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*Pregnant 15 yo* Was her mom right to say this? Edit in Red.

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Poll

Question: Do you feel the mom was right in saying that?

Options:

Yes. It's true. If she wants to be a mom she needs to take complete and unrealistic responsibility for her burden.

No. I don't feel that's fair at all.

I think that some responsibilty is good. But what the mom is asking is unreasonable.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 219

View Results

In response to questions, I contacted my aunt who knows the family, today. The update from her is that the mom will not allow her daughter to get on any type of assistance. She is of the mind that you take care of your own and don't live off the government. She has always paid her own way and she expects her daughter to do no less. Schools with free daycare is off the table too. She will not coddle her and let her take the easy way out.

There's a 15 year old girl. She got pregnant by her boyfriend who skipped out soon after. And she hid the pregnancy from her parents until it was too late for an abortion.Now she's 6 months pregnant and her mom is pushing hard for adoption. She has her whole life ahead of her, she doesn't need to be saddled with a baby, yada, yada, yada. But the girl really wants to keep her baby.So finally this is what the mom said,

Mom: "Okay." "You want to keep you baby?" "You take care of him all the time." "I will not be a babysitter." "I raised my baby, now it's your turn."

Daughter: "But what about school?" "Aren't you going to watch him while I'm at school?"

Mom: "No." "Looks like you're going to be needing a job to pay for daycare." "Not to mention his diapers, formula, clothes and whatever else he needs." "You want to be a mom so bad?" "Then take on all the responsibilities of a mother.

Daughter: "But that's not fair!"

by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:22 PM
Replies (21-30):
kLynch315
by Member on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:47 PM
I did both for awhile then I quit and got my GED. waahh I'm still sad about that. It's okay though it didn't hold me back because I'm now working on my MS in psychology. I am not with the father. He became a drug addict and abusive, so I left before our DD got old enough to realize anything. Now I've been happily married for 6 years!

Quoting paganbaby:

That's great! Did you work or go to school? And are you still with the father?

I agree. I think the mom is being unreasonably unsupported and she needs to find that support somewhere.

Quoting kLynch315:

I was 17 which is a little different. I'd hope the mom at least would support her in some sense, and maybe they have those schools for teen mom's there. The 15 year old needs to seek out the pregnancy crisis hotline to help assist her in her options since mom won't.



Quoting paganbaby:

In this situation I don't know if those options are being made available to her.

How old were you?

Quoting kLynch315:

She can likely qualify for childcare assistance while in school. If not she could do online school. There are options. I was a teen mom, lived on my own with my bf, and didn't expect anyone to raise my Child. It can be done and I don't blame the mom. My mom said the same things!



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luvmybug
by Amanda on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:48 PM

that's basically what my mom told me. and everything turned out just fine.

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:48 PM

Yeah.

I also feel like the mom's seeing the situation as either black or white. There's no room for compromise with her and that's sad.

Quoting Meg2011425:

If I were the 15 year old I would leave my mom. Because for the girl the moms pushing her daughter and the daughters pushing her mom away. It's sad and yes she had sex and got pregnant, she does need to grow up but I think the mom could have handled it a little differently.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this

high five High five mama! Lets hear it for a happy ending!

Quoting kLynch315:

I did both for awhile then I quit and got my GED. waahh I'm still sad about that. It's okay though it didn't hold me back because I'm now working on my MS in psychology. I am not with the father. He became a drug addict and abusive, so I left before our DD got old enough to realize anything. Now I've been happily married for 6 years!

Quoting paganbaby:

That's great! Did you work or go to school? And are you still with the father?

I agree. I think the mom is being unreasonably unsupported and she needs to find that support somewhere.

Quoting kLynch315:

I was 17 which is a little different. I'd hope the mom at least would support her in some sense, and maybe they have those schools for teen mom's there. The 15 year old needs to seek out the pregnancy crisis hotline to help assist her in her options since mom won't.



Quoting paganbaby:

In this situation I don't know if those options are being made available to her.

How old were you?

Quoting kLynch315:

She can likely qualify for childcare assistance while in school. If not she could do online school. There are options. I was a teen mom, lived on my own with my bf, and didn't expect anyone to raise my Child. It can be done and I don't blame the mom. My mom said the same things!




Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:50 PM

How old were you and what did you do?

Quoting luvmybug:

that's basically what my mom told me. and everything turned out just fine.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Chelsey191
by Member on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:51 PM
i would never do that to my kid no matter what. Yup she has a hard life ahead of her but that is way too harsh in my opinion. I would help her finish school and go to university and get a job so she can give herself and my grandbaby the life they deserve. She would get a part time job while she was in school and would turn half her paycheck over to me. I would put it in savings so when she is ready for university or to move out on her own she has money for it. I have done the single mom two jobs thing and with out my family's help i never would have made it. And i am 28 but there was no daycare open for evenings at my 2nd job. It was for less then a year while i looked for a better job so i could afford not to work two jobs.
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jamamama00
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:52 PM

Yes!!! I mean, I have mixed feelings about this, because I see a lot of people who post on here that are SO shocked that their kid got knocked up and then say that it happened "at a sleepover" or when she was "at her boyfriend's house and parents were supposed to be home." Parents should know better than to blindly trust teenagers when they claim they are going to be supervised! On the other hand,,,the kid purposefully hid it until it was too late to abort. I would be more furious about that. I completely agree that when I'm done raising kids, I'm not going to raise anyone else's....

hopefulmommy22
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:53 PM
2 moms liked this
That so called mother is a cunt. I would never act this way to my daughter (if I still had one) I would help her if she needed me no matter how old she was
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Paperfishies
by Member on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:55 PM
I see what the mom is trying to do but she is wrong.

I would never allow a grandchild of mine to be given up for adoption, given away like some unwanted puppy.
Shit happens. Teens fuck up. We were ALL teenagers once and not a damn one of us was perfect. I would support my child and she would finish high school. I would urge her to go
To college, and allow her to live at home with her baby as long as she was in school and doing well.
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luvmybug
by Amanda on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:55 PM

i was 16 and found all the assistance programs that i could. yeah it was rogh, but i made it through. i got my own medical insurance through the state, daycare assistance, and got on WIC, and also food stamps and state income. my mom didn't even want to babysit my daughter. that was hard on me, but, like i said....i made it. i graduated high school and everything.

Quoting paganbaby:

How old were you and what did you do?

Quoting luvmybug:

that's basically what my mom told me. and everything turned out just fine.



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