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Do You Think This Dad Did the Right Thing?

Dad Files a Restraining Order Against a 9-Year-Old Who Punched His Son

by Kiri Blakeley

A concerned father may have found the most ingenious solution of all time to having his kid being bullied -- he filed a restraining order against the 9-year-old he says was bullying his son. While this might sound like yet another case of a parent being overprotective and stepping in to fight battles that should best be left to the kids, the dad says he did this as a "last resort," and that he had "tried everything else," and yet the school district was still ignoring him.

Authorities say this is the first time they'd heard of a restraining order granted against a child -- though there is no law against it. Other parents are saying that the dad isn't teaching his son to function in the "real world" and that you can't go around filing restraining orders against everyone you have an issue with.

Presumably, the man's son is the same age as the so-called bully, and this is an age where kids still need their parents to step in and protect them if need be. But it's also a fine line -- kids need to learn how to deal with negative and sometimes downright demoralizing situations. But do they have to learn how to "deal" with physical abuse?

I don't think that physical abuse or long-term psychological abuse should be part and parcel of going to school -- or living at home, or going to work for that matter. Yes, you do have to learn how to deal with difficult personalities, and kids should be taught that as well. But there's a difference between dealing with a kid who is nasty to you -- and one who punches you in the face and seems to have gotten away with it.

But if a kid is constantly in danger of being abused, or is being threatened, then I see no reason why a restraining order can't be a last resort protective measure. Even against a kid.

Video here

Do you think this dad did the right thing or is he being overprotective?

by on Mar. 24, 2014 at 3:36 PM
Replies (11-20):
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 6:35 PM
2 moms liked this

If the school had just dealt with the problem to begin with, all of that could have been avoided.

Quoting hwblyf:

Now I hear what you're saying.  Unfortunately, though, for the one with the protective order against him, you're now talking about getting into the criminal system, and I don't believe any 9 yo belongs there.  Shame on the school for derelict of duty!

Quoting bluerooffarm:

Maybe I didn't explain well enough.  I mean they are going to give him (the one who has the OoP) crappy classes and not care about which electives he asks for in order to keep HIM away from the bully instead of taking it out on the bully.  They'll tell the teachers to make sure they are kept apart and the teachers will do strange things like not allowing him to go to the restroom in case the bully is in the hallway.  The teachers and admins are not trained to deal with the situation so instead of learning about it, they'll take things out on the "one with the problem."

Quoting hwblyf:

I don't have a problem with them busting their asses to keep them separate.  When I was in 8th, I was shoved into lockers, pushed violently into the sidewalk, had my shoes ripped off my feet and thrown away, my books taken and thrown away, and obscenities yelled at me across the classroom.  And administration had the balls to ask if my teacher was aware of the problem (after being made aware of the above).  There's a problem with sweeping things under the carpet.  And had they taken this seriously and tried harder to begin with, legal enforcement might not have been whipped out.  But think about it....how many people do you know who have to fight for their behavior plans or IEPs to be followed?  How many have to have "advocates" to help them navigate the school BS?  It's sad, upsetting, reprehensible, but legal ramifications have a way of making people do what they should have done.  The one who will suffer, truly, is the one with the order against him.  

Quoting bluerooffarm:

Hmmm... yeah, but how will the school be able to enforce it?  It sounds like they'll have a scheduling nightmare on their hands.  When that happens, it usually backfires.  Since this boy has the restraining order (and then in their mind "the problem") they may ignore his ducational needs in order to keep their classes apart.  

Quoting hwblyf:

Do you think maybe that this was done more as a way to get the school to actually respond to the situation?  If he's tried "everything" and the district/school isn't responsive, this may have been a way to legally force them to get off their duff and pay attention to this problem.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.





drinkme8184
by Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 7:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Is anyone else sick of almost all news being in video now?  I wish I could click on a link and READ the actual story instead of having to watch it.

kirbymom
by Sonja on Mar. 24, 2014 at 8:19 PM
Wow. I don't know what to think. I have been sitting here trying to think about this and still have not come up with what I think about this article. I am going to think on this some more.
KickButtMama
by Shannon on Mar. 24, 2014 at 8:22 PM

Absolutely! If nothing else it makes the adults aware of the parameters that are truly acceptable. And maybe the child will wake up and realize bullying is not the right was to go.

bcogoli
by Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:56 AM

My 5yo has apergers and he was being tormented in school. There was a kid in his class who is outright mean and no matter how many times I talked to the school they just said " were working on it and we will speak with his parents" My son can not understand that this child was hurting him and he was not his friend. We actually looked into possibly getting a restraining order on the kid in his class. We ultimately decided to home school for this and other reasons. I can only imagine how horrible it must have been for this child's dad to get a restraining order against another child. I really hope that this family can find some peace and that the bully gets some help.

seximami111
by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 12:13 PM

I think he did what he needed to do. If he's tried everything he could and the school still ignored the issue (basically refusing to keep his son safe and deal with the bully) then he found another way. Good for him. 

chotovec82
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 12:23 PM
Sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do. I know that I as bullied severely in school. I wish that my mom would have had the idea to file restraining orders against the people who bullied me.

Howver stories like this make me so glad that I homeschool. Seems like a lot of kids are assholes.
mem82
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 12:24 PM

I think that if it was the right thing to do if it was an ongoing problem.

mem82
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 12:27 PM

Stop using logic right now! It has no place here! You rabble rouser, you!

Quoting bluerooffarm:

If the school had just dealt with the problem to begin with, all of that could have been avoided.


kirbymom
by Sonja on Mar. 25, 2014 at 1:54 PM
A restraing order means serious business. For anyone who feels they must travel down this path. Especially as this kind of thing follows the person whom the restraining order is on.

As for whether or not I agree with this dad's actions, I think he did what he felt he had to do in order to get the attention his situation was calling for since it was being ignored. I wonder what were all the actions this dad did before he came to this decision? Did he go to the other boy's parents and talk to them himself?
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