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With Mother's Day coming up I am sad because my daughter doesn't talk to me

I wish I knew something to do because my adult daughter has replaced me with someone else and has nothing to do with me. Everytime she ever has "needed something" she always winds up just hurting me again. So I guess I have my own answer that there is nothing I can do in this situation

by on May. 9, 2012 at 8:03 PM
Replies (11-20):
chitowngirl1021
by Member on May. 10, 2012 at 9:56 PM

thank you so much. After much soul searching that is exactly what I decided.

chitowngirl1021
by Member on May. 10, 2012 at 9:59 PM

Thank you so much. I really appreciate the understanding

chitowngirl1021
by Member on May. 10, 2012 at 10:03 PM

Thank you! I'm sure you don't know how much your understanding means to me. I really was a good mom.

chitowngirl1021
by Member on May. 10, 2012 at 10:09 PM

Dear Serenity7. I have always been the one to say I'm sorry even if I haven't done a thing and I have decided that is enough of that. I will be here if she ever wants to talk to her mom. I love her dearly but she seems to be happy with the way things are. She always is. That is why I always apologize because she just doesn't care. It hurts but I guess I will just have to wait. Thanks for the hugs. I really appreciate it.

Rita

chitowngirl1021
by Member on May. 10, 2012 at 10:22 PM

Dear Kris, Thanks for caring enough to respond. She is just one of those people who isn't happy unless she has drama going on. For once no matter how much it hurts I am not playing that game any more. I will be here if she ever decides she wants to talk to her mom. It does really hurt though.

Rita

MsBlueBelle
by on May. 11, 2012 at 7:33 AM

 I am sad for a totally different reason.  My dd means well, she emails me funny pictures, etc.  You have to understand too, that I am dealing with the death of my dad, (no great loss) but the estate he left me is a huge mess!  I had a great niece who was washed out to sea and they presume her dead and cannot locate her body.  On top of major medical issues I have been dealing with.

But, back to the original reply.  My dd emailed me one of those "Icanhascheezburger" cat posters?  It showed a baby ready to pull a cats tail, and the caption read, "Curiosity killed the baby".  Now most folks would just laugh that off, a play on words, but I cannot understand how insensitive my dd is on that subject.  She is 31 years old, married to a great guy and they live very, very far away. I have not seen her in years because of this distance.  Sadly, when she was 15/16 years old, she was a victim of date rape and got pregnant. We do not believe in abortion for any reason, and so she gave the child up for adoption.  She and her brother, aged 24, have both told me that they have absolutely NO PLANS to ever have children.  They are professionals and I paid for ten years of college each so they could achieve their dreams of being a doctor and a lawyer, respectively. 

So, even though we talk now an again on the phone, and she sends me small gifts from places she travels too, this email really hurt my feelings and I told her so.  She made me pick her, if she gave up the baby or I could keep the baby, and never see her again.  I could not lose one child over another, and we found a very loving home for my grandson.  I call him "Adam".  It hurts knowing I will never know him, or ever have the chance to hold a baby in my arms again.

As smart as my dd is, she started college at age 16, just two weeks after delivering her child, she can really be a dizzy blond with about as much common sense as a coffee filter!

cryingblank stare

chitowngirl1021
by Member on May. 12, 2012 at 9:25 PM

She is just one of those people that has to have drama in her life all the time. She is that way in all of her relationships and I have just got to where I can't stand it. It isn't just me. She doesn't have anything to do with anyone in our family, I feel like such a failure that I raised a daughter like this  but I did my very best. I always put her before everything else. In a way I feel sorry for her. I am sure she has some friends but the way she acts she has oput a lot of people off. Well I guess I am very lucky that I have my Mom to spend time with tomorrow. I don't know what I would do without her.

chitowngirl1021
by Member on May. 12, 2012 at 10:13 PM

Im sorry I had a message all typed to you and my computer froze up. So here we go again. I am so sorry that you have so many things going on now. I thought I had a lot on my plate. My heart really goes out to you. I had to read your message a few times to take it all in. I would have been offended by the thing that was funny to her too. She has a different kind of sense of humor to say the least. I would love to talk to you. I feel that we could make each other feel better just knowing that there is someone who understands and cares. I would love to leave you my phone number in case you would like to takl but I don't know how yet to leave it to just you. If you are interested and can tell me how I would be more than glad to because it is kind of strange but I just really feel a connection with you and can certainly understand your feelings. Our children really do know how to hurt us; just what will hurt the most. I would really like to talk with you more. I  just feel so badly. No one should have to go thru so many things at one tine but I know with Mothers Day coming up your daughter is also weighing heavily on your mind as mine is. Please take care and if you don't feel like talking more please do something special for yourself tomorrow.

Your friend, Rita

chitowngirl1021
by Member on May. 12, 2012 at 10:27 PM

I have been sick alot of my daughter's life and not able to always visit when she wanted. Instead of coming to see me and bringing the kids she said that I just needed someone to just throw me and all my meds in a nursing home and forget that I exist. She has never been to my apt. unless she needed me or a place for her and the kids to stay if she had a fight with her ex. I see everyone's children coming to check on them at least once a week here at the apts where I live but they all ask me if I have children because they never see anyone. My mom did come to visit but now she is homebound with my dad. We came back here from Chicago to be close to my mom & dad & I only have a couple of friends and they don't visit because they have their own lives. I don't get out much so the tv and computer are my best friends until I go to the eye Dr. the end of the month and then after surgery I hope to be able to read more. But needless to say my life is pretty empty.

Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on May. 13, 2012 at 6:38 PM

I'm sorry.

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