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Ceating " Me Time " is as important as creating ....

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2014 at 7:37 PM
  • 12 Replies

 

It's "me" time, not "mom" time
Jul 16, 2012

Sarah Caron is a Connecticut-based freelance writer and editor. She lives with her wonderful husband, two adorable kids and two funny beagles. Check out her food blog at Sarah's Cucina Bella.

How to reclaim your identity

 
When you become a mother, your kids' lives become your own, particularly in the early years. But there will come a time when you're ready to extricate yourself from being a mom 24/7.

Find out the importance of calling it "me time" rather than "mom time" (you're on "mom time" all the time!), and hear from experts about how to maintain the mother-child bond, while also indulging the mother-woman balance.

Why "me time"?

Becoming a mother didn't change who you are. While you are now responsible for tiny humans, you are still a woman, a thinker and so much more. It's key that you strike a balance between your mother-child time and your me-time so both thrive.

Moms need to take time for themselves, pure and simple. Remember what you used to love before kids? It's still OK to love those things now.

"Mom time" vs. "Me time"

"Mom time" starts when the kids wake up and continue until the last stray sock is tossed in the laundry basket at night. "Mom time" is what you have when you are carpooling and fixing lunches and curing boo-boos with a kiss. And that's wonderful.

But sometimes, you just need to be you. That's why taking a little "me time" away from the kids and responsibilities is so important too (not just to you either - to the kids too). And do call it "me time" - because it's about you.

 

"I have a strong philosophy that if Mom isn't happy then the children won't be happy. Take 10 minutes to meditate, get a quick 10-minute back massage at the local nail salon, look through a magazine, or even take 10 minutes to make a phone call to a friend, completely unrelated to work, just to say hi. This time will rejuvenate you and allow you a much needed break," says Lyss Stern, founder of Divalysscious Moms and author of If You Give a Mom a Martini, which was recently optioned to be a movie.

Besides the benefits for your psyche, it's also good for the kids to see you taking care of yourself. "They will mirror the behaviors of those around them so the best way to help them learn to go after their dreams is to do it yourself! Show them that it's OK to have interests and goals and to go after them," says Kristen Brown founder/president of Happy Hour Effect.

Read the hardest part about being a mom >>

Getting time to yourself

Stern says that a little as 10 minutes can be enough to recharge your internal batteries. The key is to stay away from mothering duties and do something just for you.

"I always say being a mom is the hardest job in the world! We are constantly juggling a lot of balls at once trying not to let one drop. However, I truly believe that we have to find balance in our lives, which for most of us is very hard," says Stern. "Sometimes I wake up an hour before my boys to go exercise, or meditate. I make an effort with my husband to have a date night once a week to talk about other things in our lives besides the boys. Of course we discuss the boys on our date night, we also talk about work, our interests, other things that are going on."

If finding time and help is a challenge, don't be afraid to ask for assistance. "It's truly all about finding the balance that works for you. I always say ask for help, ask a neighbor, a friend, a family member, a babysitter - you need to find time for you," says Stern.

Don't feel guilty

Feeling guilty about wanting to take "me time"? Don't! We know it's important to maintain the mother-child bond, but it also makes you a better mom when you have that balance between your mothering duties and your personal wants.

"In today's world mommy and daddy guilt runs rampant. We feel guilty for working all week so [then we] feel bad finding babysitters for our kids so we can take me-time for ourselves," says Brown. "But taking me-time to pursue your dreams benefits kids because when they spend time with other caregivers, they are learning to forge new one-on-one relationships with others."

Tell us

What do you do for "me time"? Do you take time for yourself to pursue the things you love?

 

 

 

 

 

More on me time

Ways for single moms to find some "me time"
How to sneak in a little me time
4 Ways to take some me time this summer

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

by on Aug. 17, 2014 at 7:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Leissaintexas
by Bronze Member on Aug. 22, 2014 at 2:39 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm going to have to disagree. Being mom IS who I am. I'm not saying I never take breaks, but to separate "mom" and "me" is dividing who I am. It just makes it sound as if you must be one or the other, and maybe that's why some moms feel burn out. They haven't embracd all that they are and must put different values on their different roles.
coala
by Silver Member on Aug. 22, 2014 at 8:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I do make "me" time.  It is really important for me and my family that I get a break to just be "me".  I hold so many roles at home that I need to find "me" sometimes.  I've even done a girls weekend away and it was totally amazing.  I left my kids and responsibilities at home for 3 days.....I came back rejeuvenated.  I'm going to try and do this once every 6 mos or so.....it can be expensive but so worth it.

kirbymom
by Sonja on Aug. 24, 2014 at 11:54 AM
Of course it is who you are. Just not the only you, you are. If I may ask, are you a daughter? Did you stop being a daughter when you became an adult? Of course you didn't. But, you had this need to have something else define yourself other than being a daughter. Then the same thing happens again when becoming a gf or fiance then wife then a mother. Each of these are who ee are but sometimes we need to find a place where we can just focus onthe part of you that was first. The individual part of you.
Most of us find that when we take some time to re-energize that part of ourselves, we energize all parts by osmosis.
At least that is my perview. :)


Quoting Leissaintexas: I'm going to have to disagree. Being mom IS who I am. I'm not saying I never take breaks, but to separate "mom" and "me" is dividing who I am. It just makes it sound as if you must be one or the other, and maybe that's why some moms feel burn out. They haven't embracd all that they are and must put different values on their different roles.
kirbymom
by Sonja on Aug. 24, 2014 at 12:00 PM
I love when I get rejuvenated and have a freshness to put into everything I do, including how I respond in all of my relationships. My family and even the select few friends seem to respond in a more upbeat positive manner. I say..do what works for the whole family.

Quoting coala:

I do make "me" time.  It is really important for me and my family that I get a break to just be "me".  I hold so many roles at home that I need to find "me" sometimes.  I've even done a girls weekend away and it was totally amazing.  I left my kids and responsibilities at home for 3 days.....I came back rejeuvenated.  I'm going to try and do this once every 6 mos or so.....it can be expensive but so worth it.

JIJsMom
by on Aug. 24, 2014 at 12:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I get "me time" every night. I'm all set!
kirbymom
by Sonja on Aug. 24, 2014 at 12:19 PM
Awesome! What is it you do for your *me time*?

Quoting JIJsMom: I get "me time" every night. I'm all set!
JIJsMom
by on Aug. 24, 2014 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this
I listen to Music, read, watch TV/movies, write, blog, surf the web, play video games or play pool online..lol.

Quoting kirbymom: Awesome! What is it you do for your *me time*?

Quoting JIJsMom: I get "me time" every night. I'm all set!
kirbymom
by Sonja on Aug. 24, 2014 at 12:48 PM
1 mom liked this
Lol .. like me!
do you have a sort of routine that you go by, do the same thing each time or does it depend on the mood you're in!?


Quoting JIJsMom: I listen to Music, read, watch TV/movies, write, blog, surf the web, play video games or play pool online..lol.

Quoting kirbymom: Awesome! What is it you do for your *me time*?

Quoting JIJsMom: I get "me time" every night. I'm all set!
JIJsMom
by on Aug. 24, 2014 at 12:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Sweet! :)
It depends on my mood, really..and what's on TV, lol. I'll watch TV all night if I need to catch up on shows or just don't feel like doing much else.

Quoting kirbymom: Lol .. like me!
do you have a sort of routine that you go by, do the same thing each time or does it depend on the mood you're in!?


Quoting JIJsMom: I listen to Music, read, watch TV/movies, write, blog, surf the web, play video games or play pool online..lol.

Quoting kirbymom: Awesome! What is it you do for your *me time*?

Quoting JIJsMom: I get "me time" every night. I'm all set!
kirbymom
by Sonja on Aug. 24, 2014 at 1:06 PM
1 mom liked this
Nice! I am the same way! Lol. I have tried to do the same thing as last time but it wouldn't work. I quickly learned that I felt better if I went by my mood at that moment.

Quoting JIJsMom: Sweet! :)
It depends on my mood, really..and what's on TV, lol. I'll watch TV all night if I need to catch up on shows or just don't feel like doing much else.

Quoting kirbymom: Lol .. like me!
do you have a sort of routine that you go by, do the same thing each time or does it depend on the mood you're in!?


Quoting JIJsMom: I listen to Music, read, watch TV/movies, write, blog, surf the web, play video games or play pool online..lol.

Quoting kirbymom: Awesome! What is it you do for your *me time*?

Quoting JIJsMom: I get "me time" every night. I'm all set!
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