Cleavage

Well, this was probably pretty awkward: a woman trying to take a 6 AM Southwest flight from Las Vegas to New York on June 5 was none the wiser that her dress was too low cut and her breasts were just a smidge too bodacious. Air travel doesn’t usually come saddled with a set of style guidelines but in her case, the unsightliness of her 36DD cups running over was enough for an attendant to ask her to cover up or run the risk of not boarding the plane.

When you prep for a trip, you check to make sure you have your luggage, your boarding pass, your purse. Maybe even your kids, if you’re traveling with them. But you’re probably not checking to see if your boobs are tucked into a regulation covering appropriate for flying the friendly skies. I guess now we'll have to add that to the pre-flight checklist.

Who knew a lil’ ol’ sundress would cause such a hoopla? I guess if you’re a perky A cup you’re clear for flight but too bad, so sad if you’re a little more buxom. Bring a shawl, bring a shrug, bring a sweater. Just don’t bring those bad boys out into the natural light for everyone else to lust over or oogle at. (Whatever, I don’t know.)

Cleavage
Warmer weather means you’d better brace yourself good and hard to see just about anything as decorum and taste take a backseat so everyday people like you and me can brandish Lady Gaga-like fashion cajones. I know my poor eyes have been subjected to some sights I’m still trying to recover from: the man in the itty bitty jogging shorts whose twig and berries dangled just a bit below the boundaries of his crotch, the gal going commando in the white linen pants, the fellow in the tank top who himself was encroaching on a 36DD, maybe even a special order size. Certainly a woman’s breasts in a low-cut dress are not the scariest things to be exposed to, especially on a flight going from crazy Vegas to even crazier New York.

As it were, Avital—that’s the lady who was accosted for having her rack on too much of a display—says a male passenger directly in front of her had an actual condom encased on his T-shirt and got through the fashion elimination round with no problem at all. Only when she stepped up did the ticket agent start playing Nina Garcia and attempt to turn her away for inappropriate clothing. Hmm. A double standard, eh? Shocking.

Southwest, who is notorious for kicking folks off of flights—male, female, whoever—has since issued an apology and refunded Avital’s money as a “show of goodwill,” though they maintain the right to boot anybody for any reason at any time, including how they look. (Remember when they ousted Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong for having on—gasp!—saggy jeans?) Clearly, the runway is really just that, a runway, and you’d better make a pretty savvy fashion decision when you’re getting dressed in the morning. Even in the summer.

The lesson to learn here is this: forget about snakes on a plane and worry about breasts instead. Love, Southwest.

Would you have been offended by her cleavage if you were a fellow passenger?