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Do You Think This Dad Did the Right Thing?

Dad Files a Restraining Order Against a 9-Year-Old Who Punched His Son

by Kiri Blakeley

A concerned father may have found the most ingenious solution of all time to having his kid being bullied -- he filed a restraining order against the 9-year-old he says was bullying his son. While this might sound like yet another case of a parent being overprotective and stepping in to fight battles that should best be left to the kids, the dad says he did this as a "last resort," and that he had "tried everything else," and yet the school district was still ignoring him.

Authorities say this is the first time they'd heard of a restraining order granted against a child -- though there is no law against it. Other parents are saying that the dad isn't teaching his son to function in the "real world" and that you can't go around filing restraining orders against everyone you have an issue with.

Presumably, the man's son is the same age as the so-called bully, and this is an age where kids still need their parents to step in and protect them if need be. But it's also a fine line -- kids need to learn how to deal with negative and sometimes downright demoralizing situations. But do they have to learn how to "deal" with physical abuse?

I don't think that physical abuse or long-term psychological abuse should be part and parcel of going to school -- or living at home, or going to work for that matter. Yes, you do have to learn how to deal with difficult personalities, and kids should be taught that as well. But there's a difference between dealing with a kid who is nasty to you -- and one who punches you in the face and seems to have gotten away with it.

But if a kid is constantly in danger of being abused, or is being threatened, then I see no reason why a restraining order can't be a last resort protective measure. Even against a kid.

Video here

Do you think this dad did the right thing or is he being overprotective?

by on Mar. 24, 2014 at 3:36 PM
Replies (31-37):
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh no!  I really hate to hear how people are similar to me in that respect.  I'm so sorry to hear it.  :-(

Quoting kirbymom: Rightfully so! Did I tell you how similar we are?
Quoting bluerooffarm:

Yeah, I obviously have issues about restraining orders.

Quoting kirbymom: How horrible! :(
Quoting bluerooffarm:

The terms are used interchangeably here and there is only the one really.  I was raped by my boyfriend and there was no protection for me since I did not live with him.

Quoting SarahNElijah: I believe an Order of Protection and a Restraining Order are two different things.. The Order of Protection only applies for domestic abuse, and can usually be filed under "emergency" status, meaning it goes into effect immediately. A restraining order takes several weeks, must go through court, etc. and does not have to be domestic in nature. I used to be an Office Manager for a Senior Legal Services in California for four years, so we dealt with these pretty often.. It could be different from state to state, but I would be shocked to hear that a state offered no ROs for those facing a stalker or other non-domestic issue, know what I mean?! :-/
Quoting bluerooffarm:

Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.


kirbymom
by Sonja on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:46 AM
Yeah, when they went to arrest him, he disappeared like a thief in the night.


Quoting bluerooffarm:

Oh no!  I really hate to hear how people are similar to me in that respect.  I'm so sorry to hear it.  :-(

Quoting kirbymom: Rightfully so! Did I tell you how similar we are?


Quoting bluerooffarm:

Yeah, I obviously have issues about restraining orders.

Quoting kirbymom: How horrible! :(


Quoting bluerooffarm:

The terms are used interchangeably here and there is only the one really.  I was raped by my boyfriend and there was no protection for me since I did not live with him.

Quoting SarahNElijah: I believe an Order of Protection and a Restraining Order are two different things.. The Order of Protection only applies for domestic abuse, and can usually be filed under "emergency" status, meaning it goes into effect immediately. A restraining order takes several weeks, must go through court, etc. and does not have to be domestic in nature.

I used to be an Office Manager for a Senior Legal Services in California for four years, so we dealt with these pretty often.. It could be different from state to state, but I would be shocked to hear that a state offered no ROs for those facing a stalker or other non-domestic issue, know what I mean?! :-/


Quoting bluerooffarm:

Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:03 PM

They never even tried to arrest him.  There couldn't possibly be a case since I was on BC.  :/

Quoting kirbymom: Yeah, when they went to arrest him, he disappeared like a thief in the night.
Quoting bluerooffarm:

Oh no!  I really hate to hear how people are similar to me in that respect.  I'm so sorry to hear it.  :-(

Quoting kirbymom: Rightfully so! Did I tell you how similar we are?
Quoting bluerooffarm:

Yeah, I obviously have issues about restraining orders.

Quoting kirbymom: How horrible! :(
Quoting bluerooffarm:

The terms are used interchangeably here and there is only the one really.  I was raped by my boyfriend and there was no protection for me since I did not live with him.

Quoting SarahNElijah: I believe an Order of Protection and a Restraining Order are two different things.. The Order of Protection only applies for domestic abuse, and can usually be filed under "emergency" status, meaning it goes into effect immediately. A restraining order takes several weeks, must go through court, etc. and does not have to be domestic in nature. I used to be an Office Manager for a Senior Legal Services in California for four years, so we dealt with these pretty often.. It could be different from state to state, but I would be shocked to hear that a state offered no ROs for those facing a stalker or other non-domestic issue, know what I mean?! :-/
Quoting bluerooffarm:

Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.


paganbaby
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:06 PM

I agree with him. If the school isn't going to do anything, he didn't have a choice.

kirbymom
by Sonja on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:22 PM
OMG! Really? What does that have to do with reprehensible behaviour and unwanted and forced attention?
THIS is just one of the very many reasons I consider the government to be useless. :(


Quoting bluerooffarm:

They never even tried to arrest him.  There couldn't possibly be a case since I was on BC.  :/

Quoting kirbymom: Yeah, when they went to arrest him, he disappeared like a thief in the night.


Quoting bluerooffarm:

Oh no!  I really hate to hear how people are similar to me in that respect.  I'm so sorry to hear it.  :-(

Quoting kirbymom: Rightfully so! Did I tell you how similar we are?


Quoting bluerooffarm:

Yeah, I obviously have issues about restraining orders.

Quoting kirbymom: How horrible! :(


Quoting bluerooffarm:

The terms are used interchangeably here and there is only the one really.  I was raped by my boyfriend and there was no protection for me since I did not live with him.

Quoting SarahNElijah: I believe an Order of Protection and a Restraining Order are two different things.. The Order of Protection only applies for domestic abuse, and can usually be filed under "emergency" status, meaning it goes into effect immediately. A restraining order takes several weeks, must go through court, etc. and does not have to be domestic in nature.

I used to be an Office Manager for a Senior Legal Services in California for four years, so we dealt with these pretty often.. It could be different from state to state, but I would be shocked to hear that a state offered no ROs for those facing a stalker or other non-domestic issue, know what I mean?! :-/


Quoting bluerooffarm:

Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:25 PM

Yep.  It's a big part of the reason I have issues with government, doctors and law enforcement.  I have a lot of issues.  LOL :-)  It was an abusive boyfriend, so the BC was proof that I was only "crying rape" after I "gave it up too soon."  Like I said, issues.

Quoting kirbymom: OMG! Really? What does that have to do with reprehensible behaviour and unwanted and forced attention? THIS is just one of the very many reasons I consider the government to be useless. :(
Quoting bluerooffarm:

They never even tried to arrest him.  There couldn't possibly be a case since I was on BC.  :/

Quoting kirbymom: Yeah, when they went to arrest him, he disappeared like a thief in the night.
Quoting bluerooffarm:

Oh no!  I really hate to hear how people are similar to me in that respect.  I'm so sorry to hear it.  :-(

Quoting kirbymom: Rightfully so! Did I tell you how similar we are?
Quoting bluerooffarm:

Yeah, I obviously have issues about restraining orders.

Quoting kirbymom: How horrible! :(
Quoting bluerooffarm:

The terms are used interchangeably here and there is only the one really.  I was raped by my boyfriend and there was no protection for me since I did not live with him.

Quoting SarahNElijah: I believe an Order of Protection and a Restraining Order are two different things.. The Order of Protection only applies for domestic abuse, and can usually be filed under "emergency" status, meaning it goes into effect immediately. A restraining order takes several weeks, must go through court, etc. and does not have to be domestic in nature. I used to be an Office Manager for a Senior Legal Services in California for four years, so we dealt with these pretty often.. It could be different from state to state, but I would be shocked to hear that a state offered no ROs for those facing a stalker or other non-domestic issue, know what I mean?! :-/
Quoting bluerooffarm:

Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.


SarahNElijah
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 10:53 PM
1 mom liked this
That is so awful. :-( I am so sorry! :-(

Quoting bluerooffarm:

The terms are used interchangeably here and there is only the one really.  I was raped by my boyfriend and there was no protection for me since I did not live with him.

Quoting SarahNElijah: I believe an Order of Protection and a Restraining Order are two different things.. The Order of Protection only applies for domestic abuse, and can usually be filed under "emergency" status, meaning it goes into effect immediately. A restraining order takes several weeks, must go through court, etc. and does not have to be domestic in nature.

I used to be an Office Manager for a Senior Legal Services in California for four years, so we dealt with these pretty often.. It could be different from state to state, but I would be shocked to hear that a state offered no ROs for those facing a stalker or other non-domestic issue, know what I mean?! :-/


Quoting bluerooffarm:

Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.

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