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So, as many of you know, we had ds1's party at our house this weekend.

In planning the food/drink, I had dh grab a case of Coke along with water for the adults who chose to stay.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think the kids would be taking the sodas!

These kids are mostly 7 years old (with I think 2 recently turned 8 year olds). 

WOW!  My 8 year old has still never had soda - I was shocked!

Would you expect that?

(And no - I didn't say anything - it was obvious they were permitted to drink soda - so not my kid, not my problem mentality was in place for me).

by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:49 PM
Replies (21-30):
Kris_PBG
by Representative on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:28 PM

I have to say your experiences with civilian life and mine don't line up.

My kids go to public school, have amazing teachers (who are fair, hones with no chip on their shoulder), trick or treat every year, kids don't always make the team (dh is a coach at a middle school and had over 60 kids try out for 14 slots).  Kid have Santa Claus, although we do not have bonfires - I live in a state that has burn warnings most of the year - so that one isn't a civilian/army thing - it is a "we live in dang hot state with not enough water" thing.  I happen to live in a town with great facilities throughout the city - including a great one within walking distance with lots to do...  My neighbors know each other, kids in the neighborhood walk to school, etc... 

I could be wrong - but it sounds like the differences are more experiential than inherent differnces between the two.

I asked b/c my brother raised his family in the military and he is now a civilian, but I have never heard him mention a huge difference in terms of - I dont' know to say it - family life, I guess.

I am wondering if your experiences are more about where you had civilian life than generalizations about civilian life.

Quoting sherry132:

Living on Military posts, I noticed that things were very much like they were when I was a child. Children played outside. There were lots of playgrounds, a few skate parks, dances at the schools, children in school were taken on field trips, parents could still hold teachers accountable and the teachers knew that if the parents didn't act responsibly, command was there to help the teachers. They had bonfires and the sidewalk is always full of happy children on halloween. Children know that bad things happen, they know soldiers go to war and die, therefore they are not coddled. Video games or cartoons with mild violence are permitted.

In the "real" world, no one trick or treats, the schools don't have dances or very few if they do have them, the teachers have a chip on their shoulders and roll their eyes at parents using the police to discipline unruly children, children are overly protected, cartoons, video games and even death are shielded, only happy things are taught. Everyone makes the team (not so in a DoDea setting), no school has a bonfire, Christmas doesn't have Santa Claus...

Lord I could go on and on. Basically, the difference is, military communities are largely 50 years ago living in today. Whereas the civilian world is one of protecting kids, coddling them, not allowing them to do things that we took for granted as children. It's very different, and at times, I find it stiffling. There are so many things in this life that will be bad, will kill you, might cause cancer, might rot your teeth, might do whatever the latest fear is. Parents today are just too damn worried about everything. 

 

Also, in saying all of this, there are many many military families who will disagree with what I have said. They will say they are military and they do this or that or whatever. This was talking about the overall feeling on post, not every single military family, I went to several (about 6 Army posts) there could be differences on other military installations I know nothing about. 

Quoting Kris_PBG:

How so?  I'd be curious to hear about the differences you have noticed!

Quoting sherry132:

My kids drank soda, and by the time they were that age, they would have easily grabbed a soda, unless told otherwise. 

But we are a military family, I've been very surprised at how differently people raise their children in the civilian world. 

 


 

the4mutts
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:34 PM
Teeth rotting? Maybe if the kid drinks it every day, and doesn't brush their teeth on a regular basis.
I've been drinking soda since I was about 4, and I am 29 now, and never had a single cavity, am not obese, have no health problems at all, and my kids are in the same boat.
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Kris_PBG
by Representative on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:37 PM

That is great for you.

I also have no cavities and am older than you are.

My son, however, has extensive dental issues due to a genetic situation.

Excuse me for not jumping at a chance to further increase his chances for more dental work, pain, cost and agony.

Quoting the4mutts:

Teeth rotting? Maybe if the kid drinks it every day, and doesn't brush their teeth on a regular basis.
I've been drinking soda since I was about 4, and I am 29 now, and never had a single cavity, am not obese, have no health problems at all, and my kids are in the same boat.


sherry132
by Sherry on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:40 PM

I'm in East Texas. This is my first experience with civilian life, but some of my friends have made the same comments. Including my step childrens mother, who moved to Montana finally, and has told me that there things are very similiar. That's why I added that these were my life observations and not everyone would agree. My sister is raising her children in Northern Oklahoma and there lives are also very different from what we experienced, she is a civilian. It's just my observations. 

Quoting Kris_PBG:

I have to say your experiences with civilian life and mine don't line up.

My kids go to public school, have amazing teachers (who are fair, hones with no chip on their shoulder), trick or treat every year, kids don't always make the team (dh is a coach at a middle school and had over 60 kids try out for 14 slots).  Kid have Santa Claus, although we do not have bonfires - I live in a state that has burn warnings most of the year - so that one isn't a civilian/army thing - it is a "we live in dang hot state with not enough water" thing.

I asked b/c my brother raised his family in the military and he is now a civilian, but I have never heard him mention a huge difference in terms of - I dont' know to say it - family life, I guess.

I am wondering if your experiences are more about where you had civilian life than generalizations about civilian life.

Quoting sherry132:

Living on Military posts, I noticed that things were very much like they were when I was a child. Children played outside. There were lots of playgrounds, a few skate parks, dances at the schools, children in school were taken on field trips, parents could still hold teachers accountable and the teachers knew that if the parents didn't act responsibly, command was there to help the teachers. They had bonfires and the sidewalk is always full of happy children on halloween. Children know that bad things happen, they know soldiers go to war and die, therefore they are not coddled. Video games or cartoons with mild violence are permitted.

In the "real" world, no one trick or treats, the schools don't have dances or very few if they do have them, the teachers have a chip on their shoulders and roll their eyes at parents using the police to discipline unruly children, children are overly protected, cartoons, video games and even death are shielded, only happy things are taught. Everyone makes the team (not so in a DoDea setting), no school has a bonfire, Christmas doesn't have Santa Claus...

Lord I could go on and on. Basically, the difference is, military communities are largely 50 years ago living in today. Whereas the civilian world is one of protecting kids, coddling them, not allowing them to do things that we took for granted as children. It's very different, and at times, I find it stiffling. There are so many things in this life that will be bad, will kill you, might cause cancer, might rot your teeth, might do whatever the latest fear is. Parents today are just too damn worried about everything. 


Also, in saying all of this, there are many many military families who will disagree with what I have said. They will say they are military and they do this or that or whatever. This was talking about the overall feeling on post, not every single military family, I went to several (about 6 Army posts) there could be differences on other military installations I know nothing about. 

Quoting Kris_PBG:

How so?  I'd be curious to hear about the differences you have noticed!

Quoting sherry132:

My kids drank soda, and by the time they were that age, they would have easily grabbed a soda, unless told otherwise. 

But we are a military family, I've been very surprised at how differently people raise their children in the civilian world. 





Kris_PBG
by Representative on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:42 PM

Gotcha - things are so different from place to place.

Even though I live in a "comparable" suburb in many ways to where I used to live, they two places are WORLD'S apart!  :)

 

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Quoting sherry132:

I'm in East Texas. This is my first experience with civilian life, but some of my friends have made the same comments. Including my step childrens mother, who moved to Montana finally, and has told me that there things are very similiar. That's why I added that these were my life observations and not everyone would agree. My sister is raising her children in Northern Oklahoma and there lives are also very different from what we experienced, she is a civilian. It's just my observations. 

Quoting Kris_PBG:

I have to say your experiences with civilian life and mine don't line up.

My kids go to public school, have amazing teachers (who are fair, hones with no chip on their shoulder), trick or treat every year, kids don't always make the team (dh is a coach at a middle school and had over 60 kids try out for 14 slots).  Kid have Santa Claus, although we do not have bonfires - I live in a state that has burn warnings most of the year - so that one isn't a civilian/army thing - it is a "we live in dang hot state with not enough water" thing.

I asked b/c my brother raised his family in the military and he is now a civilian, but I have never heard him mention a huge difference in terms of - I dont' know to say it - family life, I guess.

I am wondering if your experiences are more about where you had civilian life than generalizations about civilian life.

Quoting sherry132:

Living on Military posts, I noticed that things were very much like they were when I was a child. Children played outside. There were lots of playgrounds, a few skate parks, dances at the schools, children in school were taken on field trips, parents could still hold teachers accountable and the teachers knew that if the parents didn't act responsibly, command was there to help the teachers. They had bonfires and the sidewalk is always full of happy children on halloween. Children know that bad things happen, they know soldiers go to war and die, therefore they are not coddled. Video games or cartoons with mild violence are permitted.

In the "real" world, no one trick or treats, the schools don't have dances or very few if they do have them, the teachers have a chip on their shoulders and roll their eyes at parents using the police to discipline unruly children, children are overly protected, cartoons, video games and even death are shielded, only happy things are taught. Everyone makes the team (not so in a DoDea setting), no school has a bonfire, Christmas doesn't have Santa Claus...

Lord I could go on and on. Basically, the difference is, military communities are largely 50 years ago living in today. Whereas the civilian world is one of protecting kids, coddling them, not allowing them to do things that we took for granted as children. It's very different, and at times, I find it stiffling. There are so many things in this life that will be bad, will kill you, might cause cancer, might rot your teeth, might do whatever the latest fear is. Parents today are just too damn worried about everything. 

 

Also, in saying all of this, there are many many military families who will disagree with what I have said. They will say they are military and they do this or that or whatever. This was talking about the overall feeling on post, not every single military family, I went to several (about 6 Army posts) there could be differences on other military installations I know nothing about. 

Quoting Kris_PBG:

How so?  I'd be curious to hear about the differences you have noticed!

Quoting sherry132:

My kids drank soda, and by the time they were that age, they would have easily grabbed a soda, unless told otherwise. 

But we are a military family, I've been very surprised at how differently people raise their children in the civilian world. 

 


 


 

the4mutts
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 2:43 AM
You're quite obviously just being friggin cranky because I think its stupid to be surprised that children drink soda. If you paid attention to comments, and can read *which it seems like you can* then I believe its safe to assume I was speaking to the person who was blathering about how horrid and tooth rotting soda is for kids.
And I don't recall ever telling you/insinuating that I think your kid should drink it. I specifically said obviously its your kid to parent how you want. But jeeze, defensive of living in a bubble much?
You asked a question to every member of this group about this, I don't see why you're so cranky that someone dares to disagree with your opinion. If you don't want to hear it, why not just say "hey this is my opinion, please comment if you agree with me so I don't get my panties in a bunch"
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 5:35 AM

We never had it at home,but for a party my kids would love it,and I wouldn't mind.

Kris_PBG
by Representative on Oct. 5, 2012 at 6:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting the4mutts:

You're quite obviously just being friggin cranky because I think its stupid to be surprised that children drink soda. If you paid attention to comments, and can read *which it seems like you can* then I believe its safe to assume I was speaking to the person who was blathering about how horrid and tooth rotting soda is for kids.
And I don't recall ever telling you/insinuating that I think your kid should drink it. I specifically said obviously its your kid to parent how you want. But jeeze, defensive of living in a bubble much?
You asked a question to every member of this group about this, I don't see why you're so cranky that someone dares to disagree with your opinion. If you don't want to hear it, why not just say "hey this is my opinion, please comment if you agree with me so I don't get my panties in a bunch"



Au contraire.

You are the one continuing to come back abd comment again and again and saying things like " what 8 year old HASN'T had soda??" and making multiple comments on this post on this topic directed at me. I commented to someone else on a point she made and there you were again insinuating what was written was ridiculous.

Sorry I don't see the need to introduce something we have always skipped and is bad for kids.

Since I have a child where none of his circle of friends drink it, I know I'm not thr only one making that decision.

I said zero to you about you giving it to your 4 kids, but you seem keenly interested in every post I make here with a haughty and condescending tone to boot.


Sorry my choices and opinions shock and fascinate you so much. There isn't any other person on this thread so invested in how I parent. I also said nothing to anyone who makes different choices.

Maybe this is s case of tone being lost over thr Internet, but I think it is time to let it go. There is no need for an argument.

Have a nice day.
sjump25
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:57 AM
Oh wow! I don't know where you have seen civilian life lived like that, but that's absolutely not true where I live. My kids trick or treat, there are school dances often, my sons teacher definitely doesn't have a chip on her shoulder and she loves her job and communicates with me very well, my kids absolutely believe in Santa Claus, I don't coddle my children. I don't allow them to play shoot em up video games because what is the point? I agree we shouldn't shield them from everything, but does my 6 year old really need to be running around pretending to be blasting people up? No. He's six. He should be allowed to live in innocence for as long as possible. Kids grow up way too fast these days. Like I said..not sure where you have seen civilian life lived like you described, but its not the majority.
Quoting sherry132:

Living on Military posts, I noticed that things were very much like they were when I was a child. Children played outside. There were lots of playgrounds, a few skate parks, dances at the schools, children in school were taken on field trips, parents could still hold teachers accountable and the teachers knew that if the parents didn't act responsibly, command was there to help the teachers. They had bonfires and the sidewalk is always full of happy children on halloween. Children know that bad things happen, they know soldiers go to war and die, therefore they are not coddled. Video games or cartoons with mild violence are permitted.

In the "real" world, no one trick or treats, the schools don't have dances or very few if they do have them, the teachers have a chip on their shoulders and roll their eyes at parents using the police to discipline unruly children, children are overly protected, cartoons, video games and even death are shielded, only happy things are taught. Everyone makes the team (not so in a DoDea setting), no school has a bonfire, Christmas doesn't have Santa Claus...

Lord I could go on and on. Basically, the difference is, military communities are largely 50 years ago living in today. Whereas the civilian world is one of protecting kids, coddling them, not allowing them to do things that we took for granted as children. It's very different, and at times, I find it stiffling. There are so many things in this life that will be bad, will kill you, might cause cancer, might rot your teeth, might do whatever the latest fear is. Parents today are just too damn worried about everything. 


Also, in saying all of this, there are many many military families who will disagree with what I have said. They will say they are military and they do this or that or whatever. This was talking about the overall feeling on post, not every single military family, I went to several (about 6 Army posts) there could be differences on other military installations I know nothing about. 

Quoting Kris_PBG:

How so?  I'd be curious to hear about the differences you have noticed!


Quoting sherry132:


My kids drank soda, and by the time they were that age, they would have easily grabbed a soda, unless told otherwise. 


But we are a military family, I've been very surprised at how differently people raise their children in the civilian world. 




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
la_bella_vita
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this

 My kid's never get soda, mean mommy I know! I've been called a snob but the children are still young. They have had sips before but when we go to parties and I get my kids water/lemonade or whatever else they are serving you would be stunned at the comments that are made

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