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I'm just so MAD at my friend and I don't know what to do

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 11:01 PM
  • 18 Replies

We all get a little lost sometimes but my friend is acting so incredibly stupid and it's actually getting a little scary. 

She's younger than me but we worked together, both have young kids and became really close. Well I realize now that she's pretty impressionable. For example she loved my SO who was out of work and got him a job at her store (we still worked for the same company but she switched stores due to some drama.) Well one of the girls that worked there was really upset because she didn't want them to hire another person she wanted more hours. It's a freakin' retail chain, they don't give part time employees more hours because they end up screwed when they no show or quit.So this girl starts a smear campaign on SO and my friend buys into it immediately bc she's friends with the other girls. Well ultimately the trouble makers turns on her and she suddenly can see the writing on the wall and everything goes back to normal (except my SO doesn't really like her at all anymore.) That's just an example.

Well she's been acting odd and I know she's unhappy in her marriage, her husband basically doesn't work he has a job that's less than 20 hours a week and doesn't even pick up hours when he can, he bombs interviews and flunked out of college. I get that she's not happy but even she admits that she doesn't let him know about their financial situation he asks for money and she either says yes or no. Well that was until their power started getting shut off bc they couldn't pay. They are 3 months behind on their mortgage, which is cheaper than rent in all but the crappiest places. She refused to apply for PA on 'principal' which apparently can feed her kid.  However she took in a 3rd dog bc her husband said it wasn't "fair" that she got to have all the pets she wanted (which is true, she just does what she wants) and he never got to pick. 

Her husband had been accusing her of cheating and liked to pick fights then say he wanted a divorce. This used to make her cry and beg him to stay, I'd get phone calls in the middle of the night bc he had her so worked up. Lately she's been a lot calmer about that stuff and told him that if he said he wanted a divorce again she wasn't going to argue and they would split up, no take backs (which seems fair, I wouldn't put up with that.) So the very next night he picks a fight and when she doesn't get upset enough he says he wants a divorce and she says "fine." The next day he's hysterical begging ect but she still makes him move out and they agree after a few days to work on their relationship in separate places. Fine. 

So the entire time I've known they haven't lived alone, first it was his brother then her friend Tina (for 2 years) then their friend Brandon (bc her husband wanted free tattoos) then her brother and now two of her brother's friends. I suggested that perhaps all these people have gotten in the way of them being a family but they both insist that it's fine they enjoy it. Even if they like it that doesn't mean that it hasn't impacted their relationship or their finances since none of these people pay anyingthing. Well while her husband is staying at his moms house she tell me that she got drunk and slept with some guy but immediate told her husband and made sure the guy knew it was a one time thing that would never happen again. Okay, bad idea but she owned up right? It was the 18 year old friend of her brother that was staying in their house!!! She didn't kick him out or ask him to leave she let him stay because "he's been there for her" and she didn't want to "punish" him for a mistake. 

Then all hell breaks loose, her husband blows out a tire and manages to shread the side of their SUV, her car starts breaking down and her 5 year old dd gets hand, foot and mouth disease. Only she doesn't just get sick her hands and feet get so infected that she almost dies and the doctors are talking about taking her hands off. The drew a line on the poor kids wrists and said "If it goes past this line bring her back we have to take the hand off." The swelling literally got to the line before it started to go down. She get in trouble at work (she' a groomer) for posting a video of a Scottish Terrier biting at the blow dryer which is pretty normal but not something you should do and get fired. Then the other 18 year old that was living in her house tell her husband that she's been sleeping with the other kid the entire time he's been gone. She swears it isn't true and that he should believe her. (this is when I found out she slept with him in the first place.) So her husband takes all the money out of their account, pays the car payment, which wasn't late and pretty much makes sure that she'll lose power and miss the mortgage payment. He told her when his dd gets sick from being homeless in the heat she can send her to live with him (bastard.)  

So instead of looking for a job, getting a resume together, going to the church down town that will pay her electric bill, applying for emergency assistance or any of the 10,000 productive things she could be doing she goes to Georgia because "I just really need to see my mom, you know?" No I don't know because my mom would tell me to sit my ass in Florida and take care of business. To top it all off she's taken the 'other man' with her, posting picture of him all over her facebook (apparently the cell bill gets paid.) 

Her most recent post "There is nothing as exhillerating as feeling the wind coming off of a train ass it passes 3 feet in front of you." and then there are all these pictures of her, the other guy, her brother and her DAUGHTER sitting on the tracks, climbing bill boards and watching trains pass by. HAS SHE LOST HER MIND? I can't even talk to her, I have nothing nice to say. I know if/when she comes back she'll want help. My SO said that she absolutely isn't allowed to live with us because he doesn't want her drama around our kids and he's completely disgusted that they let their daughter get so sick. He feels that she got sick because they haven't been paying enough attention to her, the dogs go potty in her room and they let her run arround bare foot and don't bathe her enough. Also, he's never forgiven her for turning her back on him. 

by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 11:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
celshep
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 11:02 PM

TL;DR. Sorry here's a bump!

Maevelyn
by Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 11:03 PM

yeah sorry I thought about bullet points lol. 

momrocks2000
by Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 9:05 AM
1 mom liked this

thats a train wreck.  no more comment.

Nickie76
by Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 9:23 AM
This. And she needs help and u need 2 completely disassociate or you'll go down w/ her.

Quoting momrocks2000:

thats a train wreck.  no more comment.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LML1
by Kristy on Aug. 4, 2012 at 9:32 AM
3 moms liked this

Oh jeez, that does sound like drama written all over it. Her husband does have a point. It doesn't sound like she has been taking very good care of her daughter.

Kris_PBG
by Representative on Aug. 4, 2012 at 9:39 AM
2 moms liked this

Sounds like it is time to end that friendship.

Maevelyn
by Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:09 AM

That's basically what my SO said. He says that she'll always choose to do what easy and he absolutely refuses to ever let her stay with us. I can't say I blame him but I feel really worried for their daughter. I mean she's 5 she doesn't need to be playing on, near or around rail road tracks. I swear I'll kill her if her kid gets hit by a train. 

Quoting Nickie76:

This. And she needs help and u need 2 completely disassociate or you'll go down w/ her.

Quoting momrocks2000:

thats a train wreck.  no more comment.


Nickie76
by Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 1:46 PM
Then in that case someone needs 2 call CPS on this looney tune ESP. If your that frightened for her daughter.

Quoting Maevelyn:

That's basically what my SO said. He says that she'll always choose to do what easy and he absolutely refuses to ever let her stay with us. I can't say I blame him but I feel really worried for their daughter. I mean she's 5 she doesn't need to be playing on, near or around rail road tracks. I swear I'll kill her if her kid gets hit by a train. 

Quoting Nickie76:

This. And she needs help and u need 2 completely disassociate or you'll go down w/ her.



Quoting momrocks2000:

thats a train wreck.  no more comment.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Cheryl_M
by Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 1:57 PM

She's a trainwreck and needs to get her act together. If I were you, I'd cut all ties before she starts dragging you down with her.

Maevelyn
by Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 3:15 PM

But what do I say? That she's taking her kid to play on train tracks? Is that even against the law? I know it's against all common sense but she's supervised. Idk if she'd be better off with her dad he seems to be sowing as many wild oats as he can as publicly as possible. 

Quoting Nickie76:

Then in that case someone needs 2 call CPS on this looney tune ESP. If your that frightened for her daughter.

Quoting Maevelyn:

That's basically what my SO said. He says that she'll always choose to do what easy and he absolutely refuses to ever let her stay with us. I can't say I blame him but I feel really worried for their daughter. I mean she's 5 she doesn't need to be playing on, near or around rail road tracks. I swear I'll kill her if her kid gets hit by a train. 

Quoting Nickie76:

This. And she needs help and u need 2 completely disassociate or you'll go down w/ her.



Quoting momrocks2000:

thats a train wreck.  no more comment.



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