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Not on board

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2017 at 7:37 PM
  • 8 Replies
I homeschool my soon to be five year old and he's doing great he loves to learn. We have a few bumps here and there but nothing major. But lately he's been asking about going to school and his dad is insisting we should homeschool him for kinder only and put him into public school! This has been an ongoing discussion for a few months, any other mamas have partners not on board with homeschooling? I'm really frustrated and it doesn't help that he has my son wanting it and asking as well. *sigh*
by on Apr. 10, 2017 at 7:37 PM
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LostTheSlipper
by Group Admin on Apr. 10, 2017 at 8:31 PM

There is another woman whose husband gives her trouble now and then. ..precious-something maybe? Hopefully she'll post to help you out.

That said, maybe find out WHY your son wants to go to school.

Is he watching TV and thinking it's like it is on there? (My son once asked me about food fights, thinking they were normal and allowed in the cafeteria because of what TV showed them to be. I'm like, "Dude, you'd get in big trouble if you ever started throwing food in school." He was amazed that it's not really allowed.) Does he just want to ride the school bus? Does he think it's all fun and games?

Find out what it is that is making him interested in going and see if you can find a way to have it at home, if possible. A class once a week might fulfill his need to be with other kids in a classroom setting. Here we have a PE group that meets every week so the kids can do different sports while hanging out with other kids.

As for your husband, success/progress is probably the best way to convince him to keep your DS homeschooling.  Maybe let him see what his son knows (sometimes men are clueless in this area, I know miy husband used to choose to be lol.) Maybe plan lots of fun experiments/projects and your son's excitement when he gets to share it with Daddy will speak for itself.

AutasticMomx2
by Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:51 PM
Honestly, if your partner isn't on board with homeschooling, you need to seriously consider other options. He is the parent too.
Leissaintexas
by Silver Member on Apr. 11, 2017 at 9:25 AM
Anytime the other parent is opposed to homeschooling, it's often because of misconceptions about home education and lack of awareness of what actually goes on in PS. As with anything, research is beneficial. If you've not already joined a HS group, I suggest you do. Making the HS community your own and letting him get to know the families helps him see the big picture. It allows him to see for himself the benefits of it. Communicating with other HS dads could clear up a lot of the misgivings he may have.

If he's not supportive of it, you'll never have a moment's peace in your marriage.
IHNWCC
by on Apr. 11, 2017 at 3:49 PM

Hi!  I am glad to hear that homeschooling has been going well for your family. I would definitely suggest having a healthy discussion with your son and husband about their thoughts on homeschooling and why they prefer public school.  Really listen to their point of view to see where they are coming from.

Have you and your family ever been to a homeschooling conference?  This might be a good way to expose your husband and son to fellow homeschoolers.  You can google homeschool conferences in your area.  My family and I have been to the Teaching Them Diligently and Great Homeschool conferences.  It is always nice to see so many other families who are experiencing homeschooling too.  The many speakers could provide answers to questions your husband and son might have as well as encouragement for the whole family.  Vendors also set up at the event, so your family could experience the many curriculums and fun opportunities for homeschoolers. 

I pray you and your family can come to a compromise that will work for your family.

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Apr. 13, 2017 at 4:19 PM

Not necessarily. My husband is completely supportive of homeschooling... but if he were to insist one of the children go to brick and mortar school, it would be because he believed it to be in the best interest of either the child or me, for whatever reason. Some husbands are capable of understanding that homeschooling doesn't work for every child -- just as public school doesn't work for every child. 

I agree, though, that if he isn't on board, you won't have a moment's peace in your marriage. And you don't want this to be a hill to die on. I promise. Ninety-percent of the time, if divorce happens, courts will side with the most popular option and force the child to go to public school -- then there's no win. 

Quoting Leissaintexas: Anytime the other parent is opposed to homeschooling, it's often because of misconceptions about home education and lack of awareness of what actually goes on in PS. As with anything, research is beneficial. If you've not already joined a HS group, I suggest you do. Making the HS community your own and letting him get to know the families helps him see the big picture. It allows him to see for himself the benefits of it. Communicating with other HS dads could clear up a lot of the misgivings he may have. If he's not supportive of it, you'll never have a moment's peace in your marriage.


I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Apr. 13, 2017 at 4:21 PM

This is a great suggestion -- if her and her husband are of the evangelical Christian variety. If they aren't, attending one of the more popular conferences will only run her husband off. 

We're Catholic. I attend local conventions only for the vendor hall. I've seen the lists of key speakers and if I were to have my husband (also Catholic) attend any of them to "see how homeschooling really is," he would run for the hills, lol. Some of the speakers are speaking on entirely academic subjects, but the majority of them really, really push the worldview aspect. 


Quoting IHNWCC:

Hi!  I am glad to hear that homeschooling has been going well for your family. I would definitely suggest having a healthy discussion with your son and husband about their thoughts on homeschooling and why they prefer public school.  Really listen to their point of view to see where they are coming from.

Have you and your family ever been to a homeschooling conference?  This might be a good way to expose your husband and son to fellow homeschoolers.  You can google homeschool conferences in your area.  My family and I have been to the Teaching Them Diligently and Great Homeschool conferences.  It is always nice to see so many other families who are experiencing homeschooling too.  The many speakers could provide answers to questions your husband and son might have as well as encouragement for the whole family.  Vendors also set up at the event, so your family could experience the many curriculums and fun opportunities for homeschoolers. 

I pray you and your family can come to a compromise that will work for your family.


I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee

gramabrenda
by Member on Apr. 20, 2017 at 4:08 PM

I am glad to hear it has gone well for you to date. Bottom line here is both parents have to be on the same page or willing to compromise for the benefit of the child. You have really gotten some excellent advice on this post.

All of my homeschool family students have had some public/private school experience and are so glad to homeschool. So I can only add what I tell the folks I offer homeschool support. 

1.Try some time homeschooling in a regular school profile. I do this with my grandson when he gets out of whack and I realize we need to tighten up a bit. There are good and not so good things about every model. Hopefully, whatever you do has more good than bad for you. PS All we really have to do for him is to tell him he will have to get up very early, ride the school bus for an hour there and  hour back and then do homework when he gets home and he suddenly decides the rules that make him think we are mean are really not so bad. I think he had the idea that homeschool had no rules.

2. I suggest parents who are not sure do a schedule comparison. When homeschool is out there is no homework. When they have been at school all day, and ridden the bus for ???time, then when they get home there's homework. Lots of parents ask when is there time for family?

3. Make a pro/con listing. This can really be helpful and shows the specific needs of each student and family.

I pray for wisdom and good attitudes. You sound like really caring parents who will do what is best. 

coala
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2017 at 8:32 PM

In regards to the homeschool conferences....I'm looking at attending ours this year.  Most of the speakersare  speaking on whatever topic from a Christian viewpoint.  I'm really excited to go and listen.  I can't hit all of the speakers I want, but I'm going to listen to as many as I can.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

This is a great suggestion -- if her and her husband are of the evangelical Christian variety. If they aren't, attending one of the more popular conferences will only run her husband off. 

We're Catholic. I attend local conventions only for the vendor hall. I've seen the lists of key speakers and if I were to have my husband (also Catholic) attend any of them to "see how homeschooling really is," he would run for the hills, lol. Some of the speakers are speaking on entirely academic subjects, but the majority of them really, really push the worldview aspect. 


Quoting IHNWCC:

Hi!  I am glad to hear that homeschooling has been going well for your family. I would definitely suggest having a healthy discussion with your son and husband about their thoughts on homeschooling and why they prefer public school.  Really listen to their point of view to see where they are coming from.

Have you and your family ever been to a homeschooling conference?  This might be a good way to expose your husband and son to fellow homeschoolers.  You can google homeschool conferences in your area.  My family and I have been to the Teaching Them Diligently and Great Homeschool conferences.  It is always nice to see so many other families who are experiencing homeschooling too.  The many speakers could provide answers to questions your husband and son might have as well as encouragement for the whole family.  Vendors also set up at the event, so your family could experience the many curriculums and fun opportunities for homeschoolers. 

I pray you and your family can come to a compromise that will work for your family.



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