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I'm in serious need of help

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 12:22 AM
  • 13 Replies
OK first of let me introduce myself. My name is Tiffany and I'm a single mom of a three year old little girl. I go to school full time for cosmetology.


My little one is very emotional and I'm to the point where I wanna pull out my hair everyday. My daily routine is basically get up go to school and a two hour bus ride home with my kid. And she thinks its funny if she runs off and walks around on the bus . No matter what I do she doesn't listen to me but will listen to everyone else. Then while we are at home she will scream and cry and I don'tever get a break . Does anybody have any advice I'm willing to do anything .
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 12:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
hubbardmh
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 12:36 AM
1 mom liked this

 it sounds like she misses you and is looking for attention.....maybe make a special day for you two to do what she wants and id try to bring things on the bus to entertain her. also do you discipline her for not behaving?

PinkHairMAMA
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 12:40 AM
Not to bash but sounds like discipline issues to me. She doesn't seem to take you seriously. My DS5 and I butt heads some days too, he doesn't listen to me. Though some days are wonderful. When I figure it out I'll pass it along, please do the same. Good luck!!

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shearlyamazing
by New Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 12:50 AM
i bring things for her to do on the buds like the tablet and we songs but it seems that the littlest things set her off and send her emotions to extremes . But I'm definitely gonna try and do stuff with her more thanks for the advice
MommyJDTJ
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 12:59 AM

sounds like she may be stressed or worried. Try to stay consistant and have a routine at home no matter what. My DS doesn't listen to me much either he is almost 5, I have found having special time just me and him seems to help and having a schedule that he knows what we are doing before we are doing it helps too.


Good luck!

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marilyn34
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 8:49 AM
It is just my opinion, but it sounds like somewhere along the way you may have had contact with a family member or close friend, who made a point of possibly over riding your authoRity and your child picked up on it (possibly an inlaw or your own parents,who let your child do things even after you said no). I would reinstate your authority as the rule maker by enforcing small things and work up to the bigger rule keeping. Sort of like reprogramming you into your childs though process.
ihave1
by Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 2:23 PM
1 mom liked this

My dh has done this.  UGH... our daughter was sleeping nicely in her own bed & then he just had to keep bring her down into our bed. Now she will not sleep in her bed.  He fuss  now when she wakes him up early & I just laugh at him.  Yea its time to "reprogram" her back to sleeping on her own.  OP I like this idea for you too. 

Quoting marilyn34:

It is just my opinion, but it sounds like somewhere along the way you may have had contact with a family member or close friend, who made a point of possibly over riding your authoRity and your child picked up on it (possibly an inlaw or your own parents,who let your child do things even after you said no). I would reinstate your authority as the rule maker by enforcing small things and work up to the bigger rule keeping. Sort of like reprogramming you into your childs though process.

 

jonnlilithsmom
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:47 PM
1 mom liked this

start following through on discipline, because it is obvious that you aren't

make rules, and consequences for not following the rules, and stick to them... if you are consistant with discipline, she will quickly learn that you mean business, and settle into your new routine.

and just to clarify, I am NOT telling you to hit your child, I am talking about using whatever punishment method you feel comfortable with, if that includes spanking, that is your decision, but there are many methods that work, and I advocate for whatever works for you and your child

justsusan
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 6:24 PM
1 mom liked this

make sure her day care situation is stable and safe.  You want to be sure she is not acting out because of any problems during the day.  Also, make sure she is not hungry.

All three year olds are tired, fractious, and easily melt down at the end of the day, and a two hour bus ride is really a lot to ask of a toddler, especially at the end of a day.  Can you move closer to school, or go to school somewhere closer to home?  Will this situation be ending soon (as in will you graduate and then have a job closer to home?)

If the naughtiness is just on the bus ride home, I would chalk it up to boredom and anger at having to be confined at the end of the day.  Tell her why it is important to be quiet and stay in her seat (safety, bothering others) and that if she stays in her seat, she gets a sticker.  You can even start with a sticker every fifteen minutes she has stayed in her seat.  She can trade her stickers for special time activities when you get home, or for a treat.  If she does not earn her stickers, she has to have a bath and go to bed when you get home.

If she is often disrespectful and disregards your directions, you have an issue of discipline to face NOW.  She MUST, for her safety and your sanity, understand that she will have to obey you or face a consequence such as losing tv or a toy, having early bedtime, or time out.  Do not ask her, plead with her, or bribe her-simply state the expectation quiety and firmly.  If she does it again, state that if she does not choose to mind you, she will have a consequence.  Tell her what the consequence will be.  If she does it again, she gets the consequence hard and fast and never, ever, ever, ever back down.

She will throw a helluva fit the first time, maybe even the second day, but after that she will GET it, and be a happier more secure child, knowing where her boundaries are and who the boss is.

Good luck!!!

agloro3
by New Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 9:34 PM

im going through this as well myself and im learning that giving in just makes the matter worse... so once my son does this i tell him no and i ask him does he want a spanking??? and then if that dont work i place him in his room inside of his crib, for time out, after he stops crying ill bring him out..... if he continues to keep doing it ill slightly spank him on his bottom which  i call it love tapping his booty lol never would i hurt him :) and then place him back in the crib, while walking to the crib i explain to him why he is going into time out... he is 19 months soon to 20 and does very well now with throwing fits and screaming the number one thing i hated so freaking much!!!!

Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Jun. 10, 2012 at 2:01 AM

Welcome to The Lounge!

The advice these ladies have here is wonderful.  Good Luck to you!

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