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My 7 year old hates the police now. What do I do? Update in Red

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2014 at 12:59 PM
  • 87 Replies
2 moms liked this

First, thank you so much to all of you who were supportive! Everyone one else, kiss my butt *Ahem* I mean thanks for bumping my thread ;-)

I talked to dd today. Well basically I lied to her... I told her that I called the animal police again and the officer said he was so sorry Emily got hurt. That the man was very wrong but sadly because of the law there's nothing he can do. He said to buy her a special leash (A tie out lead line) so she can still be in yard but be safe. Kind of like a life jacket. That way, if anyone were to try to hurt her again, he would come out and take care of it for sure! He wanted her to know that officers are still the good guys and to please give a wave when she sees them around. (She used to love waving at them)

After talking to her, I could see the relief on her face. She just nodded her head and said okay. Then we went out today and bought two 15 ft lead lines so the girls can still go potty outside "leashed" Always supervised of course.

A few days ago our dog was attacked by our neighbor. (Full story here) 

I of course called the police who referred me to ASPCA. After telling them the story, I was told that the man was within his rights. If anything I might be fined for not leashing the dogs in my own courtyard. I was so upset. I still am.

The kids asked what the police were going to do. I told them that because Emily wasn't wearing a leash, it wasn't illegal for the man to hurt her. The only way we can protect her is keep leashes on them whenever we leave the house. MZCMy kids were angry. 7yo dd especially so. She said, "But it was wrong for him to hurt Emily." "Why aren't they doing anything?" Then she went on a long rant about how unfair it was. That the police were wrong and how would they feel if their dog was hurt? She says she hates the police now and I don't want that.

What it comes down to is morality verses legality. How do I teach that to my daughter when I don't always understand it myself?

by on Apr. 5, 2014 at 12:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
luvemboth
by Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 1:17 PM
4 moms liked this
That's tough, I'm so sorry. I'd explain to dd that the officer's job is to make sure people obey the law, they don't get to pick the laws. The officer may have completely disagreed with what the neighbor did, but legally he can't do anything about it, even though he might wish he could. Maybe show her videos of officers doing good to restore her trust in them. Hugs.
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paganbaby
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 1:26 PM

The thing is, and I didn't tell her this, is that the officer was 100% on the man's side. She was not a very nice person. She even told me that she knew I'd do the same thing if the roles were reversed.

I do like what you said though. I can tell her that most police officers do feel that way and I can show her videos. 

Thanks :-)

Quoting luvemboth: That's tough, I'm so sorry. I'd explain to dd that the officer's job is to make sure people obey the law, they don't get to pick the laws. The officer may have completely disagreed with what the neighbor did, but legally he can't do anything about it, even though he might wish he could. Maybe show her videos of officers doing good to restore her trust in them. Hugs.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














hwblyf
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 1:41 PM

Officers are peope, too, and are entitled to their opinions.  But like luvemboth said, they don't get to pick the laws, just enforce them.  There are good laws and bad laws (look for funny/outrageous laws for some examples of doozies), and there are HUGE miscarriages of justice, that sometimes fall into the category of perfectly legal.  GM admitted to having faulty equipment in their vehicles and killed more than 10 people and injured many more, but because of the laws, they owe NOTHING to the families of those killed/injured.  But in the long run, we'd rather have police than not, I think.  But to a 7 yo, that may just sunk twinkies right now.

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 1:46 PM

That's crap!

But I think I may do this too just to show her some silly laws that we have. 

Quoting hwblyf:

Officers are peope, too, and are entitled to their opinions.  But like luvemboth said, they don't get to pick the laws, just enforce them.  There are good laws and bad laws (look for funny/outrageous laws for some examples of doozies), and there are HUGE miscarriages of justice, that sometimes fall into the category of perfectly legal.  GM admitted to having faulty equipment in their vehicles and killed more than 10 people and injured many more, but because of the laws, they owe NOTHING to the families of those killed/injured.  But in the long run, we'd rather have police than not, I think.  But to a 7 yo, that may just sunk twinkies right now.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














Jenn8604
by Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 1:50 PM
Female cops are bitches end of story.

Quoting paganbaby:

The thing is, and I didn't tell her this, is that the officer was 100% on the man's side. She was not a very nice person. She even told me that she knew I'd do the same thing if the roles were reversed.

I do like what you said though. I can tell her that most police officers do feel that way and I can show her videos. 

Thanks :-)

Quoting luvemboth: That's tough, I'm so sorry. I'd explain to dd that the officer's job is to make sure people obey the law, they don't get to pick the laws. The officer may have completely disagreed with what the neighbor did, but legally he can't do anything about it, even though he might wish he could. Maybe show her videos of officers doing good to restore her trust in them. Hugs.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
paganbaby
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 2:04 PM

Okay I really wanted to say that but I didn't want to be offensive. I'm sure this is a gross generalization but in my personal experience, female officers are the meanest most unforgiving ones I've ever come across. I don't know why.

Quoting Jenn8604: Female cops are bitches end of story.
Quoting paganbaby:

The thing is, and I didn't tell her this, is that the officer was 100% on the man's side. She was not a very nice person. She even told me that she knew I'd do the same thing if the roles were reversed.

I do like what you said though. I can tell her that most police officers do feel that way and I can show her videos. 

Thanks :-)

Quoting luvemboth: That's tough, I'm so sorry. I'd explain to dd that the officer's job is to make sure people obey the law, they don't get to pick the laws. The officer may have completely disagreed with what the neighbor did, but legally he can't do anything about it, even though he might wish he could. Maybe show her videos of officers doing good to restore her trust in them. Hugs.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














kirbymom
by Sonja on Apr. 5, 2014 at 2:07 PM
Oh no! That's terrible! And a tough place to be in when trying to keep positive in front of children. Especially our own.
paganbaby
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 2:10 PM

It is! As much as I wanted to scream and rant in front of the kids I had to keep it as calm and matter of fact as I could. 

Quoting kirbymom: Oh no! That's terrible! And a tough place to be in when trying to keep positive in front of children. Especially our own.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














hwblyf
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 2:29 PM
1 mom liked this

It is crap.  The worst part is that laws are written to protect the majority, to be black and white.  Good and bad.  There are no shades of gray.  Our interpretations of laws should be the gray that we all need, but you get those with a stick up their butt.  And that's why you obey the letter of the law.  I have to say, though, that after reading your original story, I can't believe that they would say him going  back to his apartment and coming back several minutes later with none of his family in tow, weapon in hand, clearly looking to do damage, is not considered assualt.  He was not in fear of his life, he was returning and looking to inflict harm.  That's not defense.  NOT NOT NOT.

Quoting paganbaby:

That's crap!

But I think I may do this too just to show her some silly laws that we have. 

Quoting hwblyf:

Officers are peope, too, and are entitled to their opinions.  But like luvemboth said, they don't get to pick the laws, just enforce them.  There are good laws and bad laws (look for funny/outrageous laws for some examples of doozies), and there are HUGE miscarriages of justice, that sometimes fall into the category of perfectly legal.  GM admitted to having faulty equipment in their vehicles and killed more than 10 people and injured many more, but because of the laws, they owe NOTHING to the families of those killed/injured.  But in the long run, we'd rather have police than not, I think.  But to a 7 yo, that may just sunk twinkies right now.


Mommy2Desiree
by on Apr. 5, 2014 at 2:39 PM
3 moms liked this

AS my husband is a police officer I know first hand how important it is to remind our children that law enforcement officers are not the bad guys. They need to understand that they are there to help. 

That being said, all you can do is explain to your children that there are certain things the police can not get involved in due to their restrictions from their superiors.
There are leash laws to protect animals and citizens. Yes, animals do get off their leashes, we expierienced that in our personal home. A person has the right to forcibly remove an unwanted animal off their proerty, or to defend themself if they feel threatned by the animal. Unless ther is proof of this person intentionally hurting your dog, for no reason, there is nothing anyone can do. 

 And for the record, the judgement of female cops is reserved to the few you've dealt with. We have wonderful female officers in our area. 

                      ♥ LIZ & DESIREE ♥


"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I'm out of control and at times I'm hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe

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