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*Pregnant 15 yo* Was her mom right to say this? Edit in Red.

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Poll

Question: Do you feel the mom was right in saying that?

Options:

Yes. It's true. If she wants to be a mom she needs to take complete and unrealistic responsibility for her burden.

No. I don't feel that's fair at all.

I think that some responsibilty is good. But what the mom is asking is unreasonable.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 219

View Results

In response to questions, I contacted my aunt who knows the family, today. The update from her is that the mom will not allow her daughter to get on any type of assistance. She is of the mind that you take care of your own and don't live off the government. She has always paid her own way and she expects her daughter to do no less. Schools with free daycare is off the table too. She will not coddle her and let her take the easy way out.

There's a 15 year old girl. She got pregnant by her boyfriend who skipped out soon after. And she hid the pregnancy from her parents until it was too late for an abortion.Now she's 6 months pregnant and her mom is pushing hard for adoption. She has her whole life ahead of her, she doesn't need to be saddled with a baby, yada, yada, yada. But the girl really wants to keep her baby.So finally this is what the mom said,

Mom: "Okay." "You want to keep you baby?" "You take care of him all the time." "I will not be a babysitter." "I raised my baby, now it's your turn."

Daughter: "But what about school?" "Aren't you going to watch him while I'm at school?"

Mom: "No." "Looks like you're going to be needing a job to pay for daycare." "Not to mention his diapers, formula, clothes and whatever else he needs." "You want to be a mom so bad?" "Then take on all the responsibilities of a mother.

Daughter: "But that's not fair!"

by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:22 PM
Replies (31-40):
CBMMOM
by Member on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:57 PM


Quoting paganbaby:


Quoting CBMMOM:


Quoting paganbaby:

Yes, but do you think it's possible for a 15 year old to actually do everything her mom outlined?

Quoting JJSMOMMYxox:

If your old enough to have sex, your old enough to deal with the consequences.


I doubt she could,which is why her mom is pushing for adoption. If mom doesn't want to take care of another baby ,maybe she shouldn't have one.  Oh wait,she didn't.

Absolutely, I agree. But is she taking into account her daughters mental state should she be "forced" to give her baby up?

She is probably taking into account her 15 year old's mental state if she ends her childhood so abruptly and prematurely. For instance,instead of going to a pg movie (cause that's all she is old enough to go see) with her friends,she is stuck at home taking care of a crying baby.  Or she just wants to be a lazy,carefree teenager on a Saturday morning,but those days will be over forever.

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:58 PM

That's a great plan! I'll keep it in mind God forbid the situation ever comes up.

And I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I can't imagine working two jobs and being a single mom at the same time.

Quoting Chelsey191:

i would never do that to my kid no matter what. Yup she has a hard life ahead of her but that is way too harsh in my opinion. I would help her finish school and go to university and get a job so she can give herself and my grandbaby the life they deserve. She would get a part time job while she was in school and would turn half her paycheck over to me. I would put it in savings so when she is ready for university or to move out on her own she has money for it. I have done the single mom two jobs thing and with out my family's help i never would have made it. And i am 28 but there was no daycare open for evenings at my 2nd job. It was for less then a year while i looked for a better job so i could afford not to work two jobs.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:59 PM


Quoting CBMMOM:


Quoting paganbaby:


Quoting CBMMOM:


Quoting paganbaby:

Yes, but do you think it's possible for a 15 year old to actually do everything her mom outlined?

Quoting JJSMOMMYxox:

If your old enough to have sex, your old enough to deal with the consequences.


I doubt she could,which is why her mom is pushing for adoption. If mom doesn't want to take care of another baby ,maybe she shouldn't have one.  Oh wait,she didn't.

Absolutely, I agree. But is she taking into account her daughters mental state should she be "forced" to give her baby up?

She is probably taking into account her 15 year old's mental state if she ends her childhood so abruptly and prematurely. For instance,instead of going to a pg movie (cause that's all she is old enough to go see) with her friends,she is stuck at home taking care of a crying baby.  Or she just wants to be a lazy,carefree teenager on a Saturday morning,but those days will be over forever.

I can see that. But is it really the moms descion to make? I can see this seriously backfiring on her :-(

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:01 PM

I have two daughters. One just turned 13. I pray to God/dess this never happens to either of them.

Quoting jamamama00:

Yes!!! I mean, I have mixed feelings about this, because I see a lot of people who post on here that are SO shocked that their kid got knocked up and then say that it happened "at a sleepover" or when she was "at her boyfriend's house and parents were supposed to be home." Parents should know better than to blindly trust teenagers when they claim they are going to be supervised! On the other hand,,,the kid purposefully hid it until it was too late to abort. I would be more furious about that. I completely agree that when I'm done raising kids, I'm not going to raise anyone else's....


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:03 PM

You sound like my mom. My sister got pregnant at 17 and she basically said the same thing. She graduated high school and is now in college, I ended up with the baby though and became a teen mom myself through default. Same thing stood. My mom took care of us until I moved out on my own.

Quoting Paperfishies:

I see what the mom is trying to do but she is wrong.

I would never allow a grandchild of mine to be given up for adoption, given away like some unwanted puppy.
Shit happens. Teens fuck up. We were ALL teenagers once and not a damn one of us was perfect. I would support my child and she would finish high school. I would urge her to go
To college, and allow her to live at home with her baby as long as she was in school and doing well.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

ragitty
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I got pregnant at 17, had him at 18. When I was deciding whether or not to adopt or parent I was leaning towards adoption because I knew I could not provide everything he deserved. It was always a dream to give my children AT LEAST everything I had growing up, which due to 2 amazing parents is no easy task, It wasn't until both of my parents came to me separately and said if I kept him they would do everything they could to help financially support us until I graduated college. Eventually, they talked me into accepting their help and they more than followed through on their offer. While I am extremely grateful for what they have done for me and my family, I still firmly believe they would have been firmly within their rights to say what this mother said, and I could not be angry with them for it. They raised their 4 kids, they shouldn't have to raise their grandchildren (as I continually remind them when they offer to buy him a bunch of new clothes and toys). I am graduating in May and so grateful that they won't have to support us any longer (once again, not that I demand it of them) and I will spend my whole life trying to find a way to repay them for what they have done.

If my children were ever in this position, I hope I would be able to do everything my parents did for me, but I believe the mother is perfectly right to hold the daughter completely responsible. It is one thing to accept help that is offered. It is completely different to demand assistance that was not offered.

nocalmegan
by Member on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:07 PM
It is. My mom did it with me 23 years ago and this girl can do it now. Its called responsibilty and being held accountable for her actions. Why should gramma be stuck being a babysitter when a 15 year old knows full and well that she can get pregnant from having sex and she hid it as long as she could. She made her bed.....


Quoting paganbaby:

Do you think it's possible for a 15 year old to go to school full time, work full time and take care of her baby?

Quoting CreziaMommyTo2:

she opened her legs, had sex, got pregnant, waited to late to abort, so yea she needs to grow up

mom is doing right by this.

WTG mom, i just hope she sticks to her guns and follows through



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terpmama
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:09 PM
Quoting paganbaby:




Yep, I've seen it done
paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:09 PM

I don't know if this girl understands that she has those options. They're upper middle class and she's pretty sheltered.

Quoting luvmybug:

i was 16 and found all the assistance programs that i could. yeah it was rogh, but i made it through. i got my own medical insurance through the state, daycare assistance, and got on WIC, and also food stamps and state income. my mom didn't even want to babysit my daughter. that was hard on me, but, like i said....i made it. i graduated high school and everything.

Quoting paganbaby:

How old were you and what did you do?

Quoting luvmybug:

that's basically what my mom told me. and everything turned out just fine.




Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:12 PM

Your mother was 15, went to school full time and held a full time job that payed for all daycare, formula, diapers, clothing, and raised her baby completely on her own? How?

And I think she hid the pregnancy because her mother would have tried to make her abort.

Quoting nocalmegan:

It is. My mom did it with me 23 years ago and this girl can do it now. Its called responsibilty and being held accountable for her actions. Why should gramma be stuck being a babysitter when a 15 year old knows full and well that she can get pregnant from having sex and she hid it as long as she could. She made her bed.....


Quoting paganbaby:

Do you think it's possible for a 15 year old to go to school full time, work full time and take care of her baby?

Quoting CreziaMommyTo2:

she opened her legs, had sex, got pregnant, waited to late to abort, so yea she needs to grow up

mom is doing right by this.

WTG mom, i just hope she sticks to her guns and follows through




Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

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