The Project Box

Rules of the house


I've adapted this from an article I read in parenting magazine. It is a list of rules for your kids. I'm going to make it look nice and pretty on some construction paper, and hang it where my kids can see it all the time (even tho the baby is kinda exempt til she's abit older) I think this will help with my slap-dash parenting, as well as make things clear cut for my daughter. I will post again when I see how this works.

   1. If I am working, you are working, or you are out of my hair. Pretty self explanitory. If I am trying to work on something, or clean, or make dinner, you can either help me, or go find something else to do. My daughter loves to follow me around like a lost puppy, and wants to do alot of the things I am doing. This is great, until it's time for me to do something that she can't do, like cook dinner, or clean the bathroom, or I am doing something on the computer. I try to find ways to let her help when I can, but sometimes I have to do things, and can't stop to keep assisting her. So now we will have a set rule, and I will work on enforcing it.
   2. Mommy is off the clock at bedtime. My daughter has taken to getting up multiple times after I put her to bed. She has been very inventive in her excuses as to why she needs to get back up. Well, now mommy has had enough. Of course this will take some work to get put in place. I have started working on enforcing bedtime, but now I'm really going to crack down. Her bed time ritual will include all of the excuses that are feesable, so as to get them out of the way. We will bathe, read our story, go potty, chase the monster out of the closet, then get into bed. I will turn the light on, and the "sleepy music." After that, there will be no more getting out of bed, or I will turn off the light.
   3. You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit. There shall be no substitutions, exchanges or refunds. You will eat what I give you, or not. But if you don't eat it, you will not get anything else until the next meal. No snacks unless you eat all the food on your plate. You will wear what I put on you. No changing outfits unless you get them ligitemately dirty.
   4. We don't argue about money. If I say we are not buying something, that is the end of it. There will be no begging for every little thing at the store. If my child does this, the only answer she will get is, we don't argue about money.
   5. I can't understand you. I will no longer respond to grunts, pointing, whining, or yelling. Until and unless my oldest talks to me in a normal tone of voice, with the clarity she is capable of, my only response will be, I can't understand you. Hopefully this will also encourage her to try to improve her clarity and vocabulary. I think part of the problem is we have allowed her to use baby talk and bad speech habits to much. On my part, I am going to try to model better grammar and pronunciation. When she says something like "Me hungry." I will say "I am hungry." Or if she says a word incorrectly, and I understand what the word is, I will pronounce it correctly, then continue on with the conversation.
   6. Once is enough. My daughter thins that if she keeps asking something over and over again, it will change the answer. From now on, I will only answer her the first time, and then tune her out if she tries to ask again. She also likes to repeat phrases alot. If it is something she wants me to respond to, I will, the first time only.
   7. We will not be ugly.  Ugly behavior will not be tolerated. Destruction of property, meaness towards people and animals, temper tantrums, or any other behavior deemed "ugly" will be delt with as follows. 1st offense gets a warning. 2nd offense gets a time out, to last as long as I deem appropriate for the misdeed. 3rd offense will get you a swat on the butt, plus a time out. Dangerous behavior will elevate you straight to level three punishment. (To spank or not to spank is a personal choice. I choose to use spankings. You don't have to. However, I will not allow anyone to be attacked for their choice, one way or another. All such posts will be deleted.)
   8. One thing at a time. No more multi tasking. If we are eating, we are eating, not playing. We will only play with one set of toys at a time. If you want to play with something else, you will put away the toy that is out. I have my daughter's toys seperated into "categories" and kept in storage containers. This way I can have a few toys out in the living room, and the rest put in the closet. If she wants a toy set from the closet, she has to exchange it for something that is out, or I will choose something and put it away.
   9. If you make a mess, you clean it up. At the end of the day, all toys will be put in their apropriate containers. If you spill something, you will help me wipe it up. If you destroy something, you will help me throw it away, then take your punishment. If you can make the mess, you can clean the mess. If it was the result of an ugly act, you will clean up the mess, and then be punished according to rule 7's guidelines. The items used in the offense may also be taken away for a time to be determined.


If any of you have rules you'd like to suggest, please feel free to post them. I would also love to hear from any of you who would like to try this. This is not a set in stone project. Make any revisions you think are nessicary. Keep us posted on how it goes for you, and what changes you have had to make. Don't be afraid to post concerns or ask for support if you choose to use this concept in your home.

* 100 years from now, it won't matter how big your house was, or what kind of car you drove, but it will matter how you raised your kids.*

ilazria

Wardrobe purge

Have you looked in your closets lately? Holding on to a pile of things you really don't wear, just because? OR maybe you have some things you're holding on to til you can fir them again? Fistandantalus started a great project, urging all of us to just get rid of the redundant!

Holding on to those old, outgrown clothes is only going to make you feel depressed when you look at them and know you can fit them. Instead, take those clothes to Goodwill, and buy a couple of new outfits that fit you well, and make you look and feel great! You don't have to be a size 0 to be a hot mom. I'm currently wearing size 18 jeans, and XL tops. I make myself look and feel sexy by buying clothes that fit me well, and are in the style I love! Check the thrift stores, and the clearence racks at any store, you'll be suprised what you can find!

As for that pile of "scrub clothes." Do you really need them all? Do you find yourself wearing them all of the time? Go through them and get rid of the trashiest of them. Old shirts and sweats can be made into rags and other useful items around the house. Check the Reduce, Reuse, Recycle post for some great ideas!

As for kids clothes, keep the ones worth saving, and either hand-me-down, freecycle, or Goodwill the rest. Or, have a yard sale, and put that new pile of money to good use, like treating the family to dinner or ice cream. Or do something good for yourself! Remember, you deserve a raise and a bonus, just like any other worker!

* 100 years from now, it won't matter how big your house was, or what kind of car you drove, but it will matter how you raised your kids.*

ilazria

Chores earn you points


This morning I announced that we will be using  a point system from now on: Every 4 points earned = 1 minute of computer time (They are always begging to use the computer)
I made a list of chores around the house and assigned points to each, like 5 points for making your bed, 10 points for taking out the trash, etc.  I kept it to 5 or 10 points per chore to make it easy for my 6 yr old to add up and made sure there were enough things that they can do without a problem so they can all earn enough points to get 20-30 min of computer time per day.  So far, they did most of the list within an hour, and I actually accomplished more of my stuff than usual because I didn't have to stop every few minutes to get onto them for trashing a room I just cleaned.  I also threatened to dock points for yelling, fighting, talking back, etc, and you would not believe how nicely everyone is getting along!  We are having a wonderful day so far, I hope this lasts :-)

* 100 years from now, it won't matter how big your house was, or what kind of car you drove, but it will matter how you raised your kids.*

ilazria

Focusing on what you did, and not what you didn't


One of my big hurdles as a stay at home mom has been feelinglike I'm performing well at my job. I have spent far too much time berating myself over all the things I didn't get done that day, instead of thinking about the things I have. I also compare myself unfairly to my husband, who is currently working 4days a week, 40+hrs, and going to school on the other 3 days. I've decided that it is time to put things into perspective.
I bet this is a problem for SAHM's and working moms both. With todays multitasking, supermom mentality, anyone one colapsing on the floor at the end of the day in total exhaustion must be doing it wrong. Well, that's one of the big things I want to change with this group. We do not have to be June Cleaver. We don't have to have spotless houses, neatly groomed children, and stepford wife attitudes.
So lets stop the cycle of negative thinking here. If you find yourself laying in bed, beating yourself up over that pile of dirty dishes, or that last load of laundry you didn't do, stop. Get a piece of paper, and make 2 columns. In the first one, list all the things you are unhappy with yourself for. Get it all out now. Now in the next column, start listing the things you did do that day. Everything from getting the kids dressed, making meals, any cleaning you did, any playing with the kids you did. If you are a working mom, get that down on there, too. You may be surprised at just  how much really did get done. Still not quite sure? Look again at that column of "did's." Is there anything you would have not done, so that you could have instead accomplished a "did not?" What would you have realistically had to give up, in order to have "accomplished" more? Is your family happy? If they aren't giving you grief, why are you giving it to yourself?
If you are berating yourself for having taken a nap, or sat down at the computer, instead of something more important, why? In any other job, you would get breaks, as well as a set number of hours. As a mom, you are working all day, and sometimes into the night. You are entitled to some time to yourself, where you aren't doing "important" things. For many of us, our S.O.'s come home from their jobs, and "need time to unwind." We grant them that, and we should grant it to ourselves.
So, how do you feel about what you've done today? How do you make yourself feel good about your "job performance?" And how do you feel about yourself at the end of the day?

* 100 years from now, it won't matter how big your house was, or what kind of car you drove, but it will matter how you raised your kids.*

ilazria

Accomplish at least 1 productive thing each day, possibly more, and not spend more than 2 hours each day compulsively checking my e-mail or one of the million and one social networking sites to which I belong, including this one.  Or not. 

I'm going to add Finding Your F-Spot to The Project Box.  For those of you who really don't feel like searcing all the posts to find the Finding The F-Spot post I posted a hundred years ago, your F-Spot is the place you get an F for Effort for.  Right now, my F-Spot is Clean Laundry.  I can't seem to get the old brain to connect the dots between Clean And Dry and Folded And Put Away.  I might as well add the master bathroom too, because it keeps cycling between F-Spot and Nice And Clean on a weekly basis.

My major F-spot would be keeping my kids' room picked up and put away and looking decent.

My secondary F-spot would be organization of closets, laundry room, plastic container cupboard, and the flat surface of my table.