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Really need some advice.

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:06 PM
  • 9 Replies

I am 40 weeks pregnant, with 6-8 mins between contractions. My DH is deployed and will not return until this baby is over 3 months old. I am currently just waiting for labor to begin.

Now, here is my situation.... 


My dad told my mom he wanted a divorce in 2010, he moved out and into another house. I get a call from her saying (she is sobbing) "your dad has his laundry with that bitch's dingy bras! " she wasnt in the mood to talk obviously and hung up...    

so, i called my dad and said "dad, ur not going back to mom's are u? (he was still in the process of moving his stuff out...) because she found your laundry with some woman's. SERIOUSLY!!??? i would keep my distance if i were u!" 

so long story short, he went to moms and she pulled out a gun and had it in his face so he got crazy and took it away from her and held her up against the wall. she had bruise marks around her neck, so he definitely choked her up against the wall. (not surprising really but it is what it is..) 

ANYWAYS----- my parents both got taken to jail. truth be told: Mom had actually broken into dads new house and THAT is where she found the laundry together.... (NO I DID NOT KNOW THAT!)   and dad obviously got in trouble for domestic violence.   they finalized their divorce less than 6 months later(2011)...... now, my mom at 52 yrs old gets alimony but its "not enough" for her lifestyle. so she "has" to go back to school to get a good job.... 


well she legitimately will not let it go that somehow "i am to blame for the divorce and her awful life." she has told me on 8 occasions since january of this year that I am the reason she got "choked out" by dad. she calls me a liar and says i am a horrible person and mother. being around her is like walking on egg shells. I stopped speaking to her because it is getting too much to handle, everytime she doesnt like something or something doesnt go her way-she results to insulting me and hurting my feelings very much. She says mean things about my husband and my parenting ways (thinks natural parenting methods results in wild unruley kids who end up in juvenile, thinks cloth diapering is "idiotic", etc)   I just feel like yea, her life sucks, but ppls lives suck and they arent mean to others. she makes me feel horrible about myself........


i stopped speaking to her 2 .5 months ago. since then, i have explained myself and how bad it hurts to be treated like she does and she never called me back or anything!

and now since i am so close to having my son, (im guessing is why) she just texted me and says she loves me and wants to have lunch........ i just dont know what to say or do. it hurts not having a mom but it hurts WAAAAYYYYYY worse being talked to like she does to me. 


(i feel like im under so much stress that is not good for my baby, and i dont know how to eliminate it.)

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:06 PM
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Replies (1-9):
MommyOK
by Silver Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I think right now you should just focus on yourself and a new baby.....the last thing you need mamma is all this drama.... Best of luck! Your mother is a grown woman and it's a shame she's treating you like this. SHe sure needs to get a life

 

On the positive note CONGRADULATIONS!!! Hope you have a good delivery!!!

LLbaby143
by New Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:16 PM

Thank you for your encouragement! I do think the best thing i can do is focus on me and my baby. I just feel bad to avoid my mom when she actually is trying to be there... even if it is for her advantage. sucks i feel like that cuz i dont think i should. 

Quoting MommyOK:

I think right now you should just focus on yourself and a new baby.....the last thing you need mamma is all this drama.... Best of luck! Your mother is a grown woman and it's a shame she's treating you like this. SHe sure needs to get a life


On the positive note CONGRADULATIONS!!! Hope you have a good delivery!!!


MommyOK
by Silver Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:29 PM


Quoting LLbaby143:

Thank you for your encouragement! I do think the best thing i can do is focus on me and my baby. I just feel bad to avoid my mom when she actually is trying to be there... even if it is for her advantage. sucks i feel like that cuz i dont think i should. 

Quoting MommyOK:

I think right now you should just focus on yourself and a new baby.....the last thing you need mamma is all this drama.... Best of luck! Your mother is a grown woman and it's a shame she's treating you like this. SHe sure needs to get a life

 

On the positive note CONGRADULATIONS!!! Hope you have a good delivery!!!

 

I don't want to sound mean but your mother is being very selfish and right now if she's trying to be nice...it's for her own benefit....not yours.

 Once again focus on yourself...you deserve that much this is the time for YOU! :)

LLbaby143
by New Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:33 PM

i think she is definitely being selfish. I just am not the type of person to just "deal" with someone. I cant just let her constant drag my heart around. and thats why i am standing up to her/ avoiding her.  maybe the easiest thing i could do is just suck it up and deal with her. but i just cant do that. her words really hurt.

Quoting MommyOK:


Quoting LLbaby143:

Thank you for your encouragement! I do think the best thing i can do is focus on me and my baby. I just feel bad to avoid my mom when she actually is trying to be there... even if it is for her advantage. sucks i feel like that cuz i dont think i should. 

Quoting MommyOK:

I think right now you should just focus on yourself and a new baby.....the last thing you need mamma is all this drama.... Best of luck! Your mother is a grown woman and it's a shame she's treating you like this. SHe sure needs to get a life


On the positive note CONGRADULATIONS!!! Hope you have a good delivery!!!


I don't want to sound mean but your mother is being very selfish and right now if she's trying to be nice...it's for her own benefit....not yours.

 Once again focus on yourself...you deserve that much this is the time for YOU! :)


leslie1989
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:39 PM

 I would say to focus on you and the health of your baby, you don't need to be under all the stress when they baby comes.  And slowly, when you feel it's time to tell her how you feel, maybe in a letter or something, and live your life for today. Congrats on the new baby!!  And goodluck with everything.

jamieharper08
by Member on May. 1, 2012 at 1:14 AM

 I believe it is your mom and you should give her a second chance. Try to start over and leave everything behind. If she can not do that...then you have to do what is best for you and your family. 

LifeSavorLove
by New Member on May. 1, 2012 at 3:02 PM

Focus on you and your baby at the moment. when you the things going smoothly with the new baby then maybe then you should try to work things out with her.

Thelmama
by Thelma on May. 1, 2012 at 4:36 PM

I am thinking you need to tread cautiously and have people with you and no you do not need that stress during delivery.

Thelmama
by Thelma on May. 1, 2012 at 4:37 PM

I would also until she proves herself trustworthy, not leave her alone wity your little one. I am not saying she would do anything, but with her past record of such behavior...I would not be comfortable with her being alone with my baby. 

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