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7 reasons why I'm a bad mom :-(

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#1 I try to get rid of the kids as often as I can. They have the Rec center Mon-Fri, 12 to 4ish.  Then they have bible study on Wednesdays and church on Sundays. And they play outside until 8:30ish most nights playing with the neighborhood kids. Whenever they're home too long, they just whine, fight and make messes. The thought of refereeing them and entertaining them all day long makes me want to scream!!!

#2 I hate cooking them breakfast. So I do a months worth of cooking and freeze it all. That way in the morning they can heat up their own pancakes, french toast, ect.

#3 I make them clean the house. Everyone has set chores (Walking the dog, cleaning the litter box, taking out trash, ect) so I'm not stuck cleaning everything. In spite of that my house always seems to be a mess :-(

#4 I hate playing games with them. Everything I do is wrong. No mom! You don't play like that! That and playing make believe just bores me to tears.

#5 I yell at them. I know it's bad. But some days I just get so overwhelmed with everything and I snap.

#6 I hit them. This is the one I feel most shame about. I'm strongly anti spanking but sometimes everything just builds up and Bubba or Audi will do that one thing and out of sheer frustration, I'll smack them.

#7 I don't want to be a mom. Sometimes I look around at the mess, the fighting and whining, the financial strain and I think, 'What am I doing?' Motherhood isn't suppossed to be like this...'Where did I go wrong?'

by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 9:18 PM
Replies (31-40):
paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jul. 29, 2012 at 12:04 AM
1 mom liked this

Okay, I'm going to do it!!!

Quoting Apollos82:

Do it! It's their space, let it be trashed. Close the door on it physically AND emotionally. Clearing that from your headspace will free up the space for something GOOD! :)

Quoting paganbaby:

Reading this made me feel so much better too! Hmmm...what can I let go? I'd say their bedrooms. I work so hard to keep them nice and the kids just trash them :-/

Quoting Apollos82:

(((hugs)))



You're in survival mode. It sucks. I was there for the month+ that my SS was here. It sucks.



Try to do something for your self at least once a day, even it's just half an hour to read a book alone.



Also, is there anything in your life that you can "let go" of? I mean, just little things. I had to let go of having a clean bathroom. My step son is special needs and also has never been made to clean up after himself. He trashed my bathroom sink. I finally just had to let it go. I know I will have to let it go again when custody changes to us soon, too.



It's no fun, it's not fair, and it sucks...but we might as well find a way to make the best of it. Hang in there!



Also, I appreciate your honesty...I don't feel like a horrible (step) mother now. I'm not alone. Really, thank you.



Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

mamasheart2012
by Donna on Jul. 29, 2012 at 12:08 AM
6 5 and 4 months


Quoting paganbaby:

How old are you kids?

Quoting mamasheart2012:

Its ok mama. I have 3 los and it is VERY overwhelming. Theres days I just want to scream and pull my hair out. We will all get through this.



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mymanben
by Member on Jul. 29, 2012 at 12:10 AM
Hang in their mama. Parenthood is not easy. We all have our days, weeks, months...etc. But you're doing it which should account for something.
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roxxyt
by on Jul. 29, 2012 at 12:29 AM
You know you are no Diffrent than any other mom out there, we all go through it. You're not a bad mom you are a real mom, everyone totes their opinions and what they think is perfect but real life is not perfect and we all do the best we can with the skills we have and it may not be everyone's idea of how it should be but you know what if they are clean, fed, healthy, polite to others and respectful, then good for you and as they get older they do get better then the teen years hit lol, that can be hell in itself for some. As a mom of seven now grown kids they are not perfect, but neither am I. They all have directions in life maybe some higher than the others but as long as they are happy that's all that matters its their lives now and what they make of them, I can guide but it's their choice. None are in jail, none of them hurt others, they are kind loving individuals and I'm am proud of them all for who they are. And that's really all we can hope for. We may want more but if they are happy we did good.
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hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Jul. 29, 2012 at 8:09 AM

 I feel ya.  It's hard.  I am out numbered and I feel like it is them against me.  I told them that the messes on the floor is not from me and I am tired of picking it up.  we work as a family.  They are old enough to know not to just drop their wrapper on the floor especially when there is a trash can a few feet away.

jwkaye
by Member on Jul. 29, 2012 at 11:05 AM
1 mom liked this
Not really. My family and closest friends know what it's for, and I have just asked them to not read it.
I did have a boyfriend who read it and then he got really irate and came to my job to confront me about it. We broke up soon thereafter. Anyone who doesn't respect you or your privacy is not worth having in your life.
My husband has never read it, and he knows there are plenty of pages about him. He respects me and isn't so low on self esteem that he has to know what I've written about him.
And when I'm done with a journal, we burn it (usually in the grill and so we can have a nice steak dinner as well).


Quoting paganbaby:

Ha ha ha. Aren't you afraid of someone reading it? I've so wanted to write in one but my biggest fear is it somehow getting out.

Quoting jwkaye:

Motherhood really stinks some days (ok, a lot of days). I only have the one 18mo old, but my house is always a mess, I also make a lot of dinners and stuff and freeze them (that's not bad, that's genius!). And usually by the time hubby gets home (and a lot of days sooner), I am soooo ready to be done with her. And on those "sooner" days, I'll admit, I have snapped and screamed at her.

Hugs to you, momma, it's the toughest job in the world. Remember to take a few mins to breathe or scream or whatever it takes. Personally, I write in a journal. I've written horrible things about my family and everyone else in there when they frustrate me, but I always feel like I can handle things a little better afterwards (I've already screamed and cursed them and called them names and everything else in my journal).


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meagansmommy07
by New Member on Jul. 29, 2012 at 11:09 AM
1 mom liked this

#4 I hate playing games with them. Everything I do is wrong. No mom! You don't play like that! That and playing make believe just bores me to tears.

 

 

OMG My DD is the same way. "No mama, that's not what you do".."no don't it it that way"..".that's not how it goes."... By 5 minutes into it I'm like "either let me play how I want or play by yourself!" Most the time she plays by herself. I'm banned from tea parties now because I "ate" the cake before she said it was time... :)

zebra88
by on Jul. 29, 2012 at 11:30 AM
If kids a were ment to be perfect. They would be lil robots. And then life would b e borening.
Paperfishies
by Member on Jul. 29, 2012 at 12:13 PM
Oh please. You're entire response to me was nothing but a failed bitchy attempt at "calling me out", full of sarcasm. So stop being a hypocrit.

I find it sad and quite scary that so many parents have so many regrets regarding their children. It isn't difficult to stick to the way you want to parent. I refuse to live a life full of regrets, especially when it comes to my kids.


Quoting :


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paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jul. 29, 2012 at 2:43 PM

Exactly!!!

Quoting hayliedlr:

 I feel ya.  It's hard.  I am out numbered and I feel like it is them against me.  I told them that the messes on the floor is not from me and I am tired of picking it up.  we work as a family.  They are old enough to know not to just drop their wrapper on the floor especially when there is a trash can a few feet away.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

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