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Do you believe in coincidences? sorry, long

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:40 PM
  • 16 Replies

Do you believe in coincidences? Or are things really planned out, Faith, Fate, etc?  I am asking this because I am dealing with a personal issue that has had me thinking on the subject.  Without a long story, lets just agree my dad was a pedophile and I was one of his victims.  One of many, many children.  I have lived away from him since I turned 18, left home and joined the US Air Force.  My career took me to all sorts of places, thankfully only once was I within 50 miles and that was only for a week.  He did not know I was in town, I made no effort to contact him. 

My Mom died in 1972, when I was 11 years old.  My Mom and dad never divorced, my Mom was a strict Roman Catholic and divorce was never an option.  My Mom gave him his walking papers when she found out he had an underage mistress.  It was the second mistress that he finally ended up living with, having children with and adopting all of her children.  All of my family with my Mom and dad are all dead, except me.  I am the only remaining natural child of that marriage.  Two years ago that mistress died and my dad was diagnosed with cancer of the lungs, liver, kidney and bladder.  They gave him 18 months, because he had a bad heart and could not take chemo treatments.  That was last Thanksgiving. 

Fast forward to February, 2012 and I know he is under hospice care at his home.  I am a night owl, but that night I went to bed early, and was asleep when I am useually awake.  I woke up from a very sound sleep at 5:59 am and something in my brain was telling me to call him.  So I did.  I talked to the hospice nurse, he was non-verbal by this time, but understood commands by blinking his eyes.  The nurse said he was fighting the morpheine drip and he was struggling to stay alive.  She was assuring him it was okay to go, all his adopted children and their families were all there, I was told months ago I was NOT welcome. 

The nurse put the phone to his ear and I simply said, "I forgive you"  Nothing more, nothing less.  He blinked his eyes and I said goodbye and hung up. 

At 6:09 am, the phone rings, he died.  Do you believe that my dad was sending me messages to call him?  Was it just G-d telling me to clear the slate before we could never talk again?  I am still confused and hurting.  I don't know what to feel or if I should feel anything at all.  I guess the kicker to the entire mess is all his worldly goods he left only to me.  Nothing for the other children?  Why would he do this?  I have donated massive amounts of his estate so far and will have it completely sold or donated by the end of this summer.

I feel even more odd, since he died and I have watched the TLC show, Long Island Medium, is my dad able to 'see' me in my every day life?  I have always believed and wanted to know my Mom watched over me, guided my hand at rearing my children, when I had no Mommy training at all?  I like her to 'see' me, but I feel violated when I think he can 'see' me?  Does this make any sense? 

Have any of you btdt?  Thanks for any input.  I am a grown woman, 52 years young and I feel like an 11 girl again, floundering for safety in any port?  Help.

by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
EmilyMarshall
by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:42 PM
bump


hayliedlr
by JoAnna on May. 1, 2012 at 9:47 PM

 I believe it works out that way.  sorry you went through that.

the4mutts
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 10:30 PM
You can believe in "other worldly powers" like sending telepathic messages, but can't type the word GOD?
Look, nothing in this world is certain. Nobody knows why things happen. But I know for myself, there is no pre-destination, no fate, no meant to be.
GOD has nothing to do with rape and murder. There is no plan for babies to be stabbed in the neck by their parents.
That's the problem with having a catholic mother, you're looking too much into it.

IMO, your dad was holding on as long as he could. Your forgiveness allowed him to let go, and die. Its not like he was "meant to" die at 6:09 so some telepathy said you better call him.
It was the other way around. Your call allowed him to die.
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the4mutts
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 10:32 PM
"From the wicked things, I am far removed"
Some quote from the bible.
God had nothing to do with the wicked man that your father was.
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MsBlueBelle
by on May. 1, 2012 at 10:41 PM

My faith in G-d is very strong.  I believe Jesus Christ is my Savior, G-d's only living Son.  I have quite a lot of Jewish culture in my family, by marriage, and the link below explains why the name of G-d is so revered, that it cannot be uttered in everyday talk, etc.  Yes, I believe deep down that G-d wanted ME to have peace, knowing I had forgiven when possible. 

Quoting the4mutts:

You can believe in "other worldly powers" like sending telepathic messages, but can't type the word GOD?
Look, nothing in this world is certain. Nobody knows why things happen. But I know for myself, there is no pre-destination, no fate, no meant to be.
GOD has nothing to do with rape and murder. There is no plan for babies to be stabbed in the neck by their parents.
That's the problem with having a catholic mother, you're looking too much into it.

IMO, your dad was holding on as long as he could. Your forgiveness allowed him to let go, and die. Its not like he was "meant to" die at 6:09 so some telepathy said you better call him.
It was the other way around. Your call allowed him to die.


the4mutts
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 11:15 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't need to read it. I'm well aquainted with the "why" some people don't do it.
However, with a roman catholic mother, I don't see why you wonld adhere to it.
It seems like even at your age, you're incredibly confused. Possibly from having too many differing religious backgrounds that you're taking into consideration durring a difficult time in your life.

Look deep inside yourself, and try to realize, the simplest answer is usually the correct one.
And if you already "know" what God wanted, then why are you so hurt and confused that you've sought help for your spiritual experiences on the internet?
I'm not one to question the depth of a person's faith.
What I do question is when you look too deep. Not everything is Godly, or has a spiritual undertone.
It seems like you're hurting yourself by looking too deep.
Let some of the thoughts of "meant to be".. go. Just let them go.
Its not a grand plan. Everyone dies, and sometimes there are little things surrounding their deaths that seem out of the ordinary. Like the sudden urge to make a call.
You deserve comfort, not the confusion you are bringing yourself by worrying about the "why" of it.
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the4mutts
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 11:18 PM
Also, do you really think a God that loves you, would let anything "see" you that made you feel violated?
I don't personally believe the dead can see/hear us.
But you do. And if you believe in a loving God, who cares for us, you should find comfort in knowing there is no way He would allow a pedophile to "see" his former victim.
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MsBlueBelle
by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:32 PM

Dear 4mutts, I guess his death has brought to the surface all of the crap, legal and otherwise I thought was long gone, over and forgotten.  I never expected him to do what he did with his will.  He was the last person I wanted anything from, ever.  I guess I have had my share of different Faiths, as a divorced Roman Catholic, I went before the ecclesial tribunal to make my marriage to my first husband, Null.  I knew I did not want to remarry in the Church, but my husband did.  So, I have my Papal Seal that makes that marriage Null in the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church.  I did remarry, and I remarried a Messianic Jew.  He is a kind man who loves G-d, believes in Jesus Christ.  In the 'in between' time, I wanted my children to have a Christian upbringing and in the Deep South, Southern Baptist was out there loud and strong.  They forgive my divorce, I did not break the marriage vows, my husband did. They filled my children with the Wisdom of the Bible, and they supported me when I thought I would go crazy being a single Mom.

Yes, my life is a patchwork of different things.  All of them made me who I am today.  I keep an open mind and an open heart.  I am happy.  This is all going to make for one interesting read when my children publish my books after my death.  What a hoot!

Thanks for your support and input.  Yes, I am a major nerd and tend to over think the problem, when there is no problem to be found.

J

the4mutts
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 11:38 PM
I can see why it would bring all your hurts to the surface.
And oh-my-lanta! That IS a colorful religious background!

I hope you ease up on yourself, and don't cause yourself more grief than life has aleady thrown at you.

My last bit of advice before bed, is to look to God, not religion, just until your pain eases.
There's so much you've learned and absorbed, its got to be confusing.
God will ease your pain. He doesn't require you to be an academic scholar to receive his blessings. ;)
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