absolutely NO grouching.

My house is much cleaner and older dd has a nicer attitude too, believe it or not! :)
by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 5:56 PM
Replies (31-38):
TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:22 PM

One of my friends has a son who doesn't deal well with any sort of difference in his day.  He breaks down and cries.  I know she was at a loss for awhile, but it's slowly getting better.  I hope it gets better for you all too. 

Quoting TJandKarasMom: It's been going on longer than the new job situation...DH just found out Friday morning about it and we didn't really say anything that the kids could hear until at least that evening. I've noticed it's much worse on days we have something scheduled (dance, co op, etc). I'm wondering if there is some social anxiety, but it also happens on days with no plans. And some days when I have to leave for work (especially my earlier days) she has a rough time as well. She has some autistic tendencies and one of the biggest is having trouble with transitions. I try to make things a routine and warn her when there's going to be a change, but sometime it seems better to just tell her at the last minute.
Quoting TidewaterClan:

Has she just recently started to respond like that?  Could she be nervous about your husband's new job/their changed schedule?  I hope that settles down once everyone acclimates to the change.  

Quoting TJandKarasMom: Thank you, that is really sweet of you to say. Most days I certainly don't feel like mother of the year. But I am hoping I am doing enough to counteract the horrible feelings of abandonment DD must have. 5 minutes is good, it's not a crazy amount, but it's really on them how much they accrue! My fear is that the second I mark down or point out that she just got 5 more min, it would be a total meltdown. Last week on two separate days: one day she cried "put my book down, stop touching it" for 40 minutes (me looking in a children's atlas mil bought for her to see if it would work for our geography lesson) and then she spent 6.5 hours doing about 2.5 hours of school work on Friday repeatedly slamming books closed, throwing her pencil and exclaiming "I don't get it" but never being able to specify what "it" was (this was throughout different subjects and assignments). Ugh...this too shall pass....I'll just keep repeating that as much as possible.
TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:25 PM

I felt like I was just nagging over the same things too many times before it was in writing.  It helps having it spelled out in black and white (or blue ink anyhow!).

Quoting ambcortez:

Mine write lines for afterschool work if the day doesn't go smoothly due to distractions they're causing. I like the idea of the cork board though. I think if they see the rules, they'll be less likely to act up, haha. 


TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:29 PM

Thank you!  Those are great ways for the girls to feel empowered, plus I can tie in money/budgeting since little dd's next math chapter is over money.  They get excited when they've helped with our meals and can tell dh all about it.

Quoting KrissyKC: Thanks, and by all means steal my ideas freely because I've gotten them by stealing them off of others. Supernanny had a show once about severely picky eaters and she suggested the kids make charts of the food groups and pick snacks from different groups. She also assigned the kids one night per week to plan, shop for, and help make a healthy meal. They also got to add picture of new foods they tried to a board. She also took them to a huge farmers market and they just enjoyed the day and sampled stuff.
Quoting TidewaterClan: These are wonderful ideas Krissy! I'm going to use them if you don't mind. My youngest likes salads now, but these are super clever ways to make other veggies fun.
Quoting KrissyKC: That is tough about the veggies. My now 6 yr old ate only brocolli or corn until we planted a few veggies. Especially "her" cucumbers. She wouldn't eat them before we grew our own. She is still a little picky, but she devours salads with a variety of greens (artisan lettuce, dandelion greens, spinach, raw kale) and she will eat a whole plate of sliced cucumbers with ranch dip now. My older kids have been getting excited about the anatomy subject we have been studying and have been eating better based on learning how nutrition affects his body. I set things up for a build your own salad and put some interesting fact or two about the options on index cards. Sometimes they still refuse to eat it, but usually they are willing to put at least a sample of the new items on their salad. If all else fails, the occassional gently worded bribe works. I set a platter of raw cut veggies on the table and announce that when the tray is gone, we will make berry sundaes.
Quoting coala:

I honestly think she is testing us...we are coming up on the 2 year mark of her living with us.  It has been over a year since she has seen or talked to her bio mother.  Her bio father is in prison.....all of this is hard on this child.  I think she is testing to make sure that we aren't going to throw her away like her bio parents have.  It is hard some days and others not so much.  Then you factor in the stress level that is rising because she is going to a MAJOR skating competition in Atlanta this next weekend and her coach is pushing her to skate harder (because she just hasn't been giving it her all for 2 mos).  I think it is all just getting to her.  We are going to take some time off come summer....when her season is over.  I don't want to pull her and right now with regionals quickly approaching we are under fire with her skating.  Her coach even wants to partner her with a male friend of hers to have them skate a relay together....but she has to bring it up a notch because he is giving it everything and she is so/so.  UGH!!  Is how I feel most days after practice because she has SO MUCH untapped potential that she is wasting.

Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it! Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?
Quoting coala:

Sounds like you found something that is working. 

I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!



TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:30 PM

I'd love to!  I'll be right up after school tomorrow!

Quoting kirbymom: Oh that is wonderful! Hooray! Now come set me up for our school! :)


KickButtMama
by Shannon on Mar. 18, 2014 at 9:59 AM
1 mom liked this

 This wouldn't work for us, since my kids have tons of chore....my litte slaves.. whahahahha

TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 18, 2014 at 2:56 PM
Lol, that's funny.

Mine have always done light chores. The house needs more frequent cleanings since we've started hs so this system really is a win-win. For me anyhow. :)


Quoting KickButtMama:

 This wouldn't work for us, since my kids have tons of chore....my litte slaves.. whahahahha

KickButtMama
by Shannon on Mar. 18, 2014 at 2:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Lol, my dad always used to comment on the 'stuff' in my house and I was forced to explain, again & again, that I have all the normal kid stuff AND all the school stuff. And most kids have messy rooms and they aren't even home most of the day! 

My poor kids have always had to alternate nights for doing dishes, vacuuming, kitty litter, etc. 

Quoting TidewaterClan: Lol, that's funny. Mine have always done light chores. The house needs more frequent cleanings since we've started hs so this system really is a win-win. For me anyhow. :)
Quoting KickButtMama:

 This wouldn't work for us, since my kids have tons of chore....my litte slaves.. whahahahha


TidewaterClan
by on Mar. 18, 2014 at 3:03 PM
Chores are good and I absolutely agree with you too.

Mine get to clean up the yard where the dogs play. :). Good times!


Quoting KickButtMama:

Lol, my dad always used to comment on the 'stuff' in my house and I was forced to explain, again & again, that I have all the normal kid stuff AND all the school stuff. And most kids have messy rooms and they aren't even home most of the day! 

My poor kids have always had to alternate nights for doing dishes, vacuuming, kitty litter, etc. 

Quoting TidewaterClan: Lol, that's funny.

Mine have always done light chores. The house needs more frequent cleanings since we've started hs so this system really is a win-win. For me anyhow. :)


Quoting KickButtMama:

 This wouldn't work for us, since my kids have tons of chore....my litte slaves.. whahahahha

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN