Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Lounge The Lounge

Breastfeeding as a weapon. Edit with more info

Posted by on Jan. 13, 2012 at 9:19 PM
  • 797 Replies

 

Poll

Question: So what do you think? Is she using breastfeeding as a weapon?

Options:

Yes. There's no reason she can't pump

No. She's doing what she feels id best for their child.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 1016

View Results

Okay the mom is living with her parents. She doesn't work and had no intention of going back to work in the near future. The dad is complaining that because of the short visitation hours he was given, he'll have to pay more child support than what is fair.

My dh was telling me about a custody case. This guy he works with just separated from his wife. They have a 2 month old together and she has a 6 year old from another relationship. The guy is complaining because the mom won't let him have the baby for more than 4 hours at a time and overnights are a big no no because she's nursing the baby. (She nursed her oldest until he was 2) He says she should just pump. She refuses to.So now they're talking about going to court :-/

So what do you think? Is she using breastfeeding as a weapon?

by on Jan. 13, 2012 at 9:19 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Cheepingmom
by on Jan. 13, 2012 at 9:21 PM
8 moms liked this

I did! My ex-husband was a douche! 

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jan. 13, 2012 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh really?

I'm sorry he was a douche :-(

How old was your baby and how long were you able to use that as an excuse?

Quoting Cheepingmom:

I did! My ex-husband was a douche! 


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Cheepingmom
by on Jan. 13, 2012 at 9:36 PM
11 moms liked this

He left when she was 3 months old...didn't want her til he got a girl friend(about a month later).  I used it until she was about 1 when he knocked his girl friend up and they moved.  Didn't have contact with him until I met my new husband and he adopted my children...the scuzball signed the papers and returned them faster than any person my attny had ever seen!  I breastfed my daughter until she was two...and it wasn't to keep him away, it was because I wanted to! 

Most breast fed babies refuse a bottle...I didnt think she should suffer because he a shitty father.  Think about it, if they were together, the baby wouldn't have to suck a gross old bottle! Daddy would hand her over to momma and she would eat.  If dad wants her longer then they should come up with a plan to let the baby have her breast...and suck it too!

cassnadrajones
by on Jan. 13, 2012 at 9:39 PM
9 moms liked this

Yes, unless there is a medical reason why she can she should either pump or get used to her DD drinking formula while she is with dad. She is selfish.

EDIT: If mom insist on Bfingshe needs to offer up more time with the baby. Instead of one full day, he can just get 5 or 6 four hour days. Her choice, should not interfere with his time.

BTW, if you are going to quote me, do so respectfully. Ive been quoted like 100 times, so please, come with something interesting and not the same old bullsh*t.

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jan. 13, 2012 at 9:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah he sounds like a dick.

I'm glad to hear that they have real dad now!

Quoting Cheepingmom:

He left when she was 3 months old...didn't want her til he got a girl friend(about a month later).  I used it until she was about 1 when he knocked his girl friend up and they moved.  Didn't have contact with him until I met my new husband and he adopted my children...the scuzball signed the papers and returned them faster than any person my attny had ever seen!  I breastfed my daughter until she was two...and it wasn't to keep him away, it was because I wanted to! 

Most breast fed babies refuse a bottle...I didnt think she should suffer because he a shitty father.  Think about it, if they were together, the baby wouldn't have to suck a gross old bottle! Daddy would hand her over to momma and she would eat.  If dad wants her longer then they should come up with a plan to let the baby have her breast...and suck it too!


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jan. 13, 2012 at 9:46 PM
35 moms liked this

Why should her baby be forced to drink formula?? And pumping can lead to supply issues.

Quoting cassnadrajones:

Yes, unless there is a medical reason why she can she should either pump or get used to her DD drinking formula while she is with dad. She is selfish.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

geekmommy84
by on Jan. 13, 2012 at 9:49 PM
2 moms liked this

 tbh no, it could be just that mom is just comfortable nursing baby straight from the tap or could possible have bad experience with pumps. I think its more of a preferance than anything.




(Baby #3  birth plan is up in air, it may be repeat c-sec/vbac)

Kris_PBG
by Representative on Jan. 13, 2012 at 9:52 PM
22 moms liked this
Quoting cassnadrajones:

Yes, unless there is a medical reason why she can she should either pump or get used to her DD drinking formula while she is with dad. She is selfish.





Why should the child be fed a lesser food for dad's convenience?

Without knowing the details I have no idea if mom is using it as a weapon or not.

From what I understand, the arrangement listed above is common in many state courts.

My younger son would NEVER take a bottle, so anything by what is listed above wiukd really not have worked.

It isn't always about the dad or mom-sometimes it is the kid that needs to come first.
cassnadrajones
by on Jan. 13, 2012 at 9:54 PM
13 moms liked this

As much as I want to understand that, I cant. Her choice should not interfere with his rights. There are three real options. She either pumps, baby drinks donor milk for the time being if she can not, or baby drinks formula. He should be able to keep his child over night. I just dont see taking away his rights as an option. She really should try to be more understanding.

Quoting paganbaby:

Why should her baby be forced to drink formula?? And pumping can lead to supply issues.

Quoting cassnadrajones:

Yes, unless there is a medical reason why she can she should either pump or get used to her DD drinking formula while she is with dad. She is selfish.



paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jan. 13, 2012 at 10:00 PM
20 moms liked this

I think the dad should put his baby first. What's best for her? Number 1 donor milk is hard to come by and shouldn't be used if mom is perfectly capable of nursing. Formula is inferior to BM and the baby could be like ds and not take a bottle ever. I went back to work when ds was 3 months old. In that entire time he would not drink a bottle. My mom had to use a dropper so he wouldn't dehydrate.

Quoting cassnadrajones:

As much as I want to understand that, I cant. Her choice should not interfere with his rights. There are three real options. She either pumps, baby drinks donor milk for the time being if she can not, or baby drinks formula. He should be able to keep his child over night. I just dont see taking away his rights as an option. She really should try to be more understanding.

Quoting paganbaby:

Why should her baby be forced to drink formula?? And pumping can lead to supply issues.

Quoting cassnadrajones:

Yes, unless there is a medical reason why she can she should either pump or get used to her DD drinking formula while she is with dad. She is selfish.




Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)