I got up early to sew a button back on a shirt this morning. Does that count?
ummm hmmm not sure. dont know if i can say my getting a haircut by someone other thany myself in years counts because hubby took me and he got his hair cut same time too, i badly needed it, was at a beauty school where the people are just learning, cost $7. but yeah dunno if it counts as hubby sugessted it for us to go do together as a couple instead of the usual my cutting his hair for him. (think it was more to save me the hassle of doing his for him)
umm lol does my taking a shower earlier in the morning so its uninterupted count as for myself? also since i woke up at 3 am earlier than usual i did make a small pot of coffee using the nicer brand of coffee grounds. i honestly cant recall last time i did something bigger thats only just for me. its been years, generally im doign alot of bigger nice things for dh and kids, there nothing left for me to have or do something nice, gets to point its choice of them having or getting something or me having something. cant do it all, and when i bring it up it just ends in guilt and all unhappy at prosepect of them not having something else nice for them for me to have something. they used to standard of what they have and get, i kinda fall by the wayside, partly my own fault though as i end up feeling bad for wanting in 1st place and just choose to give them more to keep others happy and content. some bigger things like dh being able to get a certian game, ended up meaning i went without deoderant and shavers for shaving legs ect for 2 months for him to have it. (sad i know, he sorta noticed but didnt notice, when i commented about it he said he loves me anyway even if i think my legs look like sasquach legs, oh well was harder to reach to shave them anyway with big pregnant belly in way. ive begun pointing out to him nagging him of all the times he says he never gets to get blah blah blah that he wants, pointing out several times a week he went and got something he wanted that was bigger me having to rebudget and change meal plan for week so that he had it, when did it ever really "count" as he got something all for himself as each time the pervious time doesnt seem to count for some reason (i hate the whole use of word i never or always) ive started pointing out asking him when was last time something was set asside or changed or that i got something for me or treated myself? he then feels bad because he cant remember or said in time together he hasnt seen me get anything for me. then points out oh that i dont really even ask . well i say yeah because theres something else you want to get that never get anything blah blah blah thats taking priority, makes it impossible for me to have something because it means you dont get that item. i put you 1st before myself. my 1st thoughts are of other household members. there isnt time to really think about what i want because i wouldnt get it, so i try not even to think about things id like.
but he has told me his plan to get me a really bad ass $200 fancy coffee maker when tax return comes in. must admit i really would love to have one but sorta feel bad at price tag on it beign only for me, thats $200 that i could spend on him and kids , arg there i go putting myself last again. i really need to try and put myself 1st more and demand things for just only me.
My husband made dinner the other night so I could catch up on some shows, I dvred
I took myself out to lunch on Tuesday. Technically, it was to celebrate the fact that my breast ultrasound that morning revealed cysts rather than tumors, but it was for me regardless.
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