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A laugh for all my crunchy mamas~10 things I never thought I would say as a (natural) parent

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Natural Parents Network: 10 Things I NEVER Thought I Would Say as a (Natural) Parent

Parenting changes us. Things never even considered for conversations slip past our lips. When you step out of mainstream a bit, things tend to sound just a little stranger, until you realize they are just another part of your new life.

Natural Parents Network: 10 Things I NEVER Thought I Would Say as a (Natural) Parent

That is not a bath toy!
I know. It is squishy and pliable. It looks like a cup. And it is. Yourmenstrual cup. How do they always find that thing? All the more reason to boil it before and after use.

Don’t flush!
This one is twofold. Most people know the “If it’s yellow, let it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down,” right? But then you add in usingfamily cloth, and we are in a whole new ball park of DON’T FLUSH.

You may not have milkies and cookies!
Extended nursing has many joys and sorrows. But I don’t think any of us ever thought we were going to need to limit children in this manner! Just a little food hidden in their cheeks and YOWZERS. Biting, the food particles, just ouch.

Natural Parents Network: 10 Things I NEVER Thought I Would Say as a (Natural) Parent

That diaper is so cute!
Who knew we could trade our personal style in for {affiliate link} adorable patterns for our children’s backsides? Cloth diapers have shot past the age of plastic pants and into the world of designer fabrics and personalized appliques. But, we save so much by not using disposables, right?

No penises or vulvas at the dinner table!
If you are working to honor a child’s need to be clothing-free, there comes a time when limits need to be set for the comfort of the whole family. It is easy to say “clothes are required when leaving the house,” but this was one limit that I didn’t ever think I would have to set.

I couldn’t live without my carrier.
Babywearing is the second most important tool in my parenting kit. Physical contact with our children is important no matter their age, but those early days/weeks/months/years are especially important for them. Soft structure, wraps, slings, so many choices and I can never seem to have too many. I can only image how wonderful it would be if I had to carry around twins!

Natural Parents Network: 10 Things I NEVER Thought I Would Say as a (Natural) Parent

I can’t believe the placenta is almost gone!
It seems every mom I know who has gone the route of placenta encapsulationspeaks highly of it. So highly, that many of them have a little cache of capsules hiding away in their fridge or freezer just in case they find themselves in an especially horrible PMS phase or even for pre-menopausal use.

Do you want some breastmilk for that?
It is called liquid gold for more than just nutritional or comfort reasons. It also does the trick for some amazing alternative uses. I would rather not discuss how many times have I gotten a strange look for offering some to a nonlactating friend dealing with pink eye in the family.

Where is the coconut oil?
No other substance gets used in any room of the house like coconut oil. Dry skin, rashy butts, sexual lubricant … the list really does go on and on.

The baby needs to go potty!
Elimination communication was the probably the FARTHEST thing from my mind when it came to parenting. But, fewer diaper changes won out after we learned that even brand new babies know, and can show you, that they are about to pee or poop.

 
What kind of things have you said that were beyond your wildest, pre-child imagination?

by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 11:22 AM
Replies (11-20):
KickButtMama
by Shannon on Mar. 28, 2014 at 9:53 PM

Ok I confess to most of those, especially when my boys were young....but placenta encapsulation? I've never even heard of it? And I use sea sponges instead of the menstural cup ;)

KickButtMama
by Shannon on Mar. 28, 2014 at 9:56 PM


Quoting bluerooffarm:

LOL!  Those were great.  But we planted our placenta (in the orchard with a fruit tree) no capsules for me (shivers just a bit).  LOL  And I use momma clothes instead of a cup.  Okay TMI, huh?  Oh and the no penises at the table!!  ARRGH!!  That one gets me all. the. time!

Lol, I had to make a rule of covering the privates at the table....I can only imagine the ouch is if something hot (or cold) dropped there..lol..did you make your mama cloths? I'm thinking of switching from sea sponges.





bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 11:14 PM


Quoting KickButtMama:

Quoting bluerooffarm:

LOL!  Those were great.  But we planted our placenta (in the orchard with a fruit tree) no capsules for me (shivers just a bit).  LOL  And I use momma clothes instead of a cup.  Okay TMI, huh?  Oh and the no penises at the table!!  ARRGH!!  That one gets me all. the. time!

Lol, I had to make a rule of covering the privates at the table....I can only imagine the ouch is if something hot (or cold) dropped there..lol..did you make your mama cloths? I'm thinking of switching from sea sponges.




I bought mine from a local lady.  I love them!

I agree the ouch factor is a big deal.  I can't imagine dropping hot butter!  Yikes!

SarahNElijah
by Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 11:38 PM
Five and a half applied to me in the past, but I don't have any little ones anymore, so now the breastfeeding, breastmilk for everything, cloth diapers, and using a carrier are a thing of the past.. Coconut oil is still used in every room, and I use mama cloth instead of a cup..

The 1/2 was we did EC with Nai for the first 6 months or so, and then we went out of town and lost our rhythm. :)
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paganbaby
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:24 PM

I remember when ds had cookie in cheeks *Ouch!* Ever since then I did a mouth check,lol.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

I'm not crunchy, so the only one that resonates me is regarding the breastfeeding. I do EBF (although not child weaning; I'm going to wean my youngest by 2), and I can attest to that he bites when he comes to nurse with a mouthful of food.

Otherwise, though, not crunchy at all.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














paganbaby
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:24 PM

How do the sea sponges work?

Quoting KickButtMama:

Ok I confess to most of those, especially when my boys were young....but placenta encapsulation? I've never even heard of it? And I use sea sponges instead of the menstural cup ;)




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














KickButtMama
by Shannon on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:40 PM

They are essentially the natural substitute to tampons. http://jadeandpearl.com/sea-pearls-sea-sponge-tampons/

Quoting paganbaby:

How do the sea sponges work?

Quoting KickButtMama:

Ok I confess to most of those, especially when my boys were young....but placenta encapsulation? I've never even heard of it? And I use sea sponges instead of the menstural cup ;)


paganbaby
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:44 PM

Thanks!

Quoting KickButtMama:

They are essentially the natural substitute to tampons. http://jadeandpearl.com/sea-pearls-sea-sponge-tampons/

Quoting paganbaby:

How do the sea sponges work?

Quoting KickButtMama:

Ok I confess to most of those, especially when my boys were young....but placenta encapsulation? I've never even heard of it? And I use sea sponges instead of the menstural cup ;)




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














jakana2369
by Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 4:48 PM
1 mom liked this
I have said alot of off the wall things but most of these have never came out of my mouth nor do I know what some of them are.

Its funny! The one saying I have said a few times at an over crowded park. "If you came out of my uterus lets go" it works great. Tell the one kids that is not mine said what a uterus is.

Quoting kirbymom: I have never heard of these, let alone say them. lol
Guess I am weird. :)
kirbymom
by Sonja on Mar. 30, 2014 at 6:13 PM
Forgive my ignirance her but, Are you really supposed to use those just like a tampon?



Quoting KickButtMama:

They are essentially the natural substitute to tampons. http://jadeandpearl.com/sea-pearls-sea-sponge-tampons/

Quoting paganbaby:

How do the sea sponges work?

Quoting KickButtMama:

Ok I confess to most of those, especially when my boys were young....but placenta encapsulation? I've never even heard of it? And I use sea sponges instead of the menstural cup ;)

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