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Math Battles every.single.day..help me please

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Seriously every day math is a battle.  I have tried everything I can think of.  We started MUS recently, DD is 10.5 5th grade, this is our first year hsing.  I have tried many different methods and MUS is finally one that seems to work, but I am wondering if I let her start too far ahead.  I let her start with Delta (division).  She does not have all of her multiplication facts memorized, but I had kind of come to terms with the fact that she probably never will. 

We started the year with a text book, adjusted it almost immediately, then ditched it completely.  We have tried math games, Khan academy, we did a math journal for geometry which she enjoyed but still complained about.  She cannot deal with criticism, every time I try to show her something is wrong she starts throwing a fit.  She won't admit she's wrong, and refuses to listen at first.  I end up engaging most of the time even though I try very hard not to engage with her being argumentative and just rude. 

MUS was working, now she is at lesson 17 and it's getting hard, before this it was mostly review and it went well.  It now takes her an hour or more to complete one worksheet.  She does everything possible to stay distracted and not focus. 

I have her doing review on Mondays, so she does a 'test' from MUS and then something to review multiplication.  Yesterday she chose not to do the math game I left for her, so she started with that this morning.  She was so mad that I was making her review, she thinks she doesn't need it, but the reasonw e are doing it is because she really does need it.  I have explained repeatedly that it is not a punishment, it's supposed to be a fun way to practice.  I have explained that knowing multiplication facts makes division soooo much easier.   

It basically comes down to she hates math and just wants to refuse it no matter what I do.  I have tried everything to make it fun and enjoyable for her, and she still has a fit.  So I hate putting in extra effort when she refuses to even try :(

I am just tired.  I don't know what else to do.  Should I get MUS Gamma (multiplication) and make her do that instead of the division?  Should I just have her practice/review more instead of moving forward in Delta? 

*I am not ok with her just not doing math.  We feel math is too important to not have to learn it.  I also don't want to switch curriculum again, I am ok with switching things up a couple days a week, but I can't keep buying her new curriculum when one gets too hard.

by on Apr. 8, 2014 at 7:22 PM
Replies (11-20):
Bleacheddecay
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 10:46 PM

Could she have a math disability? My son did and we had battles like this. I started letting him do less and show me he understood. That helped some.

Is your child a perfectionist? That's something you need to work on. It can get really bad. My girl was like that.

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 12:45 AM
Is she dyslexic? I think you've been concerned about that before.
My dyslexic dd had a terribly hard time with multiplication facts, despite being mathy. As a result, division was torture. I would recommend backing up. Have you seen Diane Craft's right brain multiplication cards?
jen2150
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:30 AM
1 mom liked this
I would concentrate on her fits first. Sounds like she is frustrated. When I was using a traditional method I had one rule you complain and I will give you more work but if you voice your problem in a respectful manner then I will listen. Teach her to communicate her problem respectfully. Sometimes that means telling her exactly what she should say. Figure what method works better for her. What are her strengths? What does she like to do the most? Multiplication takes time. My son only recently got it down pat. He is in the 6th grade. He can't just memorize them. I started him on multipication but just picked the lesson that was where he was at. Maybe she needs to understand why math is useful. Show her how math is everywhere. Look for fun math stories to read. Life of fred, penrose the mathematical cat, and many others are a good way to start. start involving her making goals and deciding what you work on for math. Maybe set some choices for her to work on. Encourage her to come up with her own. I really do hope you find something that work for you guys. Treat any rudeness as seperate from math and school.
TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:57 AM

Not a perfectionist at all.  She really doesn't care if anything she does is perfect.

She could be dyslexic, I have tested her and am pretty sure she is.  This could be why she gets frustrated.  Sometimes her answers can be blamed on being dyslexic, other times it can be blamed on just rushing through because when I ask her she is able to fix it. 

I think it mostly comes down to hating math and having a hard time accepting any kind of criticism.  The problems really come when she has to fix mistakes.

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

Could she have a math disability? My son did and we had battles like this. I started letting him do less and show me he understood. That helped some.

Is your child a perfectionist? That's something you need to work on. It can get really bad. My girl was like that.


TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:59 AM

I think she is dyslexic, I've tested her, but haven't had her professionally tested.

I will look for those cards, I hadn't heard of them before.  I may just go ahead and back up.  I'm wondering if I should invest in MUS at the multiplication level or stick with worksheets. 

Thanks for the help, as usual :)

Quoting AutymsMommy: Is she dyslexic? I think you've been concerned about that before. My dyslexic dd had a terribly hard time with multiplication facts, despite being mathy. As a result, division was torture. I would recommend backing up. Have you seen Diane Craft's right brain multiplication cards?


No_Difference
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 8:04 AM
1 mom liked this

At the end of the day, regardless if Jamie earns more than 2 hrs of tech time, she only gets the 2, and the remainder goes over to weekend tech time. So if Monday she earned 3 hrs, Tuesday she earned 4 hrs (its happened once!) Wed she earned 2 1/2 hrs etc... she'd have 3 1/2 hrs total weekend time at that point that she can spend during the weekend how ever she sees fit. However, once Monday rolls around, all "roll over time" is deleted, it doesn't get put towards the next weekend. 

Once we started doing this, the first week was awful and she didn't have ANY time at all, and we had to add in another clause to the contract that if she gets into negative time, than she owes me x amount of hard labor time (extra chores from my list typically).  She had to do two extra chores, and she has never gone negative again lol. Jamie is going through that testing her boundaries phase too and I couldn't handle it any more so I just threw the book towards her and told her if she didn't want my help she could do it herself out of frustration. It was a happy accident in the end. 

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I am liking your ideas a lot.  My kids get 2 hours of tech time if they get their schoolwork done.  I like assigning a time limit and taking extra minutes used off of tech time.  I also really like the idea of her correcting her own math.  We have the teach manual with answers, so that is easy enough for her to do.  I think I may try this tomorrow and see if it helps.  Maybe if she marks her own stuff she won't be as offended and angry.

Thanks for the ideas!!

Quoting No_Difference:

my daughter is 9 and we're doing that book this year too. The only difference is, Jamie loves math,  BUT she still likes to drag her feet horribly at times. We made a "contract" which applies to all school work, but it has helped tremendously. She gets an hour of "tech time" - but it could be anything at all that she likes doing - at the start of every day. Each subject gets a certain amount of time. I allotted 1/2 hr for math, even though she gets it done in 15 minutes typically. If she goes over the 1/2 hr, she loses time from her hour - how ever much longer it took her. If she finishes faster, then she gets the remainder time added to her hour. That way, it is entirely on her. Also, I started letting Jamie check her answer with a different color pen, so I was no longer the bad guy. Then we'd go over on the board the ones she did wrong. She'd show me how she did the problem, and we'd discuss where she went astray. It has helped with the attitude immensely!



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Bleacheddecay
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 9:27 AM

Could be dyscalculia.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

Not a perfectionist at all.  She really doesn't care if anything she does is perfect.

She could be dyslexic, I have tested her and am pretty sure she is.  This could be why she gets frustrated.  Sometimes her answers can be blamed on being dyslexic, other times it can be blamed on just rushing through because when I ask her she is able to fix it. 

I think it mostly comes down to hating math and having a hard time accepting any kind of criticism.  The problems really come when she has to fix mistakes.

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

Could she have a math disability? My son did and we had battles like this. I started letting him do less and show me he understood. That helped some.

Is your child a perfectionist? That's something you need to work on. It can get really bad. My girl was like that.



mem82
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 9:38 AM

Is she getting therapy for the dyslexia? Frustration from that could bleed over into every thing she does.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I think she is dyslexic, I've tested her, but haven't had her professionally tested.

I will look for those cards, I hadn't heard of them before.  I may just go ahead and back up.  I'm wondering if I should invest in MUS at the multiplication level or stick with worksheets. 

Thanks for the help, as usual :)

Quoting AutymsMommy: Is she dyslexic? I think you've been concerned about that before. My dyslexic dd had a terribly hard time with multiplication facts, despite being mathy. As a result, division was torture. I would recommend backing up. Have you seen Diane Craft's right brain multiplication cards?



TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Apr. 9, 2014 at 10:10 AM

She doesn't get anything for dyslexia, just me adjusting her lessons based on it.  I have lowered my expectations and taught her everything else in different ways.

I think she may also have ADD, so I am looking into some natural ways to try to help with that.

Quoting mem82:

Is she getting therapy for the dyslexia? Frustration from that could bleed over into every thing she does.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I think she is dyslexic, I've tested her, but haven't had her professionally tested.

I will look for those cards, I hadn't heard of them before.  I may just go ahead and back up.  I'm wondering if I should invest in MUS at the multiplication level or stick with worksheets. 

Thanks for the help, as usual :)

Quoting AutymsMommy: Is she dyslexic? I think you've been concerned about that before. My dyslexic dd had a terribly hard time with multiplication facts, despite being mathy. As a result, division was torture. I would recommend backing up. Have you seen Diane Craft's right brain multiplication cards?



mem82
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 10:15 AM
1 mom liked this

I strongly urge you to get professional help for the dyslexia. Her future employers aren't going to adjust anything for her and lowering your expectations may make her feel like you are dumbing things down to her. This could be a large part of the issues you've been having with her.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

She doesn't get anything for dyslexia, just me adjusting her lessons based on it.  I have lowered my expectations and taught her everything else in different ways.

I think she may also have ADD, so I am looking into some natural ways to try to help with that.

Quoting mem82:

Is she getting therapy for the dyslexia? Frustration from that could bleed over into every thing she does.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I think she is dyslexic, I've tested her, but haven't had her professionally tested.

I will look for those cards, I hadn't heard of them before.  I may just go ahead and back up.  I'm wondering if I should invest in MUS at the multiplication level or stick with worksheets. 

Thanks for the help, as usual :)

Quoting AutymsMommy: Is she dyslexic? I think you've been concerned about that before. My dyslexic dd had a terribly hard time with multiplication facts, despite being mathy. As a result, division was torture. I would recommend backing up. Have you seen Diane Craft's right brain multiplication cards?




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