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My husband told our six and half year old there is no tooth fairy no Santa No Easter Bunny-

Posted by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 12:03 PM
  • 28 Replies

My husband is older than I and Jewish. I converted, yet we still celebrate Xmas at my sister's and I have a holiday winter tree. Last night, my 6 year old tells me that dad told him there is no tooth fairy, that I am actually the one who puts the money under the pillow, and it comes from the bank.  I really feel like children should have fantasy in today's world, and not be so cynical. What upsets me more is that my husband did not have a conversation with me about it.  We have younger kids, twin babies.  I explained that yes money does come from the bank, but somehow it magically goes under the pilow. I really did not know what to say to my six year old, and I feel sad his dad would tell him that. I think it is awful and wrong that my husband did that.

Last night I attempted a conversation with my husband, and he said, well our son asked me so I was honest and that this was months ago, what was the big deal? I explained that there might be other first graders who still believe in all of this. I told my husband also, that our little twins will want to believe in the tooth fairy etc. too.  He said fine, whatever. I explained that it upset me that he did not talk about it with me first. He then goes how there are things "I do" without talking about it first. He tells me I am "picking on him." He proceded to go in the other room and not want to talk about it. We slept in separate bedrooms.

I tried to talk to him and he just leave me alone.

Earlier, yesterday when my husband got home from work, he made a comment (my father is old and had surgery) since my parents cannot come out for THanksgiving, that maybe I could take the kids and visit them back east for Xmas, and he said MAYBE he would come too. I was a bit floored--taking one year old twins and a six year old on a 5 hour flight does not sound like something I could do alone. I just feel like I am married to a selfish person who does not appreciate me nor our kids. When I ask our son to stop doing something (like jumping on the living room furniture) my husband turns to me tells me I am raising my voice. I am just so sick of him. He is not a nice person.

 


 

by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 12:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AleaKat
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 12:10 PM
I have to say I too married a Jewish man and we celebrate both though honestly a bit more Christmas side. Decisions that effect the kids should definetely be something you two talk about together. Marriage us a partnerships. Side by side as a united front together. Yes he is being very selfish and immature to say whatever to you and that your picking on him. What is he? 12
I'd be confused and furious at this point. It sounds like he doesn't value your opinion and frankly like he doesn't care. And the trip sounds like he is kicking you out. There is more to this at least on his part. Something is going on in his head that you may not know yet especially if he normally isn't like this. This will not end well,
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EireLass
by Silver Member on Sep. 25, 2012 at 12:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Divorce him.

sjump25
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 12:45 PM

I agree.  I'm sorry.  I hope you can talk to him and find out what he is feeling/thinking.  You deserve better.

Quoting AleaKat:

I have to say I too married a Jewish man and we celebrate both though honestly a bit more Christmas side. Decisions that effect the kids should definetely be something you two talk about together. Marriage us a partnerships. Side by side as a united front together. Yes he is being very selfish and immature to say whatever to you and that your picking on him. What is he? 12
I'd be confused and furious at this point. It sounds like he doesn't value your opinion and frankly like he doesn't care. And the trip sounds like he is kicking you out. There is more to this at least on his part. Something is going on in his head that you may not know yet especially if he normally isn't like this. This will not end well,


Kodysmommy928
by Jennifer on Sep. 25, 2012 at 12:45 PM

I think you both really need to have a talk about how you want to raise your children.  Sounds like it is long overdue.

Thelmama
by Thelma on Sep. 25, 2012 at 1:10 PM

I'm sorry. Hugs.

othermom
by Member on Sep. 25, 2012 at 1:48 PM

That would be very frustrating.

Bmama1
by Bernadette on Sep. 25, 2012 at 1:53 PM
Sorry.
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peacemom28
by Member on Sep. 25, 2012 at 1:57 PM

 I would be upset to! That was not nice. Let kids be kids!!!!

babyan
by New Member on Sep. 25, 2012 at 1:58 PM

We planned on raising our kids Jewish yet we still celebrate Xmas holiday at my family's.  However, what does that have to do with the the tooth fairy or when my sister gives gifts from Santa I feel I cannot voice my opinion on everything---he certainly does not seem like he gives a rat's ass.

annismom10
by Member on Sep. 25, 2012 at 2:03 PM
Is it normal in jewish culture to not encourage fantasy? I know no easter bunny or santa. But tooth fairy, unicorns, harry potter, you get the idea. Kids are only kids once. I'm afraid that kind of perpetuates that stern/tight with money stereotype, kwim? Telling a 6 yo money comes from a bank and not the tooth fairy. It's just so serious.

Religion is a line in the sand really. If this bothers you a lot it might lead to divorce. If you ask leaders in the jewish community I have a feeling they'll say you are wrong.
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