This past week, I have been looking at my credit history and I want to pay it off. I am looking for a job so I can start making payments on things. When I graduate school next December and I start my career, I am going to be majorly paying off debts. I also wanted to help my fiance pay off his debt. I know someone is going to say that his debt is not my responsibility and I know this. We are planning on getting married, we just haven't set a date yet. We also would like to buy a house together with our son but we can't get approved for a mortgage with our poor credit. I was looking at his credit history and I noticed that he has utilities that went into collection back when him and his ex split up. I feel that I shouldn't pay those debts off because I would be paying off one of her debts also. He doesn't expect to pay them off either. On the other hand, if I don't help pay them off, then it's going to hurt myself and our son.
The reason I keep saying me pay them off is because I was planning on also finding a job and using his paycheck towards monthly bills and using my paycheck to pay off my credit first and then his.
What would you do?
Do what is right for you and him. It is always a risk in such relationships should he decided he doesn't want to follow through on marriage, but it is something you have to decide. No one else can really decide for you. It is a catch 22, in that if you pay them off you are helping the ex too, but if is is what you want to do etc, then it is what you should do. Follow your heart and gut, with lots of help from your brain. :o)
Thank you for the advice :)
Quoting Thelmama:Do what is right for you and him. It is always a risk in such relationships should he decided he doesn't want to follow through on marriage, but it is something you have to decide. No one else can really decide for you. It is a catch 22, in that if you pay them off you are helping the ex too, but if is is what you want to do etc, then it is what you should do. Follow your heart and gut, with lots of help from your brain. :o)
If you & he are planning to marry, paying off both of your debt is only going to help.
Quoting Thelmama:Do what is right for you and him. It is always a risk in such relationships should he decided he doesn't want to follow through on marriage, but it is something you have to decide. No one else can really decide for you. It is a catch 22, in that if you pay them off you are helping the ex too, but if is is what you want to do etc, then it is what you should do. Follow your heart and gut, with lots of help from your brain. :o)
I would help him. I mean, if you guys are planning on getting married, then you're kinda in this together right?
Quoting Cafe AmyS:If you & he are planning to marry, paying off both of your debt is only going to help.
Quoting Thelmama:Do what is right for you and him. It is always a risk in such relationships should he decided he doesn't want to follow through on marriage, but it is something you have to decide. No one else can really decide for you. It is a catch 22, in that if you pay them off you are helping the ex too, but if is is what you want to do etc, then it is what you should do. Follow your heart and gut, with lots of help from your brain. :o)
yep. And he is going to appreciate it, especially if he is a good guy.
Quoting Cafe AmyS:If you & he are planning to marry, paying off both of your debt is only going to help.
Quoting Thelmama:Do what is right for you and him. It is always a risk in such relationships should he decided he doesn't want to follow through on marriage, but it is something you have to decide. No one else can really decide for you. It is a catch 22, in that if you pay them off you are helping the ex too, but if is is what you want to do etc, then it is what you should do. Follow your heart and gut, with lots of help from your brain. :o)
He is a very good guy. I'm not doubting our relationship at all. I was just doubting paying off "her" debt. You know what I mean?
Quoting Thelmama:yep. And he is going to appreciate it, especially if he is a good guy.
Quoting Cafe AmyS:If you & he are planning to marry, paying off both of your debt is only going to help.
Quoting Thelmama:Do what is right for you and him. It is always a risk in such relationships should he decided he doesn't want to follow through on marriage, but it is something you have to decide. No one else can really decide for you. It is a catch 22, in that if you pay them off you are helping the ex too, but if is is what you want to do etc, then it is what you should do. Follow your heart and gut, with lots of help from your brain. :o)
I am glad he is. I don't think it is a bad thing to pay off those debts, regardless of it helping her. It will help you more in the long run. And he will be grateful. As for her, just don't even think about it as helping her. You are doing it because you love him and want y'all to have better credit together. That is a good thing.
Quoting Miranda1018628:He is a very good guy. I'm not doubting our relationship at all. I was just doubting paying off "her" debt. You know what I mean?
Quoting Thelmama:yep. And he is going to appreciate it, especially if he is a good guy.
Quoting Cafe AmyS:If you & he are planning to marry, paying off both of your debt is only going to help.
Quoting Thelmama:Do what is right for you and him. It is always a risk in such relationships should he decided he doesn't want to follow through on marriage, but it is something you have to decide. No one else can really decide for you. It is a catch 22, in that if you pay them off you are helping the ex too, but if is is what you want to do etc, then it is what you should do. Follow your heart and gut, with lots of help from your brain. :o)
Just THROW it AWAY!!!
- Miranda1018628
on Jun. 28, 2012 at 3:54 PM