Well, two days ago she gave me an envelope and said "I got this for you, well your family, from my work auction." It is a family membership to the art museum! DS and DH do not enjoy the art museum at all...but I really felt like it was her way of saying "hsing hasn't been so bad, you're doing ok" and offering a little support!
Maybe just showing her has actually started working! (Maybe DH pointing out that mil went to private school helped a bit too...just the point that her mom did what she thought was best, just like we are doing).