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"I'm glad I don't have a daughter" and "Shes going to give you hell"...smh

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I have an 8 year old daughter and am so sick of people telling me how hard girls are to have, and how glad they are they don't have girls...When a little boy likes girls he is "just like dad" and when he acts rowdy its "boys being boys" and when he gets his first girl friends, its like a pat on the back.  When little girls do these things its like she has committed some unnatrual sin.  Since when is responsiblity for self control and pregnancy put soley on the girls shoulders?  It makes me want to say, "Well maybe if you raised your son with some self respect and self control, then maybe less girls would come home pregnant"   I think it is totally natural that my daughter is starting to like boys and I don't think that means that she is going to be wild, or come home pregnant at 16 or that I have done something horrible as a mom....Just had to vent :)  Am I the only one that thinks this way?



Edit: I know there are many good mamas to sons. Not directed at Yall, just venting about some that bother me. :)
by on Jul. 4, 2012 at 8:51 AM
Replies (31-40):
wulfeyes05
by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 1:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I understand how having a girl can worry a mother. My sister was/is wild and has got around. When my grandma told my mom my sister was going to be just like her, she wasn't kidding. My sis is my mom's doppleganger, they act and think exactly alike. She was pregnant as a teenager and dropped out of high school because of it. I know that pregnancy is a 50/50 thing, it's half the mother's responsibility and half the father's, but a young woman is just as capable of telling a guy to use a condom as a guy is at putting one on. If a girl gets pregnant then she didn't speak up, she didn't think just like the guy didn't think. So I can understand being a fraind of having a daughter. I hope to have a daughter some day and when I do, I'll probably make her older brothers follw her around so she can't get into any trouble lol.

GMom2011
by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 1:24 PM
10 moms liked this

I have a son... and I'm glad I do. While I get your point, I would say, not all "girls" are innocent little flowers. My best friend's nephew was approached a few times when he was a sophomore in high school by freshman girls who asked him to take their virginity because they trusted him.  They didn't want to be stigmatized by their peers for being virgins. They didn't ask to date him, nothing. They straight up propositioned him, even offered to pay for the hotel, protection and everything. Its not the first I've heard of this either. My other friend's son got a letter in his back pack from a girl in his class, "You are so hot, I want to have sex with you!" He was 10 at the time. Yea, you read that right, 10! Needless to say his mom was furious and had a nice chat with the girl's mother.

And I'm sure you have read all the stories of young girls texting naked pics of themselves to the boys in their class... so again, let's not pretend our little girls are innocent flowers and all boys are a bunch of lawn mowers. Please. My own neice, who has had everyone in this family completely SNOWED that she was some bible-thumping, innocent little thing who was saving herself for marriage with her purity ring, etc. Has been sleeping around. Her own mother has been talking to her about sex forever, has told her flat out, "if you want to do that, tell me so I can get you on the pill. I'd rather you wait, but if you are going to do that, lets get you protected." She even went so far as when she was with her daughter at her doctor appointments, she would leave the room and had given her doctor written permission to put her kid on the pill if she asked for it, and my neice told her, "No Mom, you don't need to do that, I'm not doing anything!" I mean, how much MORE supportive can yuo be? How much more involved? It's not like this kid doesn't know teens that got pregnant, she does. And this kid STILL does what she wants.

Unless you are going to handcuff your teen to you, you can't stop them from acting like a dumbass, that's what they do. Their brains aren't fully developed until 25, so as teens, they ARE dumbasses, and impulsive and think they know it all and are indestructable.

I for sure will be talking to my son as much as possible about sex, and how girls feel differently about it than they do. He will learn how to respect women, and he will learn how to use a condom and he will have access to them. He will know everything my husband and I can possibly teach him, no holds barred. But I AM going to tell him that there ARE skanky little slut girls out there who WILL take advantage of him too, and how to be on the look out for that. Girls who want to get back at a boyfriend, or got preggo by someone else and want to pin it on him, who will lie about being on birth control, or tell him they can't get preggo if he pulls out, or other stupid shit. At the end of the day though, it will be on him to make the right decisions. All we can do is give him the tools, and PRAY he uses them properly.

whitleypittman
by Member on Jul. 5, 2012 at 1:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I love my little girl, and I do plan on teaching her to respect herself while dating. If our next child is a boy, he will be taught the same thing, cause I totally agree with you.

jonnlilithsmom
by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 1:25 PM

you asked "since when is responsibility for self control and pregnancy put solely on the girl's shoulders?"

the answer to that is "since always"

our patriarchial society says that men are allowed, nay EXPECTED to have high sex drive and to have sex with any and all women that he wants, but because the only way a man has traditionally been able to know that a particular woman's children are also his is to keep her away from all other men, while continuing to have his way with any and all other available women, and so, they have placed all the responsiblity for being "pure" on the women. 

after all, women have the babies, it's them who must be able to prove who the father of their children are, by being chaste, right?
so any woman who cannot do that is a slut... a wanton... a whore... or just plain BAD, right?

our society needs some serious overhaul... it's unfortunate that our daughters get the burden placed on them, but it's how it currently is ... until and unless WE change it... we all have to do our part, by raising both our daughters and our sons to be responsible for their actions, and teaching them to have self respect, as well as respect for others.

I'm sure you're doing a great job at that... lets hope more others will too!

nzumbrun
by Member on Jul. 5, 2012 at 1:31 PM

I completely agree!! I have 2 boys and a girl and I am teaching my boys to respect girls

L1558
by Member on Jul. 5, 2012 at 1:36 PM

EFF YEAH!!!! I feel the same way. Most of my "mom friends" had boys, and holy crap am I glad I had a girl! She was so easy, and still is, even at 12. Never had the "terrible 2s / 3s". No kid is perfect, but wow-- all the boys her age were whiny to the point I sometimes made my visits quick! Plus- many boys seem to be born with an "I want it, so I deserve it" attitude. Could just be my experience, and yes- I know boys can be sweet and wonderful, especially with strong mamas who train them up well. But I wouldn't trade having a girl for all the tea in China.

I taught her to have self-respect but to be against double-standards. Everyone is equal-- all races, genders, religions, gay or straight or bi. I expect her to take personal responsibility while holding others she is close to accountable. Having a girl is wonderful. Seriously.

raegan1221
by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 1:37 PM

 I can see your point. I hate the term "boys will be boys". Children need to be corrected/disciplined regardless of being male or female. And I have a boy.

ms-superwoman
by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 1:44 PM

I am glad I didn't have a girl. I grew up with brothers and most of my family are boys. I am not like most girls myself, I just wouldn't know what to do with a girl. Girls are different than boys, especially when they get older. But it has nothing to do with girls liking boys or anything like that. I just think I would be lost with a girl. lol

misstaylor85
by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 1:50 PM

I don't believe in that stereotype I expect both my kids to be brought up to be respectful and I give them the same guidelines. I don't think that one child should be treated differently just because of their sex. However I do find myself more over protective of my SD then my son but I know this and I make myself step back and treat them the same. Both kids have the same rules within reason they are 4yrs a part so naturally they have different rules for the simple age difference but they are the same rules at  the same age level if that makes sense. And I hate that phrase boys will be boys...WTF like it gives the parent's a free pass to not parent because well he's a boy. My son has been raised to be respectful to realize people have boundaries he rough houses a little bit here in there but I wont tolerate bad behaviour simply because he has a wiener that whole thought process has always been completely stupid to me.

Silvertears1275
by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 1:50 PM

I have three girls, very close in age.... I get reminded all the time what kind of torture I'm in for when they're all teenagers.  I just tell them I already have my room reserved at the mental hospital.

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