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Sorry Kids, Sometimes You Just Don't Come First! Mom Needs Her Sanity, Too!

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It's a truth few moms want to admit: We take shortcuts. Sometimes, we just don't care! It's all about survival.

Do you do any of the things these "Survivor Moms" do to get through the day with your sanity intact? Or do you have any tricks of your own to share, whether they're time-savers or mantras for dealing with any lingering mommy guilt after you've used the TV as a babysitter or fed the kids PB&J for lunch the fourth day in a row?

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by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:42 AM
Replies (101-110):
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 7:23 PM

Breakfast for dinner.

PB&J daily for lunch.

Breakfast for dinner.

On a good day, we will do multiple pages of ds's homework so we can take a night off if I am not feeling "up to doing it" 


by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 7:25 PM

For the most part I do everything to my full ability. But there are days that I have slept in until noon. (DD will sleep with me as late as I want, so I just let her sleep too and skip nap time. 

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I am right there with those woman. I love my daughter and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. But she doesn't ALWAYS come first. I need to take care of me and my sanity every now and then too.

by New Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:01 PM

Often my 5 year old asks for a "butter sandwich" for lunch ( just a slice of bread spread with margarine, sometimes folded sometimes open)...I admit, too many times I let him have it just so I can get lunch over

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:02 PM

sometimes we have dinner for breakfast. espeically if its left over pizza ;) 

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:10 PM

My kids are all adults now but oldest thinks i still have to take care of every want and need, like it's my duty. she tries guilt trips like you dont acare about me etc... so it never gets easier as they get older!!

I agree it sounds dreamy that it gets better in their teens! LOL! Somebody tell my kid that, would ya!

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:21 PM
You don't have to be quite honey. speak your mind. I completely agree with you. When I hear other mothers bitching and complaining about their children. I want to just slap them and tell them to shut the hell up. If you are going to complain so much maybe your shouldn't have had kids in the 1st place. Yes kids can and will be annoying but you know what that's what being a parent is. Put your big girl panties on and deal with it!

by Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:22 PM

It's hard to find people to trust with your kids. WIth my first born I had one friend who I use to let sit her sometimes when I had class, because I use to watch her nephew and knew she did as well (she'd swap out with me while her sister was at work).. so I knew how good she was with kids, but my youngest is impossible to get a sitter for.  She's soo clingy.. so far I've managed 2 hour stretches for appointments and sometimes she won't scream the entire time for my mom (who she knows and is very close with otherwise lol). So yeah, babysitters are almost no go for me.

Quoting Cafe Steph:

I agree with most of your points here, too. I taught my girls to dress themselves pretty early on, helping out by buying things that were easy on/off and putting things in easy reach. I used to have a great neighbor I'd trust my kids with but the ones who moved in after she moved out are awful, so there's just NO way, lol. And bribery, well, I'm sooo guilty of that myself, lol. ;)

Quoting jessi2girls:

some of these I agree with, some I don't:

1)breakfast a few times a week is a bit much, but all of us have our guilt in sometimes going the easy way with a meal here and there.

2)dressing your kids.. okay, this one I do somewhat agree with.. especially when my 16 month old has taken it upon herself to play find the matching shoes!! I've found shoes in the fridge, in the tub, in a dresser..but actually getting them dressed after having their clothes out, isn't hard. My 4year old has dressed herself for some time now.

3)love thy neighbor.. yeah, that doesn't always work! I wouldn't trust my friends to babysit my kids, which is why we often don't meet up WITH our kids. Besides.. I'd have to return the favor.. and while I love my friends, I don't love their kids lol.  I have my mom, and their nana that help out at times, but yeah, if you want to be a TRUE survivor mom, you have to learn to be able to handle going solo at times.

4)the tv/movies/board games, I agree, can be a life saver when you are sick, or even when one of the kids are sick and you need to entertain the other(s).. but mary poppins would bore my children to death! lol. (it's better to just grab a movie trilogy for them).

5)cleanliness.. that I don't agree with.. my youngest is the messiest child when it comes to eating, so bathing is a MUST, daily, sometimes twice a day. I don't wash her hair daily unless it's obviously dirty, because of her hair type..(I go every other day for her).. my oldest, still bathes ever day.. but again, I don't wash her hair daily because of her hair type.. I wash hers every 4-5 days. and myself,  I have to bathe daily... again, becaues of my hair type, I don't wash my hair every time.. but yeah.. no bathe.. ick! It's gotta get done.. even if you have to throw yourself in the tub with the kids! lol.

so replace  3, and 5..

for me, that's:

* if we aren't leaving the house, they can stay in their pjs for the day, and I don't bother doing their hair.

*i sometimes bribe my kids!  If it means a trip to the dentist without a freak out, darn right I'm going to bribe them!  Although there is a limit, too much and you have a spoiled brat who's going to freak out because you didn't bribe them or offer a treat!..

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:22 PM
2 moms liked this
I think you have to do WHATEVER it is to de-stress of being a mom. It is a TOUGH job no matter what anyone says. Also there is NO SUCH THING of being a perfect mom. Breakfast for dinner, too much tv on occasion and so on will not hurt your kids every so often. Also the most important relationship is you and your partner because that is where your kids learn about love watching you. Marriages end because kids become more important to moms then dads. Painful to hear but true. Any how that is my 2 cents worth as my kids are 10 & 12 plus hub and I together 25 yrs now.
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by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:47 PM

I think Shea summed it up. :)

Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. I have a special challenge since my 10 year old daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at 8.

So whatever we need to do to decompress we need to do. The husband and I always go on an alone trip for a few days every year without the kids. :)

I too have seen kids destroy many marriages...not good.

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