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Mothers of heathens

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 7:37 PM
  • 31 Replies
Sitting at cub scouts, I find myself asking "what do parents of heathens think about their children's behavior?"

Do they not see it?
Do they think the behaviors are fine?
Are their behaviors so much worse at home that their behavior in public does not seem do bad in comparison?
Do they not care?
Do they think it is cute?

Some of these parents really make me wonder...

What do you think?
by on May. 1, 2012 at 7:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hayliedlr
by JoAnna on May. 1, 2012 at 7:56 PM

 well my youngest dd 7 is pretty bad.  Now I am not going to blame it on her disabilities but when were are out and about it can be questionable.  it could go either way.  She could be a complete angel or complete opposite.  I am a single mother and I need things from the store and sometimes I have to take  my brood.  I will take her out of the store until she calms but that is a pain.  She is not in any extra cirricular activities because she can not handle herself at times.

Is this what you mean?  I get embarrassed easily and can't handle taking her most of the time.  I don't think it's cute at all.

Kris_PBG
by Representative on May. 1, 2012 at 8:01 PM
Quoting hayliedlr:

 well my youngest dd 7 is pretty bad.  Now I am not going to blame it on her disabilities but when were are out and about it can be questionable.  it could go either way.  She could be a complete angel or complete opposite.  I am a single mother and I need things from the store and sometimes I have to take  my brood.  I will take her out of the store until she calms but that is a pain.  She is not in any extra cirricular activities because she can not handle herself at times.


Is this what you mean?  I get embarrassed easily and can't handle taking her most of the time.  I don't think it's cute at all.




No mama!!!!!! Not even close to what I mean at ALL!!!! :)

Kids are kids - all are unique and come with their own challenges.

I am talking about children who are routinely out of hand, wild, or rude - and the parent just sits there. Or half heartedly say "stop", which results in no change of behavior in the child and the parent says nothing more.

What you are describing is totally different and it sounds like you are not only aware of the situation, but also on top of addressing it when there is a need! :)
sjump25
by on May. 1, 2012 at 8:03 PM

I agree.  When my kids act up in public I correct them immediately and if they do not straighten up we leave.  They are usually pretty good in public, but I will not stand for bad behavior and I don't get how parents do.  I often wonder what they are thinking too.

Thelmama
by Thelma on May. 1, 2012 at 8:38 PM

I just feel for the Mama and the kids.  It isn't  good for Mama or kids.  And one day that Mama is going to regret it big time.

EireLass
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 8:39 PM

I always wonder the same thing. Don't mean to brag, but my kids WERE well behaved. I would die of embarrassment if my kids ever acted the way I see some kids behave. There's a time to let your hair down and go wild.....in your own yard!!!! Not at functions, not at group meetings, etc.

But I'm also one of those weirdos that does not have a problem speaking directly to the child in question, totally bystepping the parent. I have no problem telling them to sit down because I can't see, or they're being too noisy and I can't hear, etc. It usually takes everyone off gaurd, that they all straighten up. hahahaha

Thelmama
by Thelma on May. 1, 2012 at 8:39 PM

My kids learned long ago, you act up in public we leave, and there will be heavy grounding, time out or what not when we get home, depending on what they did.

Aloysious
by Member on May. 1, 2012 at 8:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it's a progressive combination of those.  It started out as cute, then when they found out they couldn't stop it because they encouraged it so long, so then they ignored it, now they don't care because the kids act worse at home, and while they may not think it's fine, they feel they can't do anything about it, plus they rationalize by saying they'll grow out of it, or "at least they aren't hurting anyone". 

Of course, there are some kids who are just going to be handfuls wherever they go...

Kris_PBG
by Representative on May. 1, 2012 at 9:10 PM
Quoting EireLass:

I always wonder the same thing. Don't mean to brag, but my kids WERE well behaved. I would die of embarrassment if my kids ever acted the way I see some kids behave. There's a time to let your hair down and go wild.....in your own yard!!!! Not at functions, not at group meetings, etc.

But I'm also one of those weirdos that does not have a problem speaking directly to the child in question, totally bystepping the parent. I have no problem telling them to sit down because I can't see, or they're being too noisy and I can't hear, etc. It usually takes everyone off gaurd, that they all straighten up. hahahaha




I have zero problem addressing it - I am a teacher, so I address other peoPles
children all day long. However, this cub scout group has some of the rowdiest, most difficult children in it. They are exceedingly immature and wild. Addressing them lasts all of one minute some nights - sometimes not even that. It is an oddball group of kids in that they are known for being exceedingly difficult. And the parents just stand there and look on or ineffectively chime in.

It is a good thing I love my son so much and that he loves boy scouts so much. Dh comes home saying the same things when he takes ds(and he teaches middle school! Lol!)

We dread going, but the good outweighs the bad for now...
Kris_PBG
by Representative on May. 1, 2012 at 9:12 PM
Quoting Aloysious:

I think it's a progressive combination of those.  It started out as cute, then when they found out they couldn't stop it because they encouraged it so long, so then they ignored it, now they don't care because the kids act worse at home, and while they may not think it's fine, they feel they can't do anything about it, plus they rationalize by saying they'll grow out of it, or "at least they aren't hurting anyone". 


Of course, there are some kids who are just going to be handfuls wherever they go...




I like your theory!!!!
MsBlueBelle
by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:20 PM

Both of my children had ADD really bad and I stuck to my guns about the not medicating my children into a stupor.  I found that smaller classroom size, more work to keep them busy and out of trouble solved more of their issues than a drug.  It is a personal choice, this is how I handled it.  I, too am a single Mom, my children are now grown and on their own.  I used to get so mad when my children had to work extra hard to sit still, be polite, and to learn how to handle all that extra energy.  There were Mom's and Dad's whose little darlings terrorized the classrooms, gym class and at after school day care.  I knew what the notes were from, but I used to come by the school unannounced and watch my children (without them knowing, or the teacher) to see what type of behaviors needed correcting.  I won't forget the time my son got a 3 day suspension from drumming his fingers in class, but the boy next to him was tearing the pages out of school book, no problem with him.  I was furious, this was before recording things got small enough to be used at a moments notice.  If I had not seen that suspension reason with my own two eyes, I would never have believed it.  One child destroys a school book, one child drums his fingers on the desk? 

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