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Family Member from heck, & trying to make trouble for us ?

Posted by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 10:38 PM
  • 15 Replies

My DH, self & DC *dependent child, have been through lots of really bad stuff. We lost our house two years ago, DH had a severe car accident, not at fault/very tramatic for my DH * he is still having problems with it, my own vehicle stopped working too about two months after my DH car accident.  We had to ask for government, and social services assistance.  Since all of this, DH had a heart attack, my Mom underwent heart surgery, and our  DC was diagnosed with a serious medical  problem ~ this happened all last summer.  We relocated three times during our whole two year dilema.  Now, SIL , six months ago is trying to sabbotage us, saying we are taking government assistance when we have 'too good of vehicles'.   Well, one vehicle was actually totalled for almost one year , and DH finally got it fixed himself.  My car went to the junk yard.    Forunately, we were able to relocate to our original house which I believe is a total miracle from God.  I have severe depression, & anxiety issues, and  I am being seen by a doctor on a regular intervals.  I just got a phone call from a government agency asking for our tax return, we have nothing to hide at all. My DH called his sister, and she said she turned us in because we have too much nice stuff.  OH MY goodness.  My bank account is in the negative. I am definitely NOT shopping at Macy's or eating out daily either.   I am freaked by all of this drama that the SIL has done to us.  Any advice.  My husband is not making any money, neither am I. He has PTSD from car accident, depression, anxiety, heart problems.  He is really angry at his sister for trying to make us look bad.  Please share how I proceed?  How do I deal with this drama?  I don't have contact with her, rarely although living within 20 minutes from her.  I think she is really psycho.  HELP pls.  How can a family member be so malious and vengeful, after all we've been through ?  any advice?

by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 10:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momrocks2000
by Member on Jul. 26, 2012 at 10:54 PM

A little history too, both my spouse & i , both had viable business(es) which are now closed. We are pretty much bankrupt.  Due to my husband's illness, my own, and I take care of other family members who are dependent upon me, I can not handle working full-time or even part-time.  We did gather nice things for our house over many years.  For over six months, 90% of our possessions were in storage.   Really I think SIL is jealous of our house that we got back by the grace of God. We live in a quiet, safe community too, which I think she is jealous of too.    I have alot on my plate.  Any advice what I can do with this SIL?  She had the guts to come to our house last weekend for a picnic.  If my husband & i lose our gov. insurance we are screwed as we are all on prescribed meds.  My husband was just re-evaluated for his heart, and other problems two times the last week, and he does not like going to see physicians.  Any advice.  Because now I need to prove our 'poorness' because of this SIL getting into our biz, and she doesn't know anything about our finances.

mgtnlm
by Member on Jul. 26, 2012 at 11:05 PM
2 moms liked this
Wow that is alot to go through! Just try to keep in your mind (I know easier said than done) that all will be ok. They can't prove you have something that you don't. And kill her with kindness. I wouldn't go out of your way to help her but don't let her know it's getting to you. She will get hers in the end. God will do his job. As far as finances....it will get better. You have been through alot.....get your self esteem up and let your anxiety calm down....take a deep breath. Don't let her or the situation get to you! You have more important things to worry about than her and something that's going to come back as nothing. Let me know if you need anything :)
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momrocks2000
by Member on Jul. 26, 2012 at 11:13 PM

Thanks for the advice. & no I don't have much contact with SIL.  She is not on my FB or anything. I just can't fathom the whole drama.  She is really young, like in her mid-20's.   I just need to relax, and take it one day at a time, sweet Jesus !   My other SIL & BIL family  can't stand her as she has done malcious stuff to them too.  I do know God is with my own family and is protecting us. 

EireLass
by Bronze Member on Jul. 27, 2012 at 10:55 AM

Eliminate that woman from your life, and just take life one day at a time.

mgtnlm
by Member on Jul. 27, 2012 at 12:27 PM

As long as you can keep that at the front of your mind and keep her at the back, you will be great! If she's done stuff like this to others before, it will all catch up to her eventually. No one will believe her when she makes these false accusations later down the road. If nothing else, think of it as you're just one of her stepping stones to her getting ready to learn a Huge lesson eventually.

md_1015
by Bronze Member on Jul. 27, 2012 at 1:16 PM

First off stop letting people know your business. My DH and I had to learn that the hard way. People are always going to try and find fault with you (sometimes even family members). If they don't know that you are getting assistance they can't turn you in. It is hard, but you have to protect yourself and your family (dh and dc) before anything else. Keep people out of your finances and your business and then they can't do nasty things to you like that.

Sorry you are having such a rough go at it right now. Things find a way to work themselves out. Good luck.

Kodysmommy928
by Jennifer on Jul. 27, 2012 at 1:56 PM

Show them everything and cut her out of your life. 

uneeque76
by Member on Jul. 28, 2012 at 9:48 AM

   I agree don't add fuel to this fire that SIL: has started. Just continue doing what you do.                           And don't let it get to you.  Some people just like to make trouble  for others.  She evidently has no life of her own . She doesn't strike me as a very interesting individual.                       She needs someone to pray for her!   In the mean time treat her with kindness..........if you can!

uneeque76
by Member on Jul. 28, 2012 at 9:50 AM

  I agree,   stop and don't share personal business with everyone. 

momrocks2000
by Member on Jul. 28, 2012 at 10:00 AM

Thanks for the advice.  I don't share any personal information with that SIL.  I don't have communications with her, it's she is grasping or guessing what kind of services we get;  how much food stamps we get, and medical insurance.  My husband had a heart attack and surgery last year....and was in a fatality car accident (not his fault), even one of our good cars was totalled.  She is mad and jealous that we were able to relcate back to our former house.  She hates her life, and is trying to sabbotage or create missery that we dont deserve.  She has been horrible person to others (most) in her life.  In past years, she has broken up with her spouse atleast 20 times for more, I have helped her move from house to apt, to her parents, back to an apt, and LOST COUNT.  She only stays at a job for 1 week or 1 year, depending if she decides to sleep with the boss.  That is NO LIE.  She actually has TOLD me this in past years, who she has cheated on while she was married (still is).  She brags.   Thats the kind of person she is.  Yuk . Obviously, she does not work at this time, so she is being vindictive.  I wonder if I have a legal case to place a protective order against her.  She has serious put public notices on a tv station websites about my daughter, send emails calling my (11) year old a "b", etc.  My DH sits around, and doesn't do a darn thing.  Blames all this drama on me.  Its my fault, and I am not flaming the fire.  I did not invite her to our house last weekend for a picnic, my SPOUSE DID (her brother).   I want NO contact with her , and have not for two years...but my husband flip flops all the time.  How do DEAL with this person ?  If you think her (SIL) is bad, her parents are WORSE.   If she does show up at my door, my spouse is at our home.   I don't have any serious conversations with her,  basically hi or bye,  and what do you want to drink.  Nothing more, nothing less. She has done a lot of damage...she's been a lune since  she was  11 years old, now that she is 25 years old, she is getting worse psychologically.  I really think she has a mental disorder, just undiagnosed.

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