Need help with my child getting kicked out of the house by DH.
Hello, I am in desparate need of advice from anyone who has been here...
I have been married to my DH for 14 years. We have not been getting along well for a while now but DH is currently going through Chemo and times are very stressful. We have 2 sons together 13 and 6, and my oldest son is almost 18. I have been married to DH since he was almost 4. Oldest's biological father was once a steady part, but not since he was about 14.
DH and my oldest do not get along. They have not seen eye to eye since about age 12, when puberty kicked in. This has caused anger, hurt, and resentment in each of them, most of all mutual disrespect. My oldest is very troubled by my DH and does not agree with his parenting style. So now that he is almost 18 he has voiced his opinions more and more and the other day, DH kicked him out of our house. My oldest is pretty much grown, but still needs help due to psychological problems and immaturity in some areas. He does not have a drivers license yet but has graduated high school. He still needs parenting.
I am so torn up inside and angry because I want to finish raising my oldest but DH is claiming that him living at home is causing him too much stress. I can't finish raising him while he lives with my parents (where he is currently), and am so angry at DH that I can hardly look at him. I have hardly slept in days because I am just sick over this situation. I miss my oldest so very much, as do my other 2 sons.
Also, if he stays with my parents he will probably have to move out of state with them in the next couple of months. I am trying to do the best that I can with this situation but I feel if I stay home with DH and my 2 sons, that they will be better off but I am desserting my oldest. If I leave DH then I am hurting my 2 sons but then I can continue to help my oldest who is not yet ready for the real world.
Any advice, please share. Thanks.