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I don't know what to do

Posted by on Jun. 11, 2014 at 9:31 AM
  • 3 Replies

I have another kid who wants to homechool! I currently only homeschool one, and the decision was a no-brainer because he has a moderate learning disability that the school would not recognize. I wasn't going to go the lawyer route and spend tons of money to get bad services from them anyway, and doing it at home made perfect sense.

Now my older one wants to homeschool. I"m like 95% there with the idea. I've secretly kept a list of curriculum choices thinking about this while homeschooling you youngest all year. I am not totally looking forward to the idea of more work, but I'd actually welcome a little more company for me and younger ds all day. I think it would make participating in local homeschool activites a little easier in some ways. DH is sort of 50/50 on the idea.

Our big fear is the social thing. I know it's been better for younger ds. I think it could be fine for older ds. The problem is less to do with my kids social lives, and I don't buy into the socialization idea of public schol settings being superior or necessary, but it's about our whole family social life to be honest. We have a very small circle and do very, very few social things and have an extremely small extended family too. We don't do much. We don't get out with other people. We are loners. My kids are kind of loners in public school too. They do havea few activities where they fit in just fine and like other kids and get along well - so it's not like we have no social skills!

TO be frank, I secretly hope homeschooling might open up more social doors for me and the kids, an maybe dh too. But dh and I have been honest in our feelings that some people we know surely think it's "weird" and we might lose a few folks we like along the way.

Kind of related, is a terrible trend I've noticed. I am in an on-line moms group. We've known each other since trying to get pregnant. Many I've met in person. Some live across the country form me. We all share personal info and are facebook friends... anyway, as many of us now have pre-teens and young teens, I am astounded at the number who have kids with mental health issues. Some are becoming very serious. Some have reported kids talking about suicide, cutting, anxiety attacks so severe the kids freeze and are immobile and the school has to call 911, kids being admitted into treatment facilities and now one diagnosed with bipolar. This is a group of 100 women, and I'd say 20 kids are diagnosed with something and on some psychiatric drug. And many more if you add in the ADHD kids - diagnosed and drugged. Something is NOT right! I really lean toward thinking the public school environment is a huge factor, plus sociatal factors. Maybe I"m wrong. Maybe it's just that our doctors "know more" now and can more accurately diagnose (this is what the moms in the group claim. Sounds to me llike hooey and a good way to drum up patients and make money in the medical fields). Maybe it's chemicals in our environment.

All I know is, I'm not convinced keeping my oldest in school is best for his mental health and growth. But I"M still a little afraid to move fowrad in a new direction. I'm not convinced it's great for my daughter either, but she is INSISTANT that she stay in school. Girls seem to thrive on the social aspect and I think it's all geared toward their style of learning anyway.

Sorry such a ramble. Any thoughs are welcomed! 

by on Jun. 11, 2014 at 9:31 AM
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by on Jun. 11, 2014 at 12:50 PM
1 mom liked this
You can be as social as you want and that is right for your family. My kids and I are very social and we do a lot of field trips and activities. I love seeing new things. I think having friends is important for kids espeically as they get older. I don't think it needs to be a daily occurance though. Homeschooling is great because you can choose activities that are just right for you. I am sure your kids would love to spend more time together especially is one is asking to homeschool. I homeschool two boys and they are very close. I know many homeschooling friends that have one child and it some ways it is harder. It is just a different set of challanges.
by Jinx on Jun. 12, 2014 at 12:12 PM
You sound just like me! I pulled my middle DS for the same reason.

However, when I announced to the the kids that I was homeschooling DS2, DS1 begged, cried and plead to stay home too. He was bullied a lot more than I knew about.

DD would rock public school. I am seriously debating sending her to the school. Since we moved, we are zoned for the best elementary school in the area. She is very opposed to leaving the homeschool charter we use. She loves her Classical Monday class.
by on Jun. 14, 2014 at 2:36 PM

Older children usually know what they want to do when you place options in front of them and thier grades will show of things are working out. However, I totally agree with you about children who are out of place and just want them medicated and hoping it will erase the problem and not dealing with it.

The problem I am having with my son is that he's ADHD and has aniety disorders that keep him from staying on track and doesn't have a learning disablilty so the school told me time and time again that he isn't going to qualify for special ed or a para because he doesn't fall into a "category". He doesn't do well with being told something once because he gets too distracted and because of that he's slipping through the cracks and not getting the attention from teachers that he needs. I got of wishy-washy messages from teachers and he was being kept from social activities at school. So i have a huge problem with some schools not wanting to deal or cope with it, rather just ignore it and just let the parents carry the full load when they get home, emotionally and homework wise.

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