Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Lounge The Lounge

Step-Mom issue.

Posted by on Jun. 5, 2012 at 8:15 PM
  • 8 Replies

Hi all.....my issue is very major to me so I def need honest feedback.

My husband and I have 6 children altogether, I have 3 prior,he has 2 prior and we have 1 son together. His children lives with their Mom in MD and they visit here and there. 

My husband is a City employee so naturally he has great benefits, he set up college fund accts through his job for his 2 kids and my oldest kid and will setup for the rest of the kids when he receives his raise. Now I'm still looking for employment.....but now I'm feeling some kind of pressure to return the favour for his 2 kids. Is it selfish of me to open a college fund for my 3 kids only or should I do what my husband did for my kids and open one for his kids??

by on Jun. 5, 2012 at 8:15 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
doll0302
by Member on Jun. 5, 2012 at 8:17 PM
Personally, I would want to do all of them, but if it was not feasable, then I could see doing just the oldest kids since technically you have more time to save for them.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Kris_PBG
by Representative on Jun. 5, 2012 at 9:44 PM

That is hard to answer - especially without knowing the full financial situations of the kids mom, your kid's dad, etc...

Why not sit down with him and talk about your guilty feelings about this - talking it out may make the answer very clear.

SkullGoddess
by Member on Jun. 5, 2012 at 9:50 PM


Quoting Kris_PBG:

That is hard to answer - especially without knowing the full financial situations of the kids mom, your kid's dad, etc...

Why not sit down with him and talk about your guilty feelings about this - talking it out may make the answer very clear.

The kids mom is receiving unemployment and her girlfreind is a Corrections Officer. My husband said it's his kids so it's his responsibility to pay for their college education but I know he's putting money away for my 3 kids who don't belong to him. I told him it was a great gesture on his part cause he does not have to pay for their college education but he feels since he's their step-dad, that's his job as daddy. I just don't want him to feel like I'm being selfish and only thinking about my kids.

Kris_PBG
by Representative on Jun. 5, 2012 at 9:51 PM
1 mom liked this

He sounds like a great, sweet guy.

I still think you should talk to him - once you get your feelings out on the table you might come up with a plan you can both feel good about.

Quoting SkullGoddess:


Quoting Kris_PBG:

That is hard to answer - especially without knowing the full financial situations of the kids mom, your kid's dad, etc...

Why not sit down with him and talk about your guilty feelings about this - talking it out may make the answer very clear.

The kids mom is receiving unemployment and her girlfreind is a Corrections Officer. My husband said it's his kids so it's his responsibility to pay for their college education but I know he's putting money away for my 3 kids who don't belong to him. I told him it was a great gesture on his part cause he does not have to pay for their college education but he feels since he's their step-dad, that's his job as daddy. I just don't want him to feel like I'm being selfish and only thinking about my kids.


hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Jun. 6, 2012 at 12:54 AM

why not just add to the accounts they already have?

Paperfishies
by Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 12:55 AM
1 mom liked this
You need to return the favor. How would you feel if he dropped the accts for your kids?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SkullGoddess
by Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 1:07 AM

@hayliedlr....the acct is not setup that way, it is alot of red tape to go through but I will just set up a seperate acct under their names and name their Aunt as the 2nd person in charge of the acct. I don't trust their Mom to handle the acct on her own. Thanks for the advice!!


@Paperfishies, I want to return the favour but I really did not want to make their Mom to feel like I was trying to make her look bad. If he dropped the acct, I would not feel good but I really would not be shocked only because my 3 girls are not his biologically and I would respect his decision. I do appreciate your input, thanks.

erikadi
by Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 4:31 PM

If you have limited funds I would focus on your kids first and then do one for his kids or maybe work out something that you can do together for his kids.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN