That is a direct quote from a CPS worker that visted our house...on Valentine's Day.
The reason he was here is because we are now being investigated because my wonderful daughter Madison went to school and told the counselor she was spanked by Daddy because she stole her sister's iPod twice. Which was true. He spanked her very lightly twice for stealing and once for lying about stealing it. The CPS guy came to their school on Monday and talked with my younger 3 girls each separately. He freaked them out. They have cried every morning before going to school, and they don't want to play outside because they feel like he will come and take them away from us. He said that he would if Mommy and Daddy weren't nice people.
So now we are investigated because of this. Valentine's Day was not good for us at all. We never even celebrated because we were so stressed. The CPS guy was here for 5 hours asking us questions and looking at our house. He told us that if our downstairs and kitchen aren't spotless the next time he comes that he WILL take our kids. Our playroom and 2 bedrooms are downstairs. Madison's room, Angel and Kiara's rooms, the playroom and a bathroom are down there. He said there should be more food here. We just spent almost $1,000 in food a few days ago *on the 8th*.
He talked to Leigh's cousin and said he will see him at a "family meeting" soon. He never said anything about a family meeting. We will never know before he comes by. We are not sleeping or eating well at all. We are walking on eggshells now. He has 90 days to make his final report. This is only Day 2. This is going to be a long 90 days.
That was my Valentine's Day. This year I am laughing at all of the "He didn't get me S*** for Valentine's Day" posts because we didn't even think about the day while this was all going on. Valentine's Day was ruined for us.
No, we haven't done anything wrong by any other standards, but when the letters C P & S are in succession like that it always strikes fear in the hearts of even the best parents. My mom says not to worry about it, she has our backs *the guy has her number, so he WILL be calling her* but I just can't help it. This guy is trying everything possible to get our kids taken away.
I'm scared.
Thank you for this.
Quoting tandrace:I am sorry this has happened and u will be in my prayers. When my state passed this law it did not stop my form of disclipine which also happens to be resonable (un-abused) spankings. I called a family meeting and discussed this law with my kids. I explained to them consequences that follows actions. Sure, it is normal for kids to get upset with parents and make un-wise decisions. However, I also explained to them the importance of dislipine and love. The two goes together...the bible states "spare the rod; spoil the child" something along that nature. Well, I also helped them to understand the dynamics of what really can follow the wrong choices. There are people out there ready to foster and adopt kids however, just because there initial credentials checks out it means nothing.
Some have been known to molest and severely abuse the kids by the time the law steps in or if the law ever steps in....has mentally scarred the poor child for life. In some cases the kids even die from abuse, this sounds harsh but this is truth. I just had to make sure my kids understand how corrupted this world can be and how important it is to appeciate God blessings if you already have parents who are simply discliping you because they want you to understand the importance of good behavior, character, integrity, choices...in whats right vs wrong.
I explained to them things may seem unfair but they will just have to know with trust that I am purposed to love, train and teach them to become productive kids while transitioning to adult-hood. I tell them they may not understand fully but one day they will say as I have said "I now can see why mom did the things she did and because of that I am a better person today"....it was all LOVE. Because spankings have been known to work much better than grounding for my kid. I always explain what the spanking is for and after she has sulked for awhile we congregate to talk about better choices that will entail favorable consequences instead. I listen to her and she listens to me....mutual respect is shared and given. As kids grow older it is so important to stay in sync with them and share your love. Never one time has my dd even thought to report me because she always understands my position as a parent and her position as a child and she understands a good law from a silly law. Most of all, she understands consequences to actions.
I know! That's what we have been trying to say for months now. There weren't any marks on her. :/
Quoting phatkitty:OMG thats is so wrong and it seems like they are just looking for an excuse to take your kids away..and a spanking is not a reason to take your kiuds away unless they had marks on them geez
Okay, so i worked for twelve years within a large child protective agency as a social worker ( not an investigator). Some of what you are saying, I find very difficult to understand. An investigator has a much shorter window to support or not support an allegation of phyiscal abuse....ususally 1o working days. Second, there is not an investigator on the face of the earth that has five hours to spend in a home. One to two hours would be average,,they are very busy. An experienced investigator would never threaten to remove children based on a less than spotless home or what they perceive to be a lack of food.After all, the concern is abuse not neglect, is that not what you said? Child protective services must go before a judge for a 72 hour hearing if there is an emergency removal of children. I don't know the circumstances of your situation, but I would strongly advise that you become better informed. If your case is supported and you think it is supported unfairly, you can request a fair hearing through the agency,
This is what we have been trying to say forever! Our daughter told the counselor on February 10th. The counselor called them on the 10th. "the guy" came and talked to the girls on the 13th. He came and talked to us on the 14th. We found out "the guy" was a CPS liasion through the police department. He works very closely with CPS but his office is at the police department. So that may be why he was able to spend so much time at our place. I am guessing that he was just intimidating me by telling me more about the house and the food when he was talking to me outside away from my husband. Yes, it's based on their assumption that Madison was spanked 15 times. They took the kids at 7:30pm on March 2nd. We had a "shelter care hearing" on March 7th. We are as informed as we possibly can be. I have inhaled CPS and their proceedings all these months. We have requested many times to have a fair hearing but no one has given us one. I believe that's what Leigh is going to do in August when he goes to court with our lawyer and they will be "tearing apart" the paperwork, but I can't be sure. I have called the caseworker every week several times a week for months now and he has never called me back. His supervisor hasn't either. We've talked to judges, senators, family groups that have been torn apart by CPS, and the next step is the media. We have lots of people in our corner, and we will end up with the kids back.
Quoting maureen813:Okay, so i worked for twelve years within a large child protective agency as a social worker ( not an investigator). Some of what you are saying, I find very difficult to understand. An investigator has a much shorter window to support or not support an allegation of phyiscal abuse....ususally 1o working days. Second, there is not an investigator on the face of the earth that has five hours to spend in a home. One to two hours would be average,,they are very busy. An experienced investigator would never threaten to remove children based on a less than spotless home or what they perceive to be a lack of food.After all, the concern is abuse not neglect, is that not what you said? Child protective services must go before a judge for a 72 hour hearing if there is an emergency removal of children. I don't know the circumstances of your situation, but I would strongly advise that you become better informed. If your case is supported and you think it is supported unfairly, you can request a fair hearing through the agency,
I am sorry but in my state, there is no such thing as a CPS liason. What sort of training do they have and what agency would employ a person such as this. This is so very difficult but if you are getting no response from the assigend social worker of their direct supervisor, take it a step up and go to the area program manager or area director of the agency. Put your questions and concenrs in writing and clearly document your attempts to contact the social worker. Also a fair hearing request is done in writing and often takes months to turn over the decision to name an individual as a perpetrator on the central registry. I hope this is helpful to you.
I'm sorry you are going through that. Usually, cps means trouble but if you are not doing anything wrong, they can't take your kids. I don't see anything wrong with spanking but I know some don't and won't do it. My daughter told me if I spanked her when she was younger she would call cps on me. I told her I was going to bust her ass, call them for her and then bust her ass when they got there........needless to say she changed her mind. A lot of parents get scared when the kids say something like that but you have to call their bluff. I know that's not the case with your kids, but just in general.
Why would he want to have your kids taken away? As long as they are healthy, live in a clean house, and are well taken care of, they don't have a case. They have been called on my daughter numerous times and she is definately not doing anything wrong. Just people that can't mind their own business......
I know this was posted LONG ago but this really angers me!!
WHY does the government get to tell us whether or not we can reprimand our children or even HOW??? THEY are not raising our children and THEY do NOT know what really goes on in our homes. And PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME, MR CPS WORKER, HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU KEEP A SPOTLESS HOUSE WITH CHILDREN?? Oh, let me guess, YOU HAVE NO CHILDREN THEREFORE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF CHAOS THEY CREATE!!
Case workers (or whatever you wish to call the dogs that come out and JUDGE parents) have really begun to overstep their bounds. They think their TITLE entitles them to pass judgement on you based on what little they see in just the FEW MINUTES they are inside the home! I DESPISE CASEWORKERS!! They DON'T know 2% of what they claim on most cases!
As for SPANKING! YOU DARNED RIGHT I DO!! THAT IS MY GOD GIVEN RIGHT!! No, I do not abuse my child but he knows when he's done wrong, he has a spanking coming! I wouldn't live where the state tries to tell me what I can or cannot do! How else do you teach your child(ren) right from wrong?? Go to your room?? "HECK YEAH!! There are toys in there and I can paly!!" Wow!! what a way to punish and teach wrong from right!
I will be praying even though this has been months ago, and to be honest, I hope the caseworker (or whatever he is called) loses his job!!
GOD BLESS!!
Feeling really overwhelmed and down. Have any posts or pics to make me smile?
How old?
- Kmakksmom
on Feb. 16, 2012 at 1:43 PM