6 Things I Said I'd Never Do as a Mom ... But Am Totally Doing! What things did/do you do that you swore you never would?
6 Things I Said I'd Never Do as a Mom ... But Am Totally Doing
Are those pink booties I see?So, you know how before you have kids, you say you're going to do this thing, and definitely not do that thing after the baby's born, because it's so easy to say things when you don't have children?
Yeah, well, that totally happened to me! In the months leading up to my
daughter's birth, I had inadvertently made a list of things I would
never, ever do as a mom. And then I had a baby!
Here are six things I said I'd never do as a mom, but -- well, you know the rest ...
Pink, plastic, and ugly. I'm a visual person. And I don't like ugly things in my vision. So, before my daughter made her debut, I had set up her nursery just so. Everything was crisp, white, and designed for what I envisioned a classy family to be. Cut to three months in, the "crisp" is rapidly declining, and things like gaudy disposable changing pads, and -- gasp! -- a bulky pink swing with flowers are increasing. Turns out, gaudy stuff is convenient. And inexpensive. And, hey, it also turns out that babies like bulky, gaudy, plastic shit. (Thankfully, though, the swing is a loaner and my daughter hates it. Man, I can't wait to get that thing out of sight.)
I actually considered getting a "Baby on Board" sticker for my car. I haven't done it, but I seriously entertained the thought one day when I was driving from Brooklyn to my father's house in the suburbs. As if a little yellow sign would be the thing that would prevent idiots from driving like idiots.
I've given advice. Unsolicited. When I was pregnant -- and after I first had my baby -- I loathed unsolicited advice. I mean, who asked you anyway? But, I don't know, something inside me has felt compelled to drop the baby knowledge on a few friends who are currently expected as if I were Dr. Sears himself. Completely unprompted. I get it now, though. It's exciting to talk about babies when you just had one. But I'm going to try to shut up.
I've judged. I admit it. I've done the thing I hate more than anything, the thing that, under no circumstances, I was going to do after becoming a mom: I've quietly judged women with babies around my daughter's age in Target and in the supermarket. Why is she talking on her phone so loudly in front of her baby? Is she really going to buy that brand of baby wash? Psh, it's your kid's health ... I know. I suck. And I'm really making an effort to not take part in this obnoxious activity, even if I'm not saying anything out loud. What kind of example is that for my kid?
I've bragged. Truthfully, my husband has actually turned out to be the bigger offender of this than me, but I've definitely partaken, also. I cringed when I heard him tell someone, boastfully, that our daughter was in the 95 percentile for height. On the outside. On the inside, I was all, "That's right we have a tall baby!"
I've posted pictures on Facebook. I've tried to keep them to a minimum, as not to clog people's newsfeeds who could give a shit about babies, but I can't help it. She's just so cute!
What things did/do you do that you swore you never would?
Image via handmaidenbymaria/Flickr
When someone tells me of an experience they have had, or are bragging about their kid I will sometimes say. Yeah my experience is this , or my baby has done that too. sometimes people want to brag on their baby and I try to let them but I get excited when I want to talk about mine too. I do have friends that have kids and they won't even let you brag on your baby but they totally brag on their babies.
Lol
I was the perfect parent, then I had kids.
My dd walked at 9m, told her that and she said hers walked at 5
Umm ok sweetie I knew your kid at 5 and he pretty much laid there and crapped himself lol.
I just smile and agree, but inside I'm like LIAR
Quoting hayliedlr:When someone tells me of an experience they have had, or are bragging about their kid I will sometimes say. Yeah my experience is this , or my baby has done that too. sometimes people want to brag on their baby and I try to let them but I get excited when I want to talk about mine too. I do have friends that have kids and they won't even let you brag on your baby but they totally brag on their babies.
I don't do the one upper though. I just tell of my experience like I have been through that too. etc..
Quoting MommeeTo4:
My friend does that. But she's a one upper.
My dd walked at 9m, told her that and she said hers walked at 5
Umm ok sweetie I knew your kid at 5 and he pretty much laid there and crapped himself lol.
I just smile and agree, but inside I'm like LIAR
Quoting hayliedlr:
When someone tells me of an experience they have had, or are bragging about their kid I will sometimes say. Yeah my experience is this , or my baby has done that too. sometimes people want to brag on their baby and I try to let them but I get excited when I want to talk about mine too. I do have friends that have kids and they won't even let you brag on your baby but they totally brag on their babies.
I wasn't saying u were a one upper
Quoting hayliedlr:I don't do the one upper though. I just tell of my experience like I have been through that too. etc..
Quoting MommeeTo4:
My friend does that. But she's a one upper.
My dd walked at 9m, told her that and she said hers walked at 5
Umm ok sweetie I knew your kid at 5 and he pretty much laid there and crapped himself lol.
I just smile and agree, but inside I'm like LIAR
Quoting hayliedlr:
When someone tells me of an experience they have had, or are bragging about their kid I will sometimes say. Yeah my experience is this , or my baby has done that too. sometimes people want to brag on their baby and I try to let them but I get excited when I want to talk about mine too. I do have friends that have kids and they won't even let you brag on your baby but they totally brag on their babies.
I loved this post!
I too swore I wouldn't have all the plastic toys and equipment - now I've got it in blue and in pink for each of the twins and am forever tripping over something. I said I would never let my children watch TV - who knew they would love it and it would be my 10/15 minutes sanity each day and give me time to actually finish a cup of coffee. I boast and brag like no-one's business to anyone who will listen and love it when people stop me to ask questions about DD & DS, any excuse to talk about them and all the cool stuff they do - I used to hate Mom's doing this before I had kids to brag about.
I have turned into my worst Mommy nightmare!!
Found this quite interesting/funny Mugshot round up
Would you do this? Hire a handicapped person in order to get to the front of the line.
- Cafe Kelly
on Jul. 23, 2012 at 12:47 PM